The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Confidence Is Nurtured by Positive Self Talk
Encourage your athlete to think positively, such as, I deserve my success, I have trained for it, I am a problem solver, I am resilient, I will do my best and/or I can. A positive attitude is a critical first step when tackling performance anxiety issues. Sadly, I’ve found that many athletes are actually nurtured pessimism. This happens when players are raised by parents or trained by coaches that see the negatives in every situation- which is actually programming pessimism unknowingly to their children. Ironically, the very same parents and coaches often report, “My kids are so negative!”
If the family environment is becoming a bit too negative, a fun game to play for the entire family is an old psychology exercise called the “Flip It” game. Trust me, it could change your lives.
Hold a family meeting and introduce a one week exercise. Everyone is encouraged to say “Flip It” whenever they witness another family member saying something pessimistic or acting negatively. Athlete example, “I don’t want to eat this healthy stuff.”- FLIP IT, “I hate this drill”-FLIP IT, “It’s too early…I don’t want to go for a run before school.” FLIP IT! Parental example “Yea, he won 6-2, 6-4 but he should have won 0-0”, -FLIP IT! This exercise spotlights the negative behavior. It makes the negatron aware of his/her reoccurring pessimism and encourages optimism in a light-hearted, non-threatening way.
“Learning to spot and flip pessimism and replace it with optimism is presenting the moral code needed to champion tennis and life.”
