The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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NURTURING ATHLETIC ROYALTY
Parents, let’s take a moment and focus now on you. One of the most critical parental failures committed while raising athletic royalty is the way in which some parents choose to navigate their world.
“Kids tend to copy your actions and ignore your wishes.”
This is called modeling. The way you handle situations speaks volumes to your children. Your attitude, thoughts and daily moral code is being imprinted into your child’s psyche every hour of every day.
While on a recent coaching trip to the Island of Tobago, for an International Tennis Federation event, I had the opportunity to meet two fathers with opposing personality profiles; Mr. Vincent Lorenzo and Mr. Olson White. Both fathers had kids competing in the tournament, they were both in their mid-40’s, slightly balding and carrying a few extra pounds. Ironically, they both resided in New Jersey.
Like South Florida, tropical rain fall came like clockwork in Tobago. During the daily rain delays we spoke for hours on end under the tournament tent. I found that while the sons of Mr. Lorenzo and Mr. White had similar training environments, their inner sanctuary proved to be polar opposites.
The following are my observations after spending three days with the two east coast dads:
Mr Lorenzo fosters trust and belief in people. His New Jersey neighbor, Mr. White rolls his eyes and doubts everything and everyone. Mr. Lorenzo thinks things through, decides on an action plan and acts. Mr. White freezes, hesitates, over thinks about every possible failure and then fails to act in a timely manner. Mr. Lorenzo focuses on the solution to a problem while Mr. White only complains about the same problem for hours and hours on end.
Mr Lorenzo prepares protocols to handle difficult situations beforehand. Mr. White has prepared dozens of excuses. Mr. Lorenzo is fine with working and earning his way through the world. Mr. White wishes and hopes he’ll win the lottery. While others talk, Mr. Lorenzo listens and retains pertinent information that may prove meaningful in the future, while Mr. White rolls his eyes, believing he already knows it all, and doesn’t bother to listen because he is too busy thinking of a way to one-up the others.
Mr. Lorenzo plans and visualizes success and Mr. White obsesses and complains about how nothing ever seems to work out for him.
Now, put yourself in the shoes of a NCAA coach with scholarship funds left to give away. Without ever meeting their boys, would you pick young Tony Lorenzo or young Stanley White?
Top coaches try to interview and spend time with the parents and junior coaches of their prospects to understand what’s being nurtured into the athlete. After all, the coach will have to deal with the baggage that comes along with the recruits.
“Great athletes are nurtured differently than good athletes.”
Parents, remember that an experienced coach can teach the technical nuances of a sport. A dedicated trainer can assist in building strong muscles and stamina. But you are your child’s life skills master teacher. Pay attention to your attitude, thoughts and actions because great athletes are nurtured differently than good athletes.
