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Building Coachable Athletes- Part 3

Posted on September 1, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Frank Giampaolo

 

Let’s Look at the Characteristics of the Coachable Athlete:

  • Willingness to Accept the Coach’s Philosophy
  • Acceptance of the Necessity for Improvement
  • Desire to be Accountable
  • Optimism and Growth Minded
  • Respectfulness
  • Acceptance of Responsibility
  • Letting Go of Excuses
  • Non-Combative Attitude
  • Open-Minded too Constructive Criticism
  • Eager to Receive Feedback
  • Respectful of the Coach’s Knowledge
  • Selflessness
  • Integrity
  • Courageous

It’s astounding how many young athletes self-sabotage their potential by choosing to ignore the above positive characteristics. Coachable athletes are taught life skills development and religiously held accountable for their morals and ethical conduct by their parents and coaches. Parents and athletes, please look for the above positive characteristics of the coachable athlete in your entourage of coaches as well. You can be sure that quality coaches will be looking for the same positive characteristics in their students and their parents.

 

In the 1st Edition of The Tennis Parents Bible (published in 2010), I wrote about the importance of positive coaching and parenting. A vital takeaway was the use of the 5-1 compliment to critique rule (verbal and non-verbal). If athletes are to fire their optimistic responses we have to provide the ammunition. I recommend exposing these qualities in timely condensed sessions. Coaches, the above 14 coachable software skills should be discussed in a creative, interactive information exchange that feels like a chat versus a moral lesson.


 

Building Coachable Athletes – Part 2

Posted on August 30, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

Is Your Athlete Un-Coachable?

A gifted but un-coachable athlete is every coach’s nightmare. The un-coachable athlete displays the following symptoms: showing up late for practice and lacking personal commitment, passion, and real effort. These athletes routinely play the blame game, roll their eyes at constructive feedback, and are close-minded to improvement. Un-coachable athletes spend the majority of their training sessions defending their poor choices and creating drama.

 

“Some athletes cling desperately to bad form because they have spent years developing it.”

Being committed to one’s emotional development isn’t a genetic predisposition, it is a learned behavior nurtured by intelligent parents and coaches. Changing a talented yet un-coachable athlete into a coachable athlete takes great emotional aptitude from both the parents and coach.

Improving an athlete’s software (coach-ability) is often a prerequisite for real learning, quicker growth, and maximizing potential. I believe great coaches and parents have to facilitate coach-ability. They have to convince the athlete that change is good, which is key because learning begins with change and change begins with learning.

Emotional modification begins with the athlete being open and honest enough to develop a humble and respectful attitude, competitive drive, and willingness to learn. It includes gratefulness that a coach cares enough and is willing to tackle the unpleasantries of the task. Teaching discipline, accountability, and responsibility is a very different job description than teaching a topspin backhand.

Building Coachable Athletes- Part 1

Posted on August 26, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

frank

Building Coachable Athletes

 

During a seminar, I conducted at The Wingate Sports Institute in Tel Aviv, Israel an attending woman’s volleyball coach raised her hand and asked me a great question: How does one discover their true potential? I responded, whether you’re coaching, parenting, or playing your chosen sport, realize that you’re only one decision away from going up a level. The choice to avoid risk is what holds most of us back. Even before we attempt an endeavor, fear of the unknown forces most of us to retreat our efforts.

In psychology, it’s called the Spotlight Effect. The brain hesitates when it perceives there’s going to be a problem. We are hardwired to avoid pain and hardship whether it be physical, mental, or emotional.  It’s easy to slide back and continue the same old comfortable routines, but “easy” only produces average results. Tennis coaches and players habitually choose to groove another basket of balls versus shifting their focus to the actual needs of the player (cause of losses). Why? It’s far less painful.

What’s holding us back is changing our decisions to taking risks versus routinely avoiding risks. Unpredictability and uncertainty should be seen as positive gatekeepers. I recommend moving towards those feelings versus running away from them. We all have an affinity for our habits. All too often we stay too long with those habits not because they’re productive but because we’re loyal to them.

A new relationship to anything may appear risky, but truth be told, it’s often riskier to remain in an ineffective environment. The real danger lies in stagnation. We instinctively know that around the world, opponents are training smarter, faster, and more efficiently. Remaining in our comfort zone will only leave us behind the competition. To our detriment, our brains will try to sabotage any and all attempts at doing anything uncomfortable. I recommend shifting focus from the negative attitude of “what could go wrong” to the positive attitude of “what could go right.”

Whose responsibility is it to teach coachability? The typical response from a parent is, “I assume my child’s coaches are teaching life skills…right?” Ask a coach and the response is, “Teaching life skills are the responsibility of the parents. They’re paying me to teach their child strokes.” Ideally, these core values are the result of everyone involved in the athlete’s development, with the parents playing the decisive role. Providing children with the opportunity to take responsibility and instill accountability at an early age is not only an essential skill set for coach-ability but a vital life skill. Communication and independent problem-solving skills are the foundations of coachability.

 

“Two core software skills champions need most are millisecond decision making and problem-solving skills. Both of which,
are not commonly found in standardized drilling.”

Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems -Part 4

Posted on August 24, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

The following is a list of positive personality traits that I suggest nurturing on a daily basis.

  • A “Can Do” Optimistic Attitude
  • A Growth Mindset
  • Confidence, Belief, and Self-Worth
  • Positive Inner Dialog
  • Positive Outer Dialog and Interactions
  • Managing Perfectionism
  • Applying Affirmations to Re-Trigger the Subconscious
  • Visualizing Motivational Forces
  • Maintaining a Positive Physiology
  • Bringing an Enthusiastic Spirit Everywhere

In my experience, far too many gifted athletes don’t thrive at the elite level because they lack a well-developed positive belief system.

 

My daughter started playing tennis seriously at the age of 10. Every lesson, every day, every week I said to her as we would pick up tennis balls “Sarah, you’re going to be playing the US Open if you keep training like this! Way to go!” Sarah played her first US Open at 15 years of age. Developing the personality traits of a champion doesn’t replace training, it enhances it. At crunch time, it’s all about the athlete’s inner dialog. They’re going to convince themselves that they can or can’t, and either way, they’re usually right.

 

At tournament sites, I routinely listen to the parent’s dialog after the loss of their junior competitor. “You had’em again Kelly… you blew it.” Well, guess what Kelly’s new inner dialog is in future tight matches? “Come on… please don’t blow it again…you always blow it!” While poor parenting sent the initial message, Kelly is now both the sender and receiver of this ongoing, catastrophic message. Breaking this cycle of a negative inner dialog is life-changing. A key component in peak performance is a positive inner dialog.

It is worth repeating, that when it comes to self-coaching in competition, every athlete has a choice in dialog, to be self-encouraging, or to be self-defeating. Far too often I witness athletes surprised that they’re encountering hardships in tournament play. Thriving in competition is all about one’s ability to expect hardships versus being surprised by them and of course, choosing a healthy response system.

 

“Positive personality traits program productive solutions. Negative personality traits produce unproductive excuses.”

 

The good news is that even if an athlete has programmed negative belief systems from early adolescence, it can be changed. Well-informed parents and coaches are typically the most influential adult figures and are positioned to help quiet the athlete’s inner critic. Our daily messages become their inner voice.

 

For the technical coaching guru’s reading this, I get it. If an athlete has no forehand, backhand, serve, or volley but a great attitude, they’re just going to be a happy loser. I’m not suggesting to train the athlete’s software instead of their hardware; I’m saying train the software along with the hardware to maximize potential and increase competitive dominance.

 

Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems- Part 3

Posted on August 21, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

 

Destroying Negative Past Beliefs

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Educate Choices

The old saying is “It’s not the event that shapes us, it’s how we choose to view it.” After competition, it is not healthy to focus on everything the athlete did wrong. Growth-minded individuals choose to focus on opportunities that lead to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth.

 

Replace Negative Perceptions with Positive Affirmations

Past and present pessimistic beliefs shape an athlete’s current opinions. List their negative perceptions and discuss where they originated.  Then assist the athlete in rewriting their inner dialog with positive versions to reprogram the athlete’s beliefs. Coaches, parents, and athletes, please realize that overriding and rewiring a pessimistic outlook is a very doable task given time and patience.

 

Educate Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance refers to the athlete’s inconsistent opposing thoughts and beliefs. It’s the natural mental discomfort or psychological stress that comes with change. Replacing an old belief with a new belief is similar to reprogramming a flawed stroke. Typically, it takes 4-6 weeks for the new motor program to override the old flawed stroke. At the beginning of the metamorphosis, the athlete owns two opposite belief systems, the old and the new. The older more comfortable version will initially overtake and resist the new. This inner war should be explained to any student suffering from their past negatives beliefs.

The time it takes to replace their disempowering belief with their new empowering belief is customized to the time and effort the individual puts into the metamorphosis. Some athletes will choose to speed up the optimistic priming process with hours of neuro priming per week, while other less committed athletes may only choose to set aside one hour a week. Obviously, the time dedicated to the project dictates the speed and effectiveness of the transformation.

 

Neuro Priming the New Belief System

Together the parent/coach and athlete should sit down and list the benefits of the new optimistic belief system. The athlete should be encouraged to read their list of positive affirmations list into their voice recorder app on their cell phone and listen to their recordings nightly to Neuro Prime (visualize and mentally rehearse) their optimistic beliefs. Negative past beliefs can be destroyed and replaced. Optimistic beliefs begin with the athletes vividly imagining themselves performing to perfection in competition. Persistence is key as the new empowering beliefs gain control and the disempowering beliefs die out.

 

“Thought patterns shape our lives and help or hinder athletic performance.”

 

Overriding my negative past beliefs 32 years ago contributed significantly to my change and success as a teacher, author, and human being. Re-conditioning a negative athlete is one of the most satisfying experiences a coach will ever experience.

 

Once the athlete becomes aware of their limiting perceptions, and they choose to destroy their negative inner dialog, they will recognize the unnecessary pain that has been holding them back. It’s incredibly gratifying to witness a struggling athlete blossom into a confident, optimistic, happier person.

While coaches and even some parents routinely spot flawed strokes, most allow their athlete’s negative self-dialog to go unchecked. Overriding the athletes past pessimistic belief systems is a critical function in The Soft Science of Tennis.

 

Perception Awareness

Often, athletes listen to that little pessimistic voice inside their brain all day long. This internal conversation programs their attitude, effort, and of course, their match behavior. In this case, shifting attention from stroke adjustments to an attitude adjustment is mandatory. Erasing by replacing negative voices with positive ones is essential.

 

“In the heat of battle, positive versus negative internal dialog is what often separates the winners from losers.”

 

Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems-Part 2

Posted on August 19, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Reprogramming a Negative Athletes Brainfrank

It’s within the parent’s and coach’s job description to help change the way negative personalities see themselves and the world around them. Often, like my younger self; athletes harbor past oppressive patterns of belief. These false beliefs are their perceptions of the truth and they are often based on the distorted knowledge that is likely holding them back.

Negative believers typically have a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. Fixed mindset individuals stubbornly believe that individuals can’t really grow, learn and improve. A common false fixed mindset belief is “Some are born with it… some just aren’t.”

Psychologists refer to the subconscious knowledge (negative thoughts) we form as young children as conditioned beliefs. These pessimistic beliefs are developed with the help of parents, friends, social media, teachers, coaches, and society. All of these influencers mold the athlete’s thoughts and actions. Without a conscious effort to question whether or not these beliefs are helpful, many children unknowingly take these conditioned beliefs into adulthood.

Believing the negative perceptions of others can destroy an athlete’s inner belief (dialog) and override intelligent self-coaching under stressful match conditions. Negative past beliefs become the athlete’s self-fulfilling prophecy. Athletes young and old often believe what their authority figure tells them, such as:

  • You’re not talented enough.
  • You’re not smart enough.
  • You lost in your first three events. Try another sport.
  • You’re too short; you’re too slow.
  • You’re too young; you’re too old.

It is essential that parents, coaches, and mentors learn to teach optimism, regardless of their personal conditioned beliefs to maximize the potential in their children and athletes. Though not every athlete is capable of or may not even desire to become a high-performance player, it is essential that every athlete is given the opportunity a growth mindset affords. When nurtured correctly, one day these children will be able to influence others positively.

Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems- Part 1

Posted on August 17, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Overriding Negative Past Belief SystemsSoft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

 

It was September 1986, after my second stint teaching tennis at the Wooster College Summer Tennis Camps. I decided that I wanted to give full-time tennis teaching a real shot. I’d been trapped in Ohio‘s nonstop rain watching a PBS television series called Future Sports. There on my TV, I watched a young Vic Braden combine standup comedy with the most intriguing sports science I’d ever heard. This short, pudgy tennis teacher with a contagious smile was light years ahead of any tennis instruction I’d ever seen. If I were to impact my clients, I’d first have to be a student of the game and improve my tennis IQ, and for that, I would need a real mentor.

I arrived in Southern California, drove past Cooks Corner, a Harley biker bar that’s still going strong today, and continued driving up El Toro, for what seemed to be a never-ending road, straight to Coto De Caza. I knocked on the office door of the famous Vic Braden Tennis College. “Hi, I’m Frank. I want to learn how to coach this game. I’m a decent player and have a knack for people.” Mary Lay, The Tennis College Director, said, in the sweetest voice, “Well, we have a full staff, and we get about a dozen great resumes a week but if you want to take notes and observe Vic and the staff you’re welcome here!”

So, every day for the next two weeks I arrived at the tennis college at 8:00 a.m. and left the gates around 6:00 p.m. all the while intently observing and taking six legal pads full of notes. Fourteen days later, I was offered a job coaching at this prestigious tennis school called The Vic Braden Tennis College (VBTC). I guess they saw that the new 23-year-old kid was persistent and hungry for knowledge.

I couldn’t have been happier being paid to continue to learn while I taught. It was at this time when I discovered how emotionally inept I was… A VBTC seasoned coach placed a handheld cassette tape recorder under my teaching basket. He said it would be meaningful for me to tape a session and to listen to the recording and count how many positive to negative comments I had made. In a one-hour recording, I was horrified and humiliated to admit that I said “Don’t do this, don’t do that” 49 times! …And I thought I was helping! If I could find that poor couple today, I’d gladly refund them their money. I wanted to be so positive and helpful, but my past belief systems came out in all their negative glory. It was a life-changing, soul-crushing lesson I needed to learn. My pessimistic past was influencing my coaching.

Ironically, as I had observed Vic coaching, I felt a kindred spirit (We were both ENFP’s), and I knew I was in the right place. My genetic predisposition had always been to be kind and personable. Observing Vic validated my intuition that his positive view of the world was a better fit for me personally.

During my first year of teaching at the VBTC, I worked continuously to override my negative past beliefs and exposed my true positive genetic predisposition. My childhood experiences molded my inner beliefs, and these subconscious, pessimistic character traits didn’t sit well with me. Vic, and his wife Melody, and the kind tennis college staff encouraged me daily with the power of choice. They helped me turn my scars into praiseworthy character. Interestingly, they did so much more than teach me how to teach the game. They taught me how to change from a pessimist to an optimist, and I owe the world to them. Fortunately for me, I was able to open and direct Vic Braden Tennis Colleges, represent Vic as his agent, and most importantly, become lifelong friends.

The Importance of Nurturing- Tennis Development Part 2

Posted on August 12, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazonsoft science

 

Developmental Psychology

 

“It is not nature versus nurture; it is nature and nurture.”

 

Today there’s a movement called Developmental Psychology. These experts research the intertwining relationship between genetic and environmental influences. In regards to the athletes’ environmental influences, the two most important influences I’ve witnessed are their parents and coaches. Teachers and older siblings come in a close second. We influence why athletes think the way they think, why they say what they say and why they do what they do. We are the environmental influences that mold their talents and temperaments.

Developmental Psychology researchers use the word plasticity as they discover deeper implications to how humans respond to nurturing. Following are two negative pre-match preparation pep-talks given to an athlete by his parents. Although both messages lack positive support, it is the way in which the athlete chooses to respond that is interesting.

 

Toxic Pre Match Parental Pep Talk

“Joseph, if you blow it again this weekend, your mother and I are considering pulling the plug on your tennis. I’ll be taking notes and listing all your shortcomings on my iPad. Don’t blow it! Love, Dad.”

 

Uninvolved Parent Pre Match Dialog

 

“Joey, honey… Mommy’s driving into the city to Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale. I have to drop you off at 7:00 a.m. I put lunch money in your bag. Enjoy your little game. I’ll pick you up between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Mommy.”

 

Although the first pep talk is clearly negative and soul-wrenching to read let alone experience, the second pep talk is just as negative. A parent that takes no interest in their child’s passion is showing a lack of support and encouragement. Remember, it’s how the athlete chooses to respond that’s critical. Some athletes work hard to prove their parents right. Some fight all their lives to prove their parents wrong. Which of the following responses would you choose?

Response A-The Athletes folds as they feel the lack of parental confidence, love, and support and shortly quit the game. Proving the parents right.

Response B– The athlete applies plasticity as they use their parent’s horrendous pre-match pep talks to motivate better performance. Proving the parents wrong.

 

Self-Nurturing

I believe that high-performance athletes determined to be the best they can be, have to take nurturing to another level. I call it self-nurturing, and I believe it to be the most important life skill. Self-nurturing is choosing to apply persistence and resiliency in the face of poor outside influences. I’ve witnessed athletes with incredible coaching and parenting who choose to fail, as well as, athletes with absolutely pitiful coaching and parenting who choose to succeed.

If success is in the athlete’s blood, I suggest motivating them to think of the negative people and their words as fuel. Proving someone wrong who doesn’t believe in them is a powerful motivation. It’s self-nurturing at its finest. These individuals make the athlete work smarter, harder, and longer …all for the reward of proving them wrong. Revenge is funny that way.

Improving self-nurturing skills requires us to put aside our ego and listen to others. I’m not suggesting that you agree with 100% of what they’re saying, but rather consider the context of their words and take a look in the mirror and decide if there’s any truth to their comments. Every one of us has aspects of our life that we can improve.

Coaches, parents, and athletes with a little self-reflection, we can all challenge ourselves in the realm of self-nurturing. To me, self-nurturing is a daily self-educating process. Every industry leader I admire is obsessed with self-improvement. They research relentlessly, attend conferences, read, write books, and take online courses to continue to learn and improve. They expose their deficiencies and make them efficiencies.

“The great self-nurturers of our time are growth mindset individuals who see futuristically, something greater that is currently present.”

The Importance of Nurturing- Tennis Development Part 1

Posted on August 9, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

The Importance of Nurturing

 

A family from Georgia called to book a 3-day customized evaluation session with me in California. Steven, the dad, was a former nationally ranked junior and top college player. Eddy, his 14-year-old son, is a junior competitor. As we began our tennis evaluation, within minutes, I noticed some glaring red flags. Halfway through the morning session, I could tell that Steven wanted Eddy to be a tennis star much more than Eddy.

A lack of athleticism wasn’t the cause of Eddy’s failings in tournament competition. I realized rather quickly what was keeping Eddy from attaining the results he was capable of achieving. Although Eddy was a talented ball-striker, he needed a customized development plan to develop the skills essential to becoming an elite athlete.

In our afternoon session, after we bonded a bit, I asked Eddy, “Bro, What are your tennis goals? Where do you see yourself in four years?” Eddy responded, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ll give it a try…if it works out then great. Fed’s life doesn’t look too shabby. I guess I could be a pro like Roger.”

Eddy’s common lackadaisical approach showed interest in the game but lacked commitment, and there’s a big difference between interest and commitment. Athletes merely interested in the sport, train when they feel like it. They train when it conveniently fits into their social calendar. I asked Eddy what was holding him back.  Eddy said, “I don’t know…I just don’t always feel like training.” I added that’s fair because you’ve got to commit to it, to believe in it.” The seed was planted. I simply needed to let it blossom within.

At lunch, I asked Steven if he thought Eddy was committed to excellence. He hesitated and then said, “No but that’s why I brought him cross-country to you. I hear that you’re great at motivating excellence and nurturing that commitment.”

While evaluating Eddy’s hardware (strokes and athleticism) with on-court drills, I began the positive brainwashing process of nurturing his commitment. I reminded Eddy that he had mentioned that his buddies at home were all top 20 in his section. “Yeah, and I’m tired of losing early every tournament and being their stupid cheerleader,” I asked him if he thought he was doing all he could to be the best tennis player possible. He responded, “No, probably not…”

All too often naive athletes want the rewards to materialize before the hard work takes place. I mentioned to Eddy several times throughout our three-day evaluation that is a commitment to excellence means that if he wanted to join his buddies in the top 20, he would have to prioritize his tennis above his social life. Athletes have to train like world-class athletes for years before they ever reach world-class status. I then threw out a couple of goofy life analogies: “You’ve got to chop the wood and build a fire before you feel the heat, right? You’ve got to prepare the soil, plant the seed and work the fields before you can harvest the crop”, right?” Before I could throw out another annoying analogy, Eddy interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah I get it. There are two approaches: Commitment to excellence or acceptance of mediocrity.” “Right! And either way, you’ve got to live with your decision.” I replied.  At that moment, I sensed that the light bulb went off in his head. I’ve got an idea, “Let’s work through it together and commit for 3-months. After 3-months, if it isn’t working for you, then you’re free to chill and play the sport as a hobby. Give the 100% commitment a shot. I bet that if you put in the effort and stick to your customized developmental plan week in and week out, you’ll transform into a top 20 player by year’s end!”

Six weeks later I got a text from Eddy with a photo of him holding up his first USTA trophy. All it said was, “I just had to climb the mountain…then I was able to see the view. Thanks, Coach!”

 

Character Traits- Part 3

Posted on August 4, 2021 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

16. Effort: The amount of energy put into an attempt.

17. Sincerity: The quality of being free from pretense and deceit.

18. Open-Mindedness: The willingness to consider new ideas without prejudice.

19. Unselfishness: The desire to accept the needs of others before your own.

20. Humble: Showing a modest estimate of your importance.

 

So does participation in sports help build praiseworthy character traits? Yes, but an athlete’s character must be first introduced, nurtured, and developed by parents and coaches. The essential character traits demonstrated on-court in competition were first gained off-court. These traits were nurtured by choice …not by chance.