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Tennis Blunders -Part 3

Posted on October 3, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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Avoiding Character Building

Guess who an angry emotional train wreck was as a junior competitor? If you said Andre Agassi, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, and even the iceman Bjorn Borg, then you’re right! Moral excellence is a maturing process. Everyone can compete in a relaxed, happy state, but not everyone chooses to do so. Let’s cover that again. Everyone can compete in a relaxed, happy state, but not everyone chooses to do so!

Often negative behavior has been motor programmed into the player’s routine. It is a comfortable, dirty, old habit. The development of character lies in the ability to first learn to be uncomfortable competing without the negative act. It’s like a stand-up comedian without his props to hide behind. The old props are comfortable.

The insight lies in the understanding that each player has a character choice. Somewhere in their late-teens, tennis greats Borg, Federer, and Nadal were taught a wiser code of conduct and chose to apply it.

 

 

Encouraging Dependency

A serious blunder is “selling” dependence. I’ve seen numerous parents and teaching pros fall into this category. Often parents and coaches live vicariously through their superstars. Their fear of being abandoned by the champ motivates them to develop dependency. I often hear the player’s points of view as they communicate their feelings during their evaluation session. The players live in fear because a parent or coach has insinuated that they were responsible for their child’s success; “I’m the only one who can save you.” or “I don’t ever want to catch you hitting with another pro because they’ll mess up your game!”

Successful national champions have developed the physical, mental, and emotional tools to solve their own problems. It’s our job to assist them in solving their own problems!

 

Here’s what I did as a tennis parent from the time my stepdaughter was 12 years old, attending her first national event.

 

 “Ok, Sarah, this is your event. I’m here to assist you every step of the way. Let’s play the co-pilot game.  Sarah, I can’t drive and read the Google map. Can you please find the way to the airport? Great! Now find the parking structure. What’s our airline? Read the signs and lead the way.  Terrific.

As we de-planed, I would ask Sarah, “Can you follow the signs to baggage claim?”  That was easy.  Now, we’re searching for Alamo rental cars. I wonder what kind of car is in slot #26?  What’s your guess? Oh no… a P.T. Cruiser…Not again!!!  “Sarah, can you read the map and direct us to the hotel?” 

Lastly, we’re going to hit for an hour on the tournament courts so you can sleep easy knowing the surroundings. “Can you co-pilot us to the tournament site?”

Was it easy? Nope.  It was like pulling teeth!  It would have been a hundred times faster and easier if I had made her dependent on me. Did she learn self-reliance? Did she develop confidence in her abilities with the unknown? Did she become an independent thinker? You bet! By age 15, Sarah was flying comfortably, without us, nationally and internationally to compete.

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Nurturing Character Tennis Blunders Part 2

Posted on September 30, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

TENNIS BLUNDERS

Parents Don’t Need Guidance

Would you expect a talented beginner athlete to be a world champion without proper coaching? Not likely. As a parent, plan on seeking out assistance and guidance through this journey.  In today’s world, coaching has moved past the athletic playing fields and into every aspect of life. One of the best-kept secrets of the successful junior tennis champion is a primary tennis parent that is knowledgeable about the tennis developmental process. Parental coaching can be done in person, by phone, in groups, or in private, customized settings. Wonderful skills can be developed through attending seminars, Googling topics of interest on YouTube, accompanying your youngster to college or professional matches, or purchasing instructional DVDs and books.

Serena Williams said her parents learned how to coach her by watching Vic Braden’s instructional videos. Seek out those who can help you make clearer decisions for your child and your family. Education about the process can accelerate your child’s success.

 

Being an Unaccountable Parent

Parental accountability is based on the fact that national tournaments are often held over holiday breaks.  Parents, do you choose to spend Thanksgiving and Easter breaks at home with your extended family and friends, or are you okay spending that time in a hotel out of state? Do you choose to remain home so your child can prepare properly for the winter nationals, or do you choose to go skiing the week before the event? Are your summers spent on the beach or on the tournament trail? While breaks are healthy, a hobbyist parent should only expect hobbyist results.

 

Underestimating the Success Formula

It’s old hat by now. It’s called the 10,000-hour rule.  For approximately ten years, your child should be spending approximately 20 hours per week in tennis-related activities to become a world-class player. Deliberate customization is essential. However, quality is more important than quantity.  On a personal note, my daughter went from a 10-year-old beginner to playing the U.S. Open in 5 years.

Interesting NOTE: The 10,000-hour rule was first applied as far back as 1899. It is applied to all forms of excellence, not just athletics.

 

Ignoring Off-Court Training, Proper Nutrition and Hydration

When your athlete gets fatigued, their movement gets sloppy, their stroke spacing is off, and unforced errors begin to fly off their racket.  Poor decision-making and negative emotions set in.  Often, the actual cause of a child’s emotional breakdown is a lack of fitness. Unfit players do not perform their rituals, they do not spot tendencies and they do not manage their mistakes.  Poor physical fitness manifests in mental and emotional breakdowns. For instance, most juniors go for low percentage shots due to the fact that they are too tired to grind out the point. So is off-court training linked to the mental side?  Absolutely!

Proper hydration and nutrition are also critical in every tennis competitor’s physical, mental, and emotional links. As parents, we have to insist that our players fuel up before battle. Dehydration triggers fatigue, dizziness, headaches, and nausea. Lack of adequate nutrition affects the blood sugar levels in the brain. Improper nutrition and hydration guarantee poor decision-making skills at crunch time.

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TENNIS BLUNDERS: Ignoring Your Child’s Personality and Body Type

Posted on September 26, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

NURTURING CHARACTER BLUNDERS

Parents, please be more concerned about your child’s character than their rankings because junior success is temporary… character is lifelong.

 

Ignoring Your Child’s Personality and Body Type

I mentioned this blunder several times in this book. Your child has a genetic predisposition to excel at a particular style of tennis. A common parental mistake is assuming that your child is wired like you… It is highly likely they have a different brain type, and they see the world and approach tasks differently than you or their coaches.

I’ve found that by understanding each player’s brain type, body type, and personality traits, similar obstacles, skills- efficiencies and deficiencies, frustration tolerance levels, styles of play, and decision-making abilities are evident.

However, a child’s preferred learning style is a product of both their genetic (nature) and environmental (nurture) make-up. So just as a player’s upbringing plays a role in shaping their future, so too do their desires, actions, and results.

 

Often, my students win their first national title and skyrocket their rankings after determining their personality profile and training them accordingly. Their training was systematically customized to their unique brain and body design, and their rankings greatly improved.

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Coming Soon THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TENNIS PARENTING

Posted on September 26, 2022 by in The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

COMING THIS FALL!

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TENNIS PARENTING

In Frank Giampaolo’s series of bestselling tennis books, he uses his 40 years of high-performance coaching experience to write about how parents can help create a positive, fun environment for athletes to maximize their potential at a quicker rate. The Psychology of Tennis Parenting could be his best work yet. This book is filled with real-world insights and application at its finest. Geared towards parents but applicable to coaches and athletes.

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How to Close Out A Match- Part 3

Posted on September 19, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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Scenario Number Three:

Mr. Johnson sends me another 4 page text Saturday afternoon. Essentially claiming that his little Kristin, the best athlete in the tournament, has choked away another match… She was up 5-1 and missed two shots and went off! “She was killing her opponent and then… I don’t know?”

Here is how he described his daughter’s mindless play: fast anger walking, choking, then more choking, racquet cracking, hitting harder and harder and then screaming at herself game after game as the opponent is handed the set 7-5. He writes, “Kristin didn’t even sit during changeovers!”

Solution Three:

First, let’s review choking versus panicking because it is confusing. It’s important to recognize that choking is caused by over-thinking. Dozens of irrelevant contaminants jumble the brain. These include outcome thoughts like: “Who will I play next?”, “What’s my ranking going to jump to?” and “I wonder if I’ll qualify for the Easter bowl after I beat this seed?”

Choking is entertaining irrelevant thoughts during the match instead of the task at hand. What Mr. Johnson described wasn’t over thinking (choking), it’s choking’s evil twin- panicking.

Panicking is the opposite of choking. It’s under thinking. As Kristin’s frustration tolerance level reached its peak, she didn’t think at all. She rushed mindlessly through the rough patch hoping that the quicker she played the quicker she would get out of this bad situation. Unfortunately, the opposite holds true.

 

An analogy to panicking is attempting to get off an iced over road as quick as possible. The faster you move, the more you fall. Slowing down is required…the same goes for panicking in a tennis match.

 

In this panicked state of mind, slowing down to a crawl is the answer. It would serve Kristin to develop pre-set protocols to slow down play and establish her very own between point rituals and changeover rituals. After all, the negative behavior Mr. Johnson described was happening in-between points. Panicking is an easy fix if Kristin is willing to re-focus her attention on the practice court. If your child occasionally goes brain dead and panics in matches, I suggest meeting with their coach and organizing practice sets where your child’s only focus is on their between point rituals and changeover rituals. The art of closing out matches requires players to stop avoiding head to head competition on the practice court. Closing out sets and matches is a learned behavior. It requires dedicated practice. Remember the old saying “Practice doesn’t make perfect…practice makes permanent.”  So, if you want your youngster to be permanently excellent at closing out matches- customize their training accordingly.

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How to Close Out A Match- Part 2

Posted on September 18, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

Scenario Number Two:

Steve is a super talented junior. He has not one but two pro level weapons: A 120 mph serve and a killer forehand. When Steve sticks to his “A” plan of crushing serves and hunting forehands, as often as possible, he is unstoppable. His tactical plan mirrors an old student of mine Sam Querrey.

Steve’s issues lie in the fact that his natural physical talent is light years above his mental and emotional skill sets. After gaining a comfortable 4-1 lead, Steve often loses focus on the mission at hand and once again begins to change a winning game plan. This time it is for the sake of variation.

His thoughts race to “Yeah but…if I keep on killing winners with my forehand, he’ll get used to it.”  So, out comes Steve’s reckless drop shots and thoughtless shot selection. He is now in a 4-4 dog fight and it’s all because of his misuse of variation. Steve’s reckless play has reawakened the opponent’s self-confidence.

 

“Steve has successfully deflated his energy while inflated the opponent’s energy.”

 

Now his opponent has recognizes he’s playing a “mental midget.” The opponent is now recommitted to winning this match and is 100% focused to do so.

 

Solution Two:

Variation isn’t always bad. If losing to a better hard hitting baseliner, applying variations is a smart tactical plan. In that situation, mixing the speed, spins and trajectories would pull the opponent out of their comfort zone.

In Steve’s situation, he has the match firmly in control and uses variations because he’s overthinking himself out of the match. Steve’s battle isn’t against the opponent, it’s with his own wandering mind and lack of concentrated effort. Steve’s solution to battle his sloppy play is to ignite a new inner-game.

His mission after building a lead is to play what I call: Mega Tennis: A game in which Steve is to focus his attention on winning 3 points in a row with his same old boring winners. He simply re-challenges himself to replay the game again and again- winning three points in a row. As he is re-focused in the “now,” he’ll actually stops applying reckless variation and wins the set without even thinking about the set.

Mega tennis assists in not allowing an immature competitor to complicate routine matches. This becomes incredibly meaningful in conserving energy for the tougher rounds later in the event.

 

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How to Close Out A Match- Part 1

Posted on September 13, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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HOW TO CLOSE OUT A MATCH

 

Imagine that it’s a hot summer day, 102 in the shade.  Every electrical device is on to capacity inside your house. There’s so much stress on the electrical system that it blows a fuse. “Click” … lights out, AC‘s off… everything shuts down.

Under extremely stressful conditions, uneducated junior tennis players do the same. When a junior tennis player over stresses their emotional system, the same total shut down occurs.  Stress plays havoc on their psyche.

 

As contaminants jumble the brain, simple motor programs are lost in the inner chatter. Basic functions like “move your feet” and “just breathe” begin to cease because the brain is cluttered with dozens of irrelevant thoughts. Well-rehearsed performance patterns and plans are nowhere to be found. Heck, some players are so unknowingly stressed they can’t even remember their name.

Below are three real life scenarios and their solutions to help your child identify why they’re not closing out matches.

 

Scenario Number One:

Molly is a strong starter. She routinely performs her aggressive baseline style of play as she opens the set with a 4-1 lead. Once a lead is established, the trouble sinks in. Molly gains the lead by keeping her foot firmly on the gas pedal with a “play to win” attitude. As she begins to see the finish line, she takes her foot off the gas and unknowingly slips into a “play not to lose” mentality. Her amazing ground strokes dramatically change from 80 mph with extreme depth to 50 mph balls landing mid court in the perfect strikes zone for her opponent!

Her thoughts race from “Ok, you got the lead. Now just don’t give it back.” to “The last 5 times I had a 4-1 lead I choked ….so, just be safe and don’t choke another one away.” Molly unknowingly gets tight, begins to push and once again, blows the lead and hands the seed the match.

Solution One:

The system of “playing to win” with Molly’s foot heavy on the gas was working brilliantly. She was winning 66% of the points and controlling the match. Taking her foot off the gas and playing it safe actually changes the exact winning style that earned her the lead. The answer for Molly is learning not to be afraid to lose with her “A” game plan. If her “A” game plan is winning 2 out 3 points- it is a winner!

Sadly, by slipping into her “now be safe…don’t blow it” mode, Molly is elongating the actual drama she is trying so desperately to avoid. Her probable victory turns into a probable slow torturous death. I strongly suggest that when you gain a lead, have the guts to take the match with the same gusto that was used to build the comfortable lead.

 Playing to win for the entire match would earn Molly approximately 70% of her sets. But she doesn’t. Why? Because, Molly doesn’t deeply trust her attacking style of play. Instead she chooses to repeat her reoccurring nightmare – which is switching to playing it safe after gaining a lead. With this mentality, she is earning a 30% winning record. Molly has to have the guts to play to win.

So why does she play so safe? In the younger age divisions, Molly could push and retrieve her way to victory as the under developed opponents simply self-destructed. However, at the higher levels, top seeds have not earned their high ranking by choking against a lesser player. Molly needs to believe in her game and play to win – essentially wrestle the trophy away from the top seed. It would serve Molly well to “over cook” under stress versus “under cook” with her shots.

 

“Molly should play practice sets starting at 2-2 and rehearse over cooking in the later stages of each game and set.”

 

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Practice Sessions Dramas- Part 2

Posted on September 5, 2022 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

 

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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frank

 

PRACTICE SESSION DRAMAS

 

QUESTION: Even after a practice set, the first thing my Dad asks is, “Did you win?”

 

Frank: I must say, parents being too outcome oriented is the number one stressor that talented juniors report. This seemingly simple question, did you win, is sure to grow only one thing…the athlete’s performance anxieties. From your child’s perspective, this is seen as an interrogation. Asking such a question stems from the mindset of uneducated, old schooled tennis parents.

 

“Champions are performance oriented, not outcome oriented.”

 

The majority of the very best professionals on the planet only win a handful of tournaments each year. That means that even they go home a loser most weeks. They seek improvement, effort and playing at their optimal performance level over stressing about having to win every day. In sunny Southern California, a typical girls 14’s designated open tournament may have as many as 250 participants. Only one player goes home the winner and two hundred forty nine go home losers. Yes, everyone’s primary objective is to win. Parents have to lead the way in focusing on performance goals. The players who can focus on the process are controlling the controllables versus worrying about issues out of their control.

 

“Control the controllables and let the uncontrollables go.”

 

It’s important to note that children aren’t born naturally obsessing about the outcome of a tennis match. It’s a learned behavior. The parental job is to shift this behavioral focus. Remember the previous question regarding the old school parent that didn’t want their child to smile and laugh? The same performance anxieties are magnified by a parent who only cares about winning. It’s the parent’s primary role to DE-STRESS their athlete. By injecting worry and fear into every practice session, an ill-informed parent adds stress that ultimately increases muscle contractions, decreases fluid movement, impairs judgment and reduces the athlete’s problem solving performance skills. Athletes improve at a quicker rate in a calm relaxed mental state.

 

“Neurological studies prove that worrying about the need to always win sabotages any real chance of reaching peak performance.”

 

Parents and coaches interested in maximizing potential at a quicker rate and dramatically increasing the family’s enjoyment, should flip the question, “Did you win?’ with more constructive statements like: “You inspire me; I wish I could have been able to watch you today.”, “How do you feel you played?”, “Did you hit your performance goals?”, “Did you have fun?”, “Would you like me to go over your match logs with you?”, “Is there anything I can do to help you achieve your tennis goals?”

 

 

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Losing Versus Getting Beat

Posted on September 1, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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LOSING VERSUS GETTING BEAT

 

For every 64 talented juniors that enter a six round tournament draw- all 64 have the same outcome goal: “I want to win!” Unfortunately 63 of those players go home losers. Although the nature of the draw format dictates only one champion, not all 63 lose- some of them get beat. There’s a big difference between getting beat and losing a match. Being defeated should be viewed from a new perspective.

 

“Attempting to never make a bad shot stops your athlete’s flow of great shots.  Great winners and correct errors come from the same relaxed, free zone.”

 

Let’s look deeper into the cause of the loss:

In my book, being outplayed by someone is getting beat. It is absolutely fine to get beat by someone who is:

  • Executing their best style of play.
  • Performing their best strategies & tactics.
  • Working harder.
  • Controlling the mega points.
  • Choosing to utilize the rituals they’ve developed.

 

In the above situation, the opponent may actually deserved the victory. On the other side of getting beat, is losing. It is much more painful to lose a match when:

  • Your child is more talented but their opponent is a harder worker.
  • Your child chooses not to employ their best style of play or falls into their opponent’s style of play.
  • Your child makes too many reckless, unforced errors.
  • Your child is too passive to compete at crunch time.
  • Your child doesn’t bother to spot and attack the opponent’s weaknesses.

 

Making your opponent beat you while applying your best style of play is actually a win-win situation. It’s what I call a mental and emotional commitment. When your player is confident and committed to playing their patterns and tactics, they often beat even the top seeds. But even if they don’t win the match, they’ll have no regrets. They will have attempted their best systems and that is all that can be expected.

Parents, please promote that learning to win or getting beat by confidently playing their best style of play is learning to “compete” correctly.

 

“There is a difference between missing the actual shot the moment demands and missing random, reckless shots.”

 

Parents and coaches must acknowledge that by taking the risk to compete, your child will likely lose in almost every high level tennis tournament. Parents must reinforce that losing the correct way, playing the game systems they have been trained, is their best shot at beating the best players.

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Practice Session Dramas- Part 1

Posted on August 24, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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PRACTICE SESSION DRAMAS

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Please don’t mistake busy work with progression. If your child seeks athletic royalty status, it’s the parent’s responsibility to be aware who is actually on their child’s practice court training them (head coach vs rookie assistant), what the daily focus is (stroke repetition, movement, mental or emotional training), and how their athlete is being trained (large group setting, semi-private) day-in and day-out.

 

“The practice court is where dreams are either dreamt or actually developed.”

QUESTION: Why does our coach inject laughter into training? I’m old school, I want my child working…not laughing.

 

Frank: Training with laughter maximizes athletic potential and happiness at a faster rate than the old school drill sergeant delivery system. The old school approach was based on conformity. Its outdated system was to place unique humans in a line, depress creativity, disapprove originality and avoid fun. “Do it my way…because I said so” was their battle cry!

Children are naturally diverse. In previous sections we’ve touched upon personality profiling. The role of the teacher is to facilitate each individual’s unique learning system. A great coach offers structure based on the child’s individual learning preference …with the freedom to laugh and explore.  Coaches are hired by you to support, stimulate and engage your athlete and not to stifle them. If you’re still not convinced, read on.

“Neurological studies prove that laughter helps relax muscle tension and calm nerves.”

 

Which student is more likely to engage or disengage? Is it the repressed individual who is afraid to even smile… or the stimulated individual eager to participate?

The task is to improve. Achieving that task requires acceptance and commitment and most children these days are simply too smart to accept and commit to conforming to that old school culture of education.  Modern coaches that include joyful encouragement into their training regimen awaken optimism and curiosity. Once that spark is lit, maximizing potential takes place.

Laughter decreases stress hormones and triggers endorphins – the body’s natural feel good chemicals.  Adding humor to stressful events, such as match play, will help the athlete enjoy the process of learning and the tournament battles. Playing in the zone demands a calm and stress free outlook.
Added Bonus: Laughing is a terrific abdominal work out. Hello six pack!

 

Be aware, if your athlete has an old school drill sergeant coach or parent. They could actually be the anchor that’s holding your child back from accelerated growth.

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