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Confidence Stems From Culture

Posted on October 22, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
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Confidence Stems From Culture

“Parents, your thoughts and emotions are highly contagious.”

The parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence. Parents can help prepare athletes for pressure by priming confidence through solution-based optimistic dialog. They should also model positive life skills daily.

Parents would be wise to nurture their athlete’s software (mental and emotional skills) as much as they expect a hired coach to develop their child’s hardware (strokes and athleticism).

Let’s look at a typical week. We all get 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That’s 168 accountable hours. If a high-performance athlete is training their hardware with their coaches for approximately 20 hours a week, how many hours are left for parents to assist in the software development? The remaining 148 hours a week offer wonderful opportunities for mental and emotional growth.

Being clutch at crunch time is a learned skill. Understanding how to thrive versus wilt under pressure is developed by master coaches and master tennis parents. Another great question parents should ask themselves:

Is someone routinely mentoring the mental & emotional protocols needed to handle pressure in competition? If not, consistent disappointment is sure to shadow most upcoming tournament competitions.

Parents, if you’re not developing incredible character traits, a moral compass, and essential life skills, who is? Preparing for pressure requires the development of the athlete’s software skills.

 

Parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence.

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The Culture of Belief

Posted on October 19, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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The Culture of Belief

 

“If you keep working this hard, you’ll be playing at the US Open!”

This was my actual weekly battle cry to my stepdaughter. By the age of 15, Sarah was competing at the US Open. The typical parental pre-match pep talk sounds like this: “Today’s so important! Don’t blow it again! You have to win!”

Belief stems from habitually using life skill terms such as effort, fight, resiliency, courage, persistence, and focus. Parents should routinely apply these lure words to subliminally planting the seeds needed to be clutch under pressure.

Molding belief is similar to molding memories. Do you remember hearing a childhood story throughout your youth that actually never really happened the way it’s told? These embellished accounts spun by family members eventually become real memories. Similarly, parents can apply a form of positive brainwashing to motivate athletes to believe in themselves in the heat of the battle. Children are impressionable. It’s within the tennis parent’s job description to convince their athletes that they can and will succeed.

 

Nurturing life skills and positive character traits should be every parent’s daily battle cry.

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Molding Their Inner Voice

Posted on October 17, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Molding Their Inner Voice

 

“Parents beware: Your thoughts and words become your child’s beliefs, and their beliefs become their actions.”

Leading into competition, great parental dialog from a non-tennis playing parent includes de-stressing and confidence-building banter. High IQ tennis parents can review software solutions. These performance reminders are both mental and emotional. Mental triggers to discuss may include the athlete’s “A” game plans, contingency plans, their script of essential patterns, and opponent profiling.

Emotional triggers to discuss before matches may include solutions to performance anxieties, how to handle “creative line callers,” how to stop self-destructive performances, and how to close out a lead. Optimistic self-coaching in match play stems from molding the athlete’s inner voice. It is the counterforce needed to reverse the habitual pessimistic internal dialog that sabotages peak performance.

 

Taming the critic that lives inside the athlete’s parents is essential in preparing the athlete for pressure. This parental metamorphose doesn’t happen overnight.

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Is The Parent a Source of External Pressure?

Posted on October 13, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Is The Parent a Source of External Pressure?

 

“It’s no secret that a large portion of pressure comes unknowingly from tennis parents.”

The tennis parent is the second most important entity in the athlete’s entourage (The athlete being the most important.)

The parents are the CEO, the manager of the entourage of coaches, and the facilitator of the player’s customized developmental plan. With responsibility comes pressure. This is especially true when the parent is bankrolling the journey. All too often, tennis parents become overbearing yet don’t see themselves as the leading source of frustration.

Communicating with an adolescent competitive athlete isn’t easy. A relaxed demeanor versus a stressed appearance matters deeply. In fact, current studies show that approximately 7% of communication is verbal, while 93% is made up of tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.

While it’s natural for parents to be on high alert for any possible signs of danger, it’s essential to understand that the athlete needs a calming influence.

 

Parental pressure can be both real and imagined. In the end, it’s the perception of the athlete that matters.

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Ten Questions Parents Should Ask Their Athletes

Posted on October 10, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Ten Questions Parents Should Ask Their Athletes

 

“Ask…don’t tell.”

Let’s begin with identifying the number one question parents should NOT ask, “Did you win?” This question pulls the athlete into an outcome-oriented mindset, instead of being growth-minded. The art of communication with athletes includes promoting accountability and problem-solving. Commanding your child what to think is a sure-fire way to encourage disconnection. It’s our job to show them where to look, but not to tell them what they see. Teach your athlete to analyze their performance and to research solutions which promotes growth and retention.

Questions Parents Should Ask:

  1. How was your preparation?
  2. How do you feel about your performance?
  3. What worked well?
  4. What can you improve?
  5. What did you learn?
  6. How else would you have handled that?
  7. What would you do differently next time?
  8. Are you satisfied with your level of play?
  9. How was your composure under pressure?
  10. Did you thank your coaches?

Competitive tennis is incredibly emotional. Parents, it’s within your job description to share your calmness versus partaking in their chaos. Your child needs to hear, “I want to hear your opinion. I believe in you. I’ll always be here to help you.”

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Understanding Internal Pressure

Posted on October 8, 2019 by in Personality Profile/Learning Preference, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Understanding Internal Pressure

 

“Thriving under pressure requires exposure- not avoidance.”

Teaching a junior competitor to handle internal pressure is a complicated affair. It greatly depends on their genetic predisposition. Some personality profiles are wired to overthink, worry, and stress, while others are natural-born competitors. If your athlete wilts under pressure, this is for you!

A solution that will help athletes to become comfortable in match play is replacing the mindless grooving of strokes in the academy with actually competing in real practice matches. Organize your athlete’s training sessions to focus on competitive, simulated stressful situations on a daily basis.

After a solid foundation is built, redundant technical training is counter-productive. Preparing for pressure demands exposing the athlete to more live ball flexible skills training. This allows them to make the software mistakes and learn from them on the practice court long before tournament play occurs.

A second solution in preparing for pressure is to avoid always enrolling your athlete in events above their actual match play level. I recommend also registering your athlete into lower level, winnable tournaments. This will allow them to gain the much-needed experience of playing longer at their peak performance level six matches in a row. Athletes need to routinely experience what it’s like to compete in the semis and finals of events.

Athletes need to become accustomed to the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms and cures found in real match play. Only with experience will they learn how to perform under pressure.

 

Parents, it’s your job to fluctuate your athlete’s exposure to the different levels of competition at the correct time. Their tournament scheduling should be customized to their current needs.

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Teach the Value of Keeping Promises with Yourself

Posted on October 6, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Teach the Value of Keeping Promises with Yourself

 

“False promises are a form of self-sabotage.”

Confidence is built when athletes know they can rely on themselves. The top contenders that I’ve had the privilege of working with routinely matched their intentions and their actions on a daily basis. Procrastination and excuses are left to the weaker players. The fragile athletes avoid keeping promises.

Improvement typically stems from changing behavior. And changing behavior requires a commitment to training. Athletes choosing not to keep their commitments with themselves are destined to suffer when the pressure begins.

Athletes who have problems with matching their words with their actions would be wise to commit to a simple 30-day challenge. The task is to complete a 5-minute nightly journal. Listing five of their tennis-related daily accomplishments that will significantly assist them in staying on track.

Often junior players say, I want to be a top player. But their actions say I want to be a normal kid. It is important to remind athletes that they cannot be a Champion and a normal kid.  They have to pick one because the pathway to becoming a Champion is far different than the path for normal kids.

 

Keeping promises makes the athlete … Breaking promises breaks the athlete.

 

 

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True Happiness Stems From Progress

Posted on October 3, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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True Happiness Stems From Progress

 

“Seek daily progress versus daily perfection.”

As crazy as it sounds, true happiness doesn’t always come from winning. It comes from performing at one’s peak potential under pressure.

Did you ever win a match against a player whose ability was levels below yours? It wasn’t truly satisfying, was it? Did you ever compete against a player whose ability was several levels above yours and you played amazingly, only to lose in a tightly contested battle? Remember walking away proud of your performance?

Choosing to feel passionate about performance as opposed to the outcome opens the doors to progress. Only with constant progress is consistent victory insight.

Let’s do a comparative analysis: 32 girls play a weekend soccer match and 16 players go home losers, and 16 go home winners. The same weekend 32 girls play a junior tennis tournament and one player wins, and 31 go home losers.

 

Tennis families that are only happy if they win the whole event are not likely enjoying the journey.

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Encourage Smiling, Laughing, and Having Fun

Posted on October 1, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Encourage Smiling, Laughing, and Having Fun

 

“Adding ranking pressure is sure to add the exact performance anxieties, great coaches
work hard to avoid.”

Parents, if you make the junior ranking race too important, you’ll quickly see your athlete’s performance diminish. When rankings are seen as more important than fun, athletes suffer. Preparing for pressure involves creating a culture of gratitude and enjoyment. Athletes who perform at their peak level in competition are first and foremost having fun. Enjoyment is the secret ingredient that assists the athlete when they need it the most.

De-stressing the athlete comes from promoting growth and weekly progress over the outcomes of events. After events, routinely discuss 3 successful aspects of your athlete’s performance and 3 improvement goals. Win or lose, celebrate the performance goals hit, and then get to work on the development of the athlete. According to brain function analysis in sports, performing calm when it matters the most is a creative, right-brain dominant affair. Athletes pulled into their editing left-brain typically suffer due to overthinking under pressure.

 

Parents, coaches, or athletes who make a match too important witness the athlete’s ability disappear. When the outcome overshadows the enjoyment, catastrophe strikes.

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Discuss Conflict Resolution and Fear of Confrontation

Posted on September 29, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Discuss Conflict Resolution and Fear of Confrontation

 

“Solving problems begins by confronting problems.”

When athletes are expected to be the competitor, the score-keeper, the linesman, and the umpire conflicts will exist. “Being judged” can bring out the best and worst in all of us. Often opponents who believe that they don’t have the physical tools to win employ gamesmanship to sabotage their opponent’s level of play. There are many gamesmanship situations that athletes need to be aware of, and it is the job description of the coaching staff to address these scenarios. It is also important to teach them to look systematically beyond the incident.

Often, it is not the specific opponent’s gamesmanship tactic but your player’s response to the drama that causes the emotional break the opponent seeks. Preparing for pressure includes how an athlete responds to confrontational situations and whether or not they can remain focused on their performance goals and avoid unraveling.

Covert gamesmanship in tournament play is also applied when the crafty opponent spots the nonverbal clues found in our athletes’ fear of confrontation. If your athletes have a fear of confrontation, address why standing up for themselves versus enabling the “bully” is in their best interest. Nurturing timid athletes to stand up for themselves improves their confidence as they learn to solve problems.

In the intermediate levels, emotionally weak competitors assume that confrontation is bad. If they disagree, the opponent won’t like them and therefore not want to play with them in the future. This is a false assumption. In tennis, the opposite holds true. Opponents that can easily bully and beat your athlete don’t return their calls. Athletes that stand up to gamesmanship and triumph, not only earn respect, they also benefit by getting to choose their future practice match opponents and doubles partners.

 

Confidence is earned by standing up to conflicts.

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