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Mastery Requires Leaving One’s Comfort Zone

Posted on August 4, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Mastery requires leaving one’s comfort zone

 

“Pushing through the walls of fear is the path towards mastery.”

Mastering requires the athlete to accept that leaving their comfort zone is often uncomfortable because it forces the athlete to punch through their walls of disbelief and doubt. Mastering one’s own emotions comes before mastering the competitive game. The mental barrier of not believing in themselves is what keeps most athletes from attempting new skills and ultimately competing well under stress.

It’s within the job description of the athlete’s sphere of influence to help navigate the athlete through their walls of self-doubt, fear, and disbelief.

Progress is found on the other side of each athlete’s invisible walls that are holding them hostage. Gaining mastery of the physical, mental, and emotional skills require consistent targeted training and the enjoyment of the process. Mastery takes place only after thousands of hours of deliberate practice.

 

Mastery isn’t a function of sheer athleticism. It’s a function of courage, deliberate focus, perseverance, and work ethics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mastering requires the athlete to accept that leaving their comfort zone is often uncomfortable because it forces the athlete to punch through their walls of disbelief and doubt. Mastering one’s own emotions comes before mastering the competitive game. The mental barrier of not believing in themselves is what keeps most athletes from attempting new skills and ultimately competing well under stress.

It’s within the job description of the athlete’s sphere of influence to help navigate the athlete through their walls of self-doubt, fear, and disbelief.

Progress is found on the other side of each athlete’s invisible walls that are holding them hostage. Gaining mastery of the physical, mental, and emotional skills requires consistent targeted training and the enjoyment of the process. Mastery takes place only after thousands of hours of deliberate practice.

 

Mastery isn’t a function of sheer athleticism. It’s a function of courage, deliberate focus, perseverance, and work ethics.

 

 

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Encourage Smiling, laughing, and having fun

Posted on August 3, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s soon to be released book, Preparing for Pressure. Click Here To Pre-order through Amazon

Encourage Smiling, laughing, and having fun

Preparing final cover 3D

“Adding ranking pressure is sure to add the exact performance anxieties, great coaches
work hard to avoid.”

Parents, if you make the junior ranking race too important, you’ll quickly see your athlete’s performance diminish. When rankings are seen as more important than fun, athletes suffer. Preparing for pressure involves creating a culture of gratitude and enjoyment.  Athletes who perform at their peak level in competition are first and foremost having fun. Enjoyment is the secret ingredient that assists the athlete when they need it the most.

De-stressing the athlete comes from promoting growth and weekly progress over the outcomes of events. After events, routinely discuss 3 successful aspects of your athlete’s performance and 3 improvement goals. Win or lose, celebrate the performance goals hit, and then get to work on the development of the athlete. According to brain function analysis in sports, performing calm when it matters the most is a creative, right-brain dominant affair. Athletes pulled into their editing left-brain typically suffer due to overthinking under pressure.

 

Parents, coaches, or athletes who make a match too important witness the athlete’s ability disappear. When the outcome overshadows the enjoyment, catastrophe strikes.

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Confidence Bias: The False Reality- Part 2

Posted on July 31, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Preparing for Pressure – my book to be released on August 20th. Click Here to pre-order your copy.

 

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Over-confidence Vs Under-Confidence

 

“Under-confidence in match play is often a result of false-confidence in preparation.”

 

Let’s look deeper into a pre-tournament conversation with our friend Cocky Craig:
Frank: “Craig, Did you review your audio tapes/mental rehearsals?
Craig: “Nah…, I’m good.”
Frank: “Craig, Did you play your practice matches this week?
Craig: “I forgot to call-em in time, and they already had plans.”
Frank: “Craig, Did you do your off-court cardio routine?”
Craig: “No, I’m sore from last Mondays hit. I didn’t want to get injured.”
Signs of Over-Confidence in Athletes:
  • Avoids Pre-Match Preparation
  • Avoids Off-Court Training
  • Lacks Secondary Strokes
  • Avoids Playing Sets
  • Unrealistic Outcome Goals
Signs of Appropriate Confidence in Athletes:
  • Grit
  • Relaxed Breathing
  • Millisecond Problem Solving Skills
  • Perseverance
  • Resiliency
  • Determination
  • Smiling
Signs of Under-Confidence in Athletes:
  • Choking/Panicking
  • Shallow/Heavy Breathing
  • Impaired Memory
  • Anger/Indifference
  • Tight Muscle Contractions
  • Impulsive-Irrational Decision Making
  • Pessimism

Confidence fortifies… but overconfidence and
under-confidence destroys.

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Confidence Bias: The False Reality-Part 1

Posted on July 29, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Preparing for Pressure – my book to be released on August 20th. Click Here to pre-order your copy.

 

Preparing final cover 3D

“Every athlete feels pressure; it is how they’ve been nurtured to deal with it that counts.“

I find athletes are far more willing to groove fundamental strokes than to develop the skills necessary for competition. The often debilitating high-pressure scenario athlete’s face during competition is remedied with deliberate mental and emotional training. Athletes aren’t born competitive tennis experts. Performing their best when they need it the most is nurtured.

The US Navy SEAL’s motto, “We don’t rise to the occasion…we sink to the level of our training,” best describes performing under pressure.

Confidence Bias: The False Reality

“Pre-match over-confidence leads to match-day under-confidence.”

Athletes and parents often have skewed opinions of their competitive skill levels. Is it because Molly, once held her own against a much higher level opponent in a practice set in 2019? Or maybe because Mrs. Johnson watches her son Zack hit beautiful groundstrokes while his coach feeds balls right into his strike zone for the entire lesson. These false leaders cause skewed opinions in parents and athletes.

Confidence bias leads to an inaccurate belief in one’s true competitive skill sets. The concern with over-confidence is that the athlete is positive that they have all the skills necessary to compete supremely without actually ever training those skills. False reality result in devastating losses and blame games. The opposite, under-confidence, bias also wreaks havoc under pressure. Some well-trained athletes suffer from their lack of confidence in competition; harboring unjustified negative beliefs or nurtured undermining pessimistic viewpoints. Either way, their lack of self-esteem seriously affects their performance.

The good news is that with proper software development, false confidence from both the parents and the athlete can be re-wired. Re-routing inner dialog through self-coaching is a great start. Athletes who suffer from confidence bias would be wise to trade in some of their hours grooving groundstrokes and replace them with solution-based software sessions.

Preparing for pressure includes the awareness of the athlete’s confidence bias. Allowing false belief systems leads to future anguish.

  “Come tournament day false confidence sabotages.”

 

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Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 2

Posted on July 25, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

Sharpening Healthier Communicationsoft science

Successfully communicating the facts is highly dependent on WHAT message is being delivered and HOW the message is being delivered. The following list offers eight techniques I recommend applying to communicate effectively:

  • Intertwine sports science facts with personal, emotional storytelling.
  • Impart humor within a conversational tone to bond the relationship.
  • Avoid a distancing style with an elitist attitude and academic language.
  • Use inclusive pronouns like “We all need to…”
  • Apply cadences, rhythms, and dramatic pauses to accentuate meaning.
  • Vary their volume from a scream to a whisper to deepen the message.
  • Pull listeners in by modifying the pace of delivery from excited and fast to dramatic and slow.
  • Match and mirror the listener to make them more comfortable.

Great communicators presenting in groups or one-on-one have developed their presentation power. Armed with a full toolbox of delivery methods, they trade in intimidating, interrogating and dictating with sharing everyday experiences to engage the audience-which is the heart of genuinely connecting.

 

I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?

Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:

  • I love watching you play!
  • I’m so proud of you.
  • I’m impressed by your skills.
  • I’m so grateful to be your parent.
  • You are so brave.
  • It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on court.
  • You are so creative and skillful.
  • I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
  • It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
  • I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
  • I admire your courage to compete.
  • Your optimism is contagious- I love when you smile.
  • This is my favorite part of the week.
  • I love being your parent and/or coach.

Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system.  Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)

All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.

The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.

 

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Dalai Lama

 

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Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 1

Posted on July 23, 2019 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

Sharpening Healthier Communicationsoft science

 

It’s dinner time at the Klein’s house. Mr. Klein and his daughter Wendy spent the day at a USTA level 3 girls 16’s event. Wendy was seeded #4 in the tournament. Her 9:00 am match went terribly wrong. Wendy’s serve percentages were catastrophically low and as a result, she suffered an embarrassing first-round loss.

Later that night at the dinner table the conversation quickly escalated from small talk to another tennis-related screaming match. As they passed the potatoes, another family dinner was ruined.  Mr. Klein wished he had an instruction manual for these heated exchanges.

Psychologists researching communication offer a concept called the Four-Sides Model. The theory states that Mr. Klein’s initial comment “Honey, your serve was really off today.” exposed four possible ways Wendy could accept the data:

  • As an impersonal factual stat.
  • Insights about Mr. Klein’s feelings.
  • As a personal underlining insult towards Wendy.
  • As an appeal for improvement.

The message Mr. Klein was intentionally trying to convey isn’t necessarily what was perceived by Wendy. Mr. Klein’s statement “Honey, your serve was really off today.” led to a whirlwind of problems between him and his daughter. This, in turn, spiraled into the silent treatment from his wife because once again their family harmony was disrupted.

For Mr. Klein, the factual data and appeal for improvement were the only reason for the statement. Wendy’s interpretation of his statement was polar opposite. Wendy felt awful because she believed that she had let her parents and coaches down. She also concluded that her father’s statement about her serve implied that she was not working hard enough and that she was a failure.

 

“Communication is less about what is being said and more about how the words are decoded by the listener.”

 

As coaches and parents communicate with their athlete, the athlete’s personality profile acts as a filter as they decode the information. Some athletes are wired to accept and enjoy the analysis of cold hard facts while others are wired to overlook the facts and instead zone into the emotional climate of the conversations. Each athlete connects the dots and paints the picture they choose to hear. An individual’s personality profile determines how one communicates. (We will interpret personality profiles in greater detail in coming chapters.)

Is state of the art instruction about the instructor’s proficiency in performing drills, or is it about the instructor’s ability to connect with their student? Communicating above or below the digestion rate of the student is ineffective. While tennis knowledge and drilling efficiency are important, I believe a master teacher connects to the student and monitors the rate at which each student digests information. As we saw with Wendy and her father, the message received within the dialog is much more than the facts.

As I researched how to sharpen my communication skills, I realized that the way in which information is presented influences the outcome. I learned to focus on communicating honestly and with authenticity, but also to consider stressing or de-stressing the learning environment based on the energy in the room.

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Selecting a Tennis Coach

Posted on July 20, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Facts to Consider When Selecting a Pro

Finding a Pro is easy. Finding the right Pro will require more thought and leg work. You may be using different types of Pros for different reasons. Below are a few insider tips to help you hire your entourage of coaches:

  • In every region, only a very small percentage of pros actually teach the top players. (There are very big differences between teachers and recruiters.)
  • Look for a coach who’s enjoying what they do, it’s contagious.
  • Seek out a Pro that is so busy, that they don’t need you.
  • The 10,000-hour rule applies! Being a master coach is a learned experience.
  • Seek out a Pro who understands your child’s unique Brain and Body Type (Genetic Predisposition).
  • Make sure the coach is asking questions, customizing and targeting their lessons.
  • Ask every player that beats your kid, “Great match…who is your coach? Where do you train?”
  • Ask a prospective coach, “We’ve heard great things about you, may we come and observe a few of your lessons?”
  • Pay the coach to chart a match and devise his game plan for improvement. Meet regarding his observations and suggestions.
  • Ask for a resume and who they trained under. (As a teacher- not as a player.)
  • Look for a coach that encourages independent thinking versus dependent thinking.
  • While there are exceptions, a former ATP/WTA challenger player does not always translate into a great teacher. The most successful tennis coaches were not the most successful tour players.
  • Be wary of a Pro that discourages you from hitting with other Pro’s, hitters or trainers!

 

SPECIAL NOTE: To avoid confusion, employ one coach per job at any given time. Two different coaches employed to fix a serve may prove to be extremely confusing for your child. Conflicting information and battling egos spells trouble!

 

“It often proves beneficial to secretly observe a coach or academies without the coaching staff knowing you are a future client.  This experience will provide you with an honest assessment of their program.”

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The Formula for Achieving Results- Part 2

Posted on July 18, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

The Formula for Achieving Resultsfrank

Insight 4: Focus on controlling the controllables versus focusing on the uncontrollables. In the competitive moment, is your athlete able to change past issues or forecast future issues? No, during competition, your athlete is only able to control the controllable – which is the present task at hand.

Parental focus should be on the effort and let go of results. Excellent physical, mental and emotional effort for the duration should be the entourage’s mission.

 

“Remember, there is a significant difference between excellence and perfection. Excellent effort is controllable. Perfection is a lie.”

 

Insight 5: Seek to educate your children to strive for excellence, not perfection. The effort is in the process which will obtain winning results -not perfect results.

Your child’s success begins with preparing their character for the process of improvement. Only by achieving continuous improvement will your athlete be prepared when opportunity knocks. Unfortunately, many juniors get great opportunities but fail to capitalize, not because their lucky shorts were in the wash, but because they simply weren’t prepared.

 

Insight 6: Ask your athlete to complete a daily focus journal to assist them in self-coaching. Which of their components are weakest? Why? What would they suggest they could do differently to improve this weakness? The process of improvement needs a plan.

What drives your athlete to actually document their successes in their daily focus journal? What motivates them to wake up and put in the hard work? The answer is their moral compass, also known as their character. It’s their honest relationship and dialog with themselves that allows them to achieve their goals.

Insight 7: Character skills are life skills that parents can focus on daily. They include personal performance enhancers such as effort, dedication, time management, perseverance, resilience, and optimism. They also include personal ethics such as honesty, appreciation, loyalty, trustworthiness, kindness, unselfishness and respect. Parental coaching starts here.

 

Let’s review. The formula for parents to assist in skyrocketing their athlete’s chances of achieving championship results is to begin with the character skills needed to implement their deliberate, customized developmental plan. An organized plan will be the foundation of the athletes accelerated growth. This is how you maximize your child’s potential as the quickest rate.

 

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The Formula for Achieving Results- Part 1

Posted on July 16, 2019 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

The Formula for Achieving Results

All too often, competitive parents and athletes have dreams they mistake for goals. The disconnect starts with confusing dreams with goals. A dream is only a goal if it has an organized plan. For example, when I ask naturally talented athletes about their goals, they most often answer with uncontrollable outcome dreams. Such as: being ranked top in the nation, winning the state championship, receiving an NCAA D-1 athletic scholarship or playing pro ball.

These are nice dreams but remember:

“A goal without a deliberate customized developmental plan is actually a dream in disguise.”

Although elite athletes may also have the above dreams, the difference is that they realize their success is a result of quantifiable performance-orientated process goals. It isn’t always the most naturally gifted athletes that are successful, it is the athletes with strong work ethics, resiliency, and a plan. Below are seven insights that parents should apply while navigating their child’s pathway to greatness.

“Championship results are achieved by focusing on the process and the process starts with a plan.”

 

Achieving Results: Seven Insights 

Insight 1: Establish an outcome goal but then let it go because it isn’t in your athlete’s immediate control. What is? The process. The plan is everything.

The process starts and ends with the constant development of character. Daily focus on character building will shape your child’s life – on and off the playing fields. Character building develops your athlete’s inner voice through optimistic self-coaching. One of the most important jobs of a parent is to focus on character building through life skills.

Insight 2: Assist your athlete in developing calm, positive, proactive “self-talk.” This inner belief in themselves is the basis of the exact mental toughness they need at crunch time.

Your athlete’s inner voice is nurtured to either build them up to think clearly under duress or to tear them down and hinder their efforts at the most inopportune times. Often when things go south in competition, junior athletes allow their mind to drift away from the present process at hand (performance goals) and into past or future thoughts (outcome-oriented thoughts). This is commonly followed by negative inner-chatter. Character building provides the optimistic scripts used to turn a possible disaster into another win.

Insight 3: Character building starts with the parents and coaches leading the way by letting go of the outcome results and reinforcing the process. How can we expect an adolescent to be performance-oriented when their “guiding lights” are obsessed with only winning?

Great parents and coached educate the process of maintained discipline through the chaos. Think about the last time your athlete was in competition. Remember feeling stressed for your athlete? Why? What were your thoughts that caused your pressure and anxiety? Was it past, present or future scenarios? Most likely the actual stress was caused by the long list of “What if’s?” What if they lose to this toad … What if they beat this top seed? What will they’re ranking move to? What will the coaches say? Will they get a Nike deal?

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Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 3

Posted on July 14, 2019 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Memories are Malleable

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

 

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills, etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  1. After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.

  1. Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

 

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.

 

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