During the past three decades, the business of tennis coaching has become more and more scientific. Biomechanics, technique, and technology have changed the hardware (strokes and athleticism) for the better, but the software (mental and emotional) have been routinely ignored. I’ve immersed myself in the mental and emotional aspects of tennis for the last 20 years.Coming this summer is my newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. In it, I detail the essential emotional skill sets that I have found to be key in developing healthy happy accountable athletes. The following post is an excerpt from The Soft Science of Tennis.
Why Character Building Matters
Jenny’s a full-time student at the First Strike Tennis Academy in Southern California and has been for nine years. In her own words: “I’m stuck, I’m SCTA ranked in the upper 80’s and going nowhere fast.” Her father says she’s a gifted player, but he’s frustrated because he’s shelling out an incredible amount of money each month and Jenny isn’t getting the results they believe she’s capable of achieving.
The coaching staff at First Strike had convinced Jenny that she’s doing everything she is supposed to do and just to be patient and she’ll see results soon. Jenny confided in me that her motivation is gone and she says she’s ready to hang up her rackets. She then broke down in tears as she revealed that although she’s good in practice, in competition her competitive grit, patience, and effort have abandoned her. She looked down and sobbed, “I’m just so tired of being average.” Jenny’s father interrupted and confessed, booking this session with you was our last resort.”
It didn’t take long to uncover the White Elephant on the court, which was the fact that Jenny has been training inefficiently for almost a decade.
Our initial conversation began with me asking Jenny some fundamental tennis developmental questions. “Since your telling me you know all too well how to be average, let me ask you an opposing question: Can you tell me how not to be average?” Jenny said, “Um…to do more training than my peers?” I smiled and said, “What’s even more important than the quantity of training?” “I don’t know… the quality of the training?” she responded. I agreed wholeheartedly. I then asked Jenny what she thought the difference was between group drilling and a customized developmental plan. “Well,” she said. “I guess a customized developmental plan focuses on individual needs versus group activities. I said, “Right again sister!”
I asked Jenny, about her tennis goals. She perked up and said, “It used to be to play D-1 Tennis at Stanford but …” “Ok, great!” I jumped in. “Now what is your customized weekly plan to make it a reality? What are you doing week-in and week -out that is setting you far apart from your peers?” … (Crickets) “Let me ask you another way, has your only training been in the academy format? …More silence. I gave it the dramatic one minute pause, which to her must have felt like an hour.
I sat back and slowly explained, “I see the problem. Jenny, you don’t have a customized plan. A goal without a customized plan isn’t a goal at all …it’s simply a dream.” I explained to Jenny that everyone has dreams, but a dream isn’t going to come true without a specific weekly customized developmental plan. Jenny’s eye’s brightened, and I saw her beautiful smile for the first time.
“I believe you owe it to yourself to attack your tennis development from a new perspective. Let’s hit a few balls so I can see your strokes and movement.”
So we hit a few baskets of balls as I identified her strengths and weaknesses in her primary and secondary strokes. We then sat down and went to work designing her customized weekly planner based on her efficiencies and deficiencies within her four main components: strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Our evaluation session was a mind-blowing revelation to Jenny and her Dad. No one had ever actually dissected Jenny’s game, let alone provide customized solutions for improvement. Our first day together went by quickly as we evaluated and improved her tennis IQ, her emotional aptitude, her organizational skills and we made adjustments in her deficient coaching entourage.
Jenny didn’t need to groove her stationary strokes or to run more laps around the high school track. She needed to apply life skills, positive character traits and a renewed belief in herself. Throughout our few days together, I identified the direction of training required and simply motivated her to be accountable for organizing her very own training regimen. She applied solid character traits such as commitment and determination as she competently applied innovation to customize her brand new weekly blueprint. She was open-minded and humble throughout our sessions. Strong character traits are needed to champion tennis and life.
Within six months of completely modifying her life skills and positive character traits. Jenny achieved a top 10 SCTA ranking and went on to play D-1 College ball. (The names have been changed to protect the guilty).
Building character in young athletes is essential to the success of the athlete on and off the court. Positive character not only assists the athletes on the court but guides them as they make the world a better place. An excellent character is a secret precursor of winning. It drives performance which accelerates results. It’s the heartbeat of The Soft Science of Tennis. Sadly, in today’s generation, many parents assume that the coaches are teaching positive character traits and critical life skills, while coaches believe that it’s the parents who are educating these essential skills and sadly it’s a missing link in developing athletes.
“Excellent character is the secret precursor of winning. It drives consistent training which accelerates results.”
Character counts, so what is character? It’s a combination of the athlete’s emotional qualities, beliefs, and values. Great character isn’t a genetic predisposition. Humans aren’t born with great character. Good character is a learned skill set with well nurtured emotional enhancements. One’s character, good or bad shines in all its glory when the athlete is in competition and under duress. Developing character molds the athlete’s inner dialog which either pumps them up or tears them down on a daily basis.
“The underlining effectiveness of a parent or coach lies in their ability to develop positive character skills.”
A modern term used in sports psychology is Posttraumatic Growth (PTG). Psychologists apply the term PTG to describe a positive psychological change that can result from a traumatic experience, such as athletic failure. Though losing may not seem like a tragic event to some, to others, competitive losses can be mentally and emotionally crippling. PTG methodologies help clients through difficult situations by encouraging them to take responsibility with the power of choice.
The athlete can choose to fight or retreat. Tennis champions actually lose and lose often throughout their career. The athletes who choose to use their scar tissue as motivation to fight and endure the athletic pressure persevere and reach the top. Admirable character opens up the athlete to forge ahead instead of shutting down and giving up.
“You need to develop a thick skin” is a common mantra for strong character building. It’s an effective defense to the critics. Trust me, the most common way you know you’re rising above the crowd is when others begin to trash-talk and criticize you solely because of their petty jealousy. If athletes can’t be criticized, they should stay home, lay on the couch and stop improving immediately!”
In regards to character, actions speak louder than words. Parents and coaches need to remember that they are modeling character and that their actions have a more significant impact than their words. It is the role of parents and coaches to create a positive environment for ideal character building. Build character and lead by example:
- It’s cool to be kind so choose kindness.
- Vulnerability is a courageous character trait and not a weakness. So embrace vulnerability.
- Share successes and failures. Share your story as a learning tool.
- Laugh and joke as you apply humor to your daily training sessions.
- Give credit to others for your success.
- Compliment others daily on everything and anything.
Invest more time and energy in your positive character building, and you’ll witness your athletes modeling that behavior.
Character Traits
Character and a solid moral compass are part of the athlete’s foundation which dictates behavior and facilitates success. As for coaches, these same character traits found in a champion are the foundation of a sustainable business.
20 Essential Character Traits Worth Educating
Print the following 20 Essential Character Traits and review with your athlete. Discuss how each trait affects their personal tennis development.
1. Motivational: The reason or reasons for attaining your goals.
2. Trustworthiness: The ability to be relied on as honest or truthful.
3. Gratitude: The appreciation of actions and benefits bestowed upon you.
4. Accountability: The condition of being responsible for your actions.
5. Commitment: The position of being dedicated to your cause.
6. Respectfulness: A curious regard for others feelings or situation.
7. Grit: Strength of character; courage and resolve.
8. Integrity: Having a strong moral compass and principles.
9. Innovative: Applying creative problem solving and advanced thinking.
10. Competency: The ability to perform efficiently and successfully.
11. Honesty: Acting with fairness and righteous conduct.
12. Loyalty: A strong feeling of support or allegiance to your supporters.
13. Ethics: The morals and principles that govern your behavior.
14. Patience: The capacity to tolerate delay or suffering without getting upset.
15. Desire: A deep feeling of acquiring something or wishing for it to happen.
16. Effort: The amount of energy put into an attempt.
17. Sincerity: The quality of being free from pretense and deceit.
18. Open-Mindedness: The willingness to consider new ideas without prejudice.
19. Unselfishness: The willingness to accept the needs of others before your own.
20. Humble: Showing a modest estimate of your importance.
So does the participation in sports build praiseworthy character traits? Yes, but it does not happen by chance. An athlete builds strong character through consistent and optimistic nurturing and reinforcement by parents and coaches. The essential character traits gained on-court are reflected off-court and that gained off-court are reflected on-court creating distinguished young adults. Is your athlete being taught positive character traits?
