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The Real Talent Is Emotional Toughness- Part 2

Posted on November 6, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

 

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Fifteen Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Nurture the Love of Competition
Studies show that experiences bring more joy than possessions. The energy of the event is contagious. Athletes should enjoy competing against their past, fatigue, opponents and against time.

Commit to Improving
Being the best of the best (even in your town) doesn’t come without extreme effort. Improve your performance by understanding emotional aptitude.

Recognize That You Can’t Be Normal …and a Champion
Champions lead very different lives than normal people. Being an athletic champion is a daily life style.

Customize Your Training
Realize that diligent customized training trumps social, group learning. Research shows, on average, group training takes up to six times longer than quality private training.

Adopt a Growth Mind-Set
Great skills are cultivated through continuous effort more so than initial talent or IQ.  Without effort…you fail by default. Understand that success starts with the effort of optimism and a growth mindset.

Embrace Failure
Initial failures are the beginning of the long road to success. They are your teachers. It’s often through setbacks that your customized secrets to success are found.

Step Up and Take Responsibility
A challenge for many athletes is to not allow parents or coaches to routinely solve their problems for them. Solve your problems yourself versus tapping out when difficulties arise.

Take Competitive Risks
Being scared to leave your comfort zone stalls the growth you seek. Take the risk…or grow old wondering if you were ever good enough.

Ask Experts About Their Story
You’ll quickly realize that failing is what winners do often. Winners often don’t have the most physical talent. They most often possess the positive emotional qualities you seek.

Organize a New Developmental Plan
Success stems from spectacular preparation. A brand new deliberate, customized developmental plan along with intelligent game day preparation could make all the difference in the world.

Apply Positive Visualization
Winners use positive visualization by imagining themselves executing their best patterns and plays without hesitation. Less successful athletes are overcome with negative visualization, which of course overwhelms their thought processes with visions of failure.

Train Under Game Day Stress
Athletes need to train much more than just their physical techniques and athleticism in practice. They have to get comfortable… being uncomfortable.

Rehearse Tolerance
Overcome hardships and pain in practice. Simulating stress in practice provides you with the opportunity to conquer your emotional demons. By doing so, reoccurring game day negative thoughts are replaced by positive thoughts such as: “I’ve done this before, I’ve conquered this several times and I know I can overcome this again because I have done it often.”

Learn to Compartmentalize Emotions
Great athletes stay in their optimal performance frame of mind during discomfort by staying on script (pre-set protocol). This entails choosing to mentally focus on the job at hand by overriding the emotional contaminants, thus not letting emotions control the show.

Stop Feeding Negative. Emotions

Flip constantly feeding the problems, worries and fears with customize protocols which feeds optimism, courage, resiliency and fortitude. Athletes should have pre-set triggers (words and actions) that help them focus on positive plays and patterns.

The Real Talent Is Emotional Toughness

Posted on November 3, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

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Emotional Aptitude Is a Skill

At the start of a Southern California junior tennis tournament, the referee calls Kristen Michaels and Jenny Scott to court number four for their match. Kristen seemed to be a super fit, committed athlete with poise and solid fundamentals.  She was dressed from head to toe in the newest Nike gear with her hair braided to perfection. She walked onto the court, unpacked her Wimbledon tournament towel, Gatorade and water bottle as she meticulously lined them up next to her chair. She then selected two rackets from her Nike tour bag as she “pings” them together to listen for the perfect string tension. Deciding on one, she immediately started shadow swinging and shuffling her feet as she waited for the umpire to perform the mandatory coin toss.

Jenny on the other hand, did not appear to be as polished. In fact, she looked downright amateur in her California board shorts and surfer T-shirt. At the coin toss, Jenny was still wrestling through her tennis bag looking for a hair tie as the umpire yells “heads or tails?” Jenny grabs the only racket she brought and calmly saunters towards the net. She lets Kristin choose to serve or return. Jenny couldn’t care less.

The 5 minute pre-match warm-up started and Kristen looked like a professional.  Her movement and strokes were flawless.  Jenny, on the other side of the net looked unorthodox, as she scrambled to return the ball back Kristin’s way.

The referee called time and the match started. Most watching were sure Kristen was going to blow Jenny off the court. But to the spectator’s surprise, Kristin was struggling, down 0-2 within the first 5 minutes of play. The beautiful strokes we had witnessed in the warm-up were gone. By game 3, Kristin reached her maximum frustration tolerance level. She couldn’t keep a backhand in the court as Jenny profiled her opponent and systematically hit every ball to Kristin’s ailing backhand side. Kristen was angry, stomping around, yelling at herself, screaming at her racket, her coach and her mom.  Jenny, on the other hand, was a composed warrior relentlessly picking on Kristin’s weakness. Within 45 minutes, Jenny went on to win 6-2, 6-0. After the match, Jenny’s mom was overheard only uttered three words “Who wants Taco’s?”

 

As illustrated above, emotional aptitude isn’t typically identifiable until after competition begins. What separates the elite competitors from the emotionally fragile athletes is their ability to thrive under perceived stress. Emotional aptitude is the ability to overcome hardships and to distress situations rather than magnify stressful situations. Athletes struggling with poor emotional aptitude lack confidence, composure, suffer bouts of self-doubt and possess an overwhelming fear of being judged by others. These performance meltdowns often go unseen in practice but shine in all their glory on game day.

 

Elite competitors are confident that their superior emotional strength will override any hardships and physical limitations. The emotionally weak athletes are convinced that the unfair hardships and their perceived limitations will override their peak performance and catastrophe will once again occur.

 

An old-school word used to describe emotional aptitude is Grit. In regards to high achievers, researchers have come to the conclusion that successful individuals possess traits deeper than the mastery of athletic ability.  Grit is persistent courage, resolve and strength of character. Grit is the learned ability to have “nerves of steel,” fortitude and determination. Interestingly, some athletes are pre-wired to have these essential components and some are not. For those athletes who are not natural combatants, developing emotional aptitude is critical.

Sadly, emotionally weak competitors often ignore the development of such skills.  Cultivating these character traits is what propels the few into the winner’s circle. If you believe that your emotions are holding you hostage on game day and keeping you from the success you deserve, I suggest focusing your attention on the below list of solutions

 

Re-Thinking Stress – Part 3

Posted on October 28, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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 The Antidote for Emotional Sustainability

Remaining in the right frame of mind throughout an athlete’s journey is emotional persistence. Most often, future behavior is driven by emotional reasons. This is why reminding yourself daily of the positive motivational forces is so important. Take 10 minutes each day to focus on gratitude. Simply being thankful for your environment, your possessions, your friends, family, and coaches helps keep your athletic achievements in a healthy perspective.

 

Gratitude is a quick 10 minute cleansing of the soul.

 

Studies show that meditating for 10 minutes daily with the focus on your blessings helps ward off stress and feelings of being overwhelmed. I’ve read many experts in the field of psychology encouraging us to rethink meditation. Let go of the old school image of a Tibetan monk wrapped in a red robe sitting on a mountain and replace it with a new definition, which is the thought of a daily mental, emotional cleansing.

Re-Thinking Stress -Part 2

Posted on October 25, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Basic Stress Management Strategies

  • Apply physical activity to burn off excess stress hormones- go for a short run before checking in to the event.
  • Apply relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, yoga or meditation.
  • Flip the negative frame of mind with a more positive frame of mind.
  • Set aside time for non-competitive hobbies, such as playing a musical instrument or reading a motivational book.
  • Get plenty of sleep and eat a healthy, balanced diet.
  • Understand that viewing stress as a positive builds confidence.

 

How to Perform Better In High-Pressure Situations

Extraordinary athletes have all found a way to perform in high-pressure environments. One re-occurring theme in this book is that the cleanest fundamentals (in practice) are of zero value if the athlete can’t access them when they need them the most.

The solution to dealing with the high pressure of competition is to begin to re-label pressure situations. Instead of calling it a stressful time, say, “Here we go, it’s a challenging time!” Flipping a negative mental approach into a challenging positive approach provides the athlete with an attainable goal.  By making a conscious effort to replace the focus on what you DON’T want to happen (don’t choke, don’t overthink, don’t miss, and don’t lose) with positive imagery of what you Do want to happen, you will be pre-setting success.

To illustrate how your thoughts control your actions, try this old-school psychological exercise: Repeat to yourself 10 times: “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,”  “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza,” “I don’t want piping hot cheesy pizza.” After the tenth time. Close your eyes. What subconsciously enters your brain? PIZZA!

 

Often the more you try to suppress a thought, the more you strengthen it.

 

By thinking about negative thoughts before performing, we are “willing” negative results. Studies reveal that if we replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts, our brain will over-ride the negative beliefs. Going into competition without positive mental imagery, such as top pattern play, allows the mind to wander. So to perform better in high-pressure situations, it is imperative for an athlete to trust their training and to fill their thoughts with positive pattern play.

Remember, stress is inherent in athletic competition. But it’s how you choose to let it control your performance that typically separates the extraordinary athletes from the rest of the field.

 

Rethinking Stress- Part 1

Posted on October 21, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Rethinking Stress

A very common view within the athletic community is that stress is the enemy in competition- the more stress felt, the worse the performance. Essentially believing that nothing good comes from stress.  But this belief couldn’t be further from the truth. Stress is actually very beneficial to the competitive athlete. Athletes who accept that stress is part of competition, are actually healthier competitors and much more likely to succeed.  How one views competition, ultimately determines the effects that stress has on their performance. In fact, on the playing fields, chasing excellence is better for your well-being than trying to avoid the stress (pain) of competition.

Let’s join up with Evan and Jarrod one last time. This time to discuss their take on the stress of competition.

 

Question: How does stress in competition effect performance?

Evan: When I feel stressed, my heart beats faster, raising my adrenaline levels and pumping more oxygen throughout my body.  I see stress as a plus- preparing me for the battle. Stress tells me it’s “GO TIME” and I focus better. Without the stress, there wouldn’t be extra hormones running through my body giving me an extra boost.

Jarrod: In the past, when I’m freaking out … My stomach hurt and I became irritable, overwhelmed and angry. All I would think about is the outcome and I panicked and choked.  I guess I chose to go that route. I used to be an
idiot …

Frank’s Tip: Stress isn’t the culprit. It’s how individuals choose to view the stress. If you’re a bit like Jarrod, it is time to apply stress management solutions to help you flip your attitude and learn to use stress to improve your performance.

Final thoughts on Evan and Jarrod: I had a feeling that Evan would help provide young athletes with an optimistic, solution based voice coming from their peer group. Honestly, I was very worried about Jarrod in the beginning of this process. I speculated wrongly that his narcissistic views couldn’t be swayed. As we dug deeper into the benefits of emotional aptitude, Jarrod slowly but surely changed his rigid stance and began to accept this developmental process. I couldn’t be more pleased that Jarrod is now on board.

Stop Worrying About What Others Think -Part 3

Posted on September 25, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Focus On Improving Yourself Versus Proving Yourself

 

  • Stop Wasting Energy Worrying About What Others Think. Others’ perception of you isn’t based on you. It’s more likely based on their fears of you overtaking them.

 

  • Realize That Rivals Are Probably Not Thinking About You Anyway. Here’s a shocker… Rivals are most likely worrying about what you’re thinking of them and not the other way around. Imaginary scenarios of what your opponent is thinking is basically a figment of your imagination and shows a lack of emotional maturity and childlike insecurities.

 

  • Remember That Strangers Don’t Really Know You. Even if your rivals form a “superficial hatred” of you, it is most likely a result of fear and jealousy rather than facts. They’re actually complicating their life by wasting energy on non-productive dramas.

 

  • Enjoy Being You. Strive to be the individual others secretly emulate and/or gossip about. The National Enquirer and other gossip magazines generate millions of dollars monthly in this practice. Be grateful that you’re viewed as a threat and that is why they’re on the attack.

 

  • Flip Your Focus From How Your Rivals Feel, To How You Should Be Feeling. Emotional aptitude requires prioritizing one’s thoughts to the moment at hand. Thinking less often trumps over-thinking about inappropriate contaminants. Letting go of judgment is an important choice that will enable athletes to perform free.

 

  • Trust Your Positive Moral Code. Do the right thing. Make the right choices. By having a solid moral code it allows you to trust your decisions. A positive strong moral code upsets rivals because it raises you above them and takes the emotional power away from them.

 

  • There’s Always Another Naysayer. Even if you cater to a naysayer and put your needs behind theirs…guess what? There is always going to be another one to take their place. Honestly, the better the athlete gets, the more the critics want their say…

 

Worrying Is a Choice

My neighbor’s golden retriever, Lacy, got out the other night. Sadly she was struck by a car. My other neighbor, Mrs. Johnson, was taking out the trash and witnessed the incident. Without hesitation, she ran into her garage, grabbed towels and immediately took charge. She called 911, then like a well-trained athlete, she went to work calming Lacy down, cleaning her cuts and broken leg until help arrived.

During her heroic mission, Mrs. Johnson didn’t worry about what others were thinking. She didn’t wonder if the bystanders thought she was doing it right. She didn’t worry about what they thought about the worn out old towels she was using. She didn’t give her old tattered housecoat or her messy hair a second thought…

The intensity of the situation motivated her to choose not to care what others might think. The story of Mr. Johnson and Lacy demonstrate that thinking about what others are thinking about … is only a choice.

 

 

Stop Worrying About What Others Think – Part 2

Posted on September 21, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

 The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

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Question: How did you let go of the need for approval?

Evan: I finally realized that my friends weren’t interested in helping me achieve my goals. They could care less about me. I began to understand that my parents were my number one fans- continuing to support and nurture self-belief, self-confidence, and self-reliance. I also learned to trust and respect those that were looking out for my best interest, which included my private coach.  With the support of my team, I was able to let go of looking for approval and instead commit to striving to be the best I could be both as an athlete and as a person.

Jarrod: I guess I’m finally ready to really commit to myself. My constant need for approval from those that could care less about my goals seems crazy…  I don’t know what I was thinking.  Maybe I wasn’t thinking! I’m going to make the effort to change. You said a fixed mindset personality can change to having a growth mindset, right? I am ready to forget about pleasing others and commit to my goals!

 

Constantly worrying about pleasing others takes away time and energy from improving yourself.

 

To maximizing potential you must take the leadership role in your customized developmental plan. Like Evan, it is essential to surround yourself with those that support, respect and encourage positive life skills. Athletic success requires a team that mutually respects each other and their roles. It is also important to eliminate the influence of those with a fixed mindset because improvement stems from a growth mindset.

Decisions regarding your athletic career should be based solely on the continual assessments of individual strengths and weaknesses – period!

 

The problem with approval seeking is that it holds your emotions captive. Some athletes have difficulty focusing on their own strengths because they’re constantly worrying about meeting the standards and expectations of others.

 

Stop Worrying About What Others Think- Part 1

Posted on September 18, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Stop Worrying About What Others Think

 

One of the leading causes of performance anxiety is worrying about what others think. This unproductive energy zapper is a choice and an incredibly bad choice at that! This section will prove why. Let’s call on the twins, to see how they view worrying about what others think about them.

 

Question: Does the opinion of other players, coaches and/or parents matter to you?

Evan: Well, what’s right for someone else may be completely wrong for me.  I’d rather let go of both the good and bad opinions and simply have faith in my skills. This is emotional aptitude, right Frank? Trusting your own opinions, decisions, abilities, and living on your own terms?

Jarrod: In the past I wanted the better players to like me, so I actually unknowingly tanked my matches with them. I respected them too much. I just let them win.  I wasn’t sure why. I thought if I let them win… they’d like me. Kind of crazy, right? Now after talking about this emotional aptitude stuff, I realize that the fastest way to be liked is by beating them.

 

Question: Is the need to be accepted by other athletes holding you back?

Evan: I love being part of a team, but tennis isn’t a team sport. It’s an individual sport. I let go of the need to be accepted years ago and decided it’s in my best interest to customize my training. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the socialization of group training, but if that’s all I did, I would definitely be an average player, at best!

Jarrod: When I was young and naïve, I believed the other athletes in the group when they said that the group clinic was their only training. Later, I realized that they often snuck away and did extra private lessons to secretly get ahead of the rest of us. Pretty sneaky huh?

 

Question: Is the need for peer approval holding you hostage?

Evan: When I was in junior high, I procrastinated and avoided doing what’s right for me. I also wanted everyone to like me, so I tried to blend in and not stand out.  This limited my growth opportunities because I couldn’t get better and with an average work ethic. I was exhausting trying to please the cool people.

Jarrod: I am finally seeing how emotional aptitude really is important. I used to try to do too much- never wanting to miss the fun. I would never say no. Looking back, trying to please all my non-athletic friends really hurt my development.

 

 

Managing Thoughts and Emotions – Part 4

Posted on July 1, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

SOLUTION: The Evolution of Winnersea-in-sports4a_final

 

 “It’s not the strongest that survive nor the most intelligent but the one most responsive to change.”

                                                           Charles Darwin

 

Being responsive to change is emotional aptitude. Winners innovate. The solution to becoming a winner is to be willing to take risks. Through risks comes rewards. Champions see taking calculated risks as necessary in order to achieve greatness. It’s important to note that in competitive sports, there is a difference between controlled aggression and reckless aggression. The same holds true with calculated risk versus reckless risk. In competition, only with risk comes reward. Athletes too afraid to take risks are commonly known as “spectators.”  Emotional aptitude is the mindset of taking your best shot at greatness, regardless of possible failure.

Benefits of Taking Calculated Risks:

The comfort of the familiar often takes precedence over the risk of the unknown, both in sports and in life. This safety zone destroys growth.  Taking calculated risks push athletes through pre-existing emotional walls and forges new emotional protocols. Without taking calculated risks, athletes cannot maximize potential. Improvement is not a result of random chance.  Improvement comes with systematic change. I’ve outline three critical benefits of taking calculated risks.

  • Enhances Skill Sets and Promotes Confidence

Developing new techniques and strategies is considered a risk for many athletes. Added skills are the tools in one’s tool box. With new tools comes a new found sense of confidence.

  • Improves Problem-Solving Skills

New solutions to long term problems will present themselves once you’re open to new ideas and are willing to try different approaches towards improvement.

  • Encourages Commitment and Trust

Taking risks encourage growth.  With growth comes new pathways towards improvement. New success, in turn reinforces inner belief and the risks then becomes the reward.

 

The benefits of taking calculated risks come from a growth mind set.

The Soft Science of Tennis -Industry Testimonials

Posted on June 29, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

Soon to be released (July 7, 2018!)- THE SOFT SCIENCE OF TENNIS.

CLICK HERE to Pre-order on Amazon

 

SOFT SCIENCE COVER2 COPY

“Frank’s positive attitude and his ability to see tennis from different angles make his insights fresh and unique. In The Soft Science of Tennis, Frank once again shows us different, powerful pathways to success.”

Eliot Teltscher, Irvine, California Top #6 ATP player, Former managing director of the USTA Player Development Program

 

“The Soft Side of Tennis is filled with insight and inspiration to help you reach your potential. In this extraordinary book, Frank Giampaolo shows you how to successfully utilize your skill set by developing a positive mindset.”

Roger Crawford, Sacramento California, Host of Tennis Channel’s Motivational Monday’s, Best-Selling Author-Hall of Fame Speaker
“The Soft Science of Tennis is not just another tool in your toolbox but another complete toolbox that every coach and parent should read. As in any sport, technical and physical abilities will not flourish until mental capabilities grow and strengthen. Frank takes you through the effective steps of how to assist your athletes in developing a strong and positive mindset. Any coach or parent trying to help a player who is striving for excellence, must read this book. This is definitely a book that I will purchase for the entire High-Performance coaching staff at CDL.”

Dean Hollingworth, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, WTA Trainer, CSCS, MTPS Director of High-Performance Club CDL

 

“Great book! I believe this is going to help a lot of coaches and players. It should be part of the mandatory curriculum as a teaching professional. The four parts of a performance paradigm are physical, equipment, technical, and mental. This book is a must for the mental side of the athlete. If you’re into building champions of life and on-court this book is a must.”

Dr. Sean Drake, Oceanside California, Performance Director at TPI