Archive | Maximizing Tennis Potential RSS feed for this section

Changing Inner Belief

Posted on April 10, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
CLICK HERE To Get Your Copy Today


Changing Inner Belief

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Teach your athlete that we all have empowering and destructive beliefs. Remind them that the power of positive inner belief will become thoughts that guide their new actions.

It’s important to note: Athletes can’t outplay their belief system, so if they think they can or can’t, they’re usually right.

One of the reasons that it’s challenging to change emotional habits is that the athlete is usually loyal to them only because they’ve believed in them for so long. Changing their perspective will take commitment from the athlete, parent, and coach. If your athlete is willing to improve their inner belief at crunch time, these ten tips are for you.

Solutions: Parents, please ask your athlete to utilize the following tips:

  1. Choose inner dialog and positive self-talk that boosts confidence versus the standard negative monologue that derails confidence.
  2. Please list of all your unique strengths, then one by one, appreciate them.
  3. Employ SMART goals which are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Reminder: Winning every time isn’t a smart goal.
  4. Develop a skill each day. Inner belief comes from growth.
  5. Seek new inspiring mentors as trusted advisors.
  6. Nourish your inner belief by exchanging pointless social media with informative YouTube posts regarding confidence and belief.
  7. The human mind magnifies the bad. So, review the matches you were clutch under pressure versus those you gifted away.
  8. Focus on what could go right versus what could go wrong.
  9. Remember: Where your focus goes, energy flows.”
  10. If you’re going to have an attitude, make it gratitude.

Changing inner belief begins with these ten simple reminders.

Comfort Is Where Dreams Go to Die

Posted on April 7, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
CLICK HERE

Comfort Is Where Dreams Go to Die

Let’s use an archer’s bullseye target as an analogy to illustrate the growth cycle of an athlete. The target rings have several colors. The black outer ring represents your child’s comfort zone. The inner blue rings represent the fear zone. The red-colored ring represents your athlete’s mastery zone. The inner circle or bullseye is yellow, representing the management zone. Top athletes have to manage the tools they’ve mastered. Common issues occur when the athlete would rather remain moderately uncomfortable yet safe instead of dealing with the uncertainties that would make a real change in their life. I recommend asking your athlete to repeat this saying:

“If I Keep on Doing What I’ve Always Done…I’m Gonna Keep Getting What I Always Got”

Solution: Improving your athlete’s performance starts by understanding the growth cycle. Athletes must be ready and willing to leave their Comfort Zone and step into their Fear Zone. Only by passing through the Fear Zone can Mastery be attained. After skills are mastered, managing those skills takes place. The pathway:

“Comfort Zone … Fear Zone …Mastery Zone …Management Zone”

My mentor, the late Vic Braden, said this a thousand times: “Once the pain of losing to another inferior opponent overrides the pain of change, the prognosis is good for quick improvement.” If change is still more painful, growth is stalled.

Avoidance versus Exposure

Posted on April 4, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
CLICK HERE

Avoidance versus Exposure

Although avoidance can lead to temporary relief from anxiety, the avoidance approach typically creates deeper fear in the future. By putting off solutions, athletes unknowingly multiply their anxiety about the topic. Exposure strategies are more proactive. They lead to a way out of the drama while minimizing stress in the future. What helps an athlete improve? Avoidance or exposure? In the world of performance anxieties, the answer is more exposure. But what do most athletes choose? Avoidance.

Sometimes the most profound tip is the simplest. New, correct pathways often change athletic careers. The old saying is, “What you resist persists.” Teaching your youngster that avoidance can increase anxiety isn’t an easy sell, which is why most teaching professionals avoid it. Keeping lessons light decreases the drama of facing real issues, so most tennis pros avoid changing anything serious. If your athlete is hesitant to face their fears, these few tips should help.

Solution: Deciding on a plan and then putting it into action begins with sitting down and talking with your athlete. Start the conversation by acknowledging that you feel anxious about a particular topic and then ask them about their true feelings towards the issue. Let them know you want to support them and enjoy your time together through their tennis journey.

Remind them that it’s no accident that “Unshakeable” athletes are the way they are. It’s not by CHANCE …but by CHOICE. Next, nudge them in the direction that the most crucial component to control in the world of competition isn’t the drama; it’s their reaction to the drama. Then bring to light the reoccurring drama in your athlete’s matches and devise those customized solutions.

Life Skills Through Tennis

Posted on March 30, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The truth is, most often, sports don’t teach life skills; they expose them. Competition reveals underdeveloped life skills; the athlete has to be taught how to improve that individual skill set.

If you’re paying a technical coach to fix stroke mechanics, please don’t assume they’re teaching your kids life skills. The common misconception is that your child’s coaches are teaching those critical abilities. Most often, parents assume that the coaches are educating life skills, and the coaches assume that the parents are teaching them. Guess what? No one is.

Solution: Psychosocial competence or life skills are abilities and behaviors that enable athletes to deal with the demands and challenges of competition on and off the tennis court. Be mindful of who’s developing the character traits of your child daily. The type of individual your child becomes is dictated by who is nurturing them.

Sabotaging Athletic Performance

Posted on March 26, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

NOW AVAILABLE

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

When Advice Creates Drama

“I always tell my kid the same thing, and they don’t listen to me!”

The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) states that there is a neurobiology of attachment between parents and children. As you intuitively know, the learning environment becomes more challenging when the athlete can’t separate the role of a loving parent and a demanding coach.

The athlete’s perceived lack of a consistent, caring parental relationship often instigates and prolongs dramatic coaching exchanges. The parent-coach dual role can make it more difficult for the athlete to regulate emotions, develop confidence, or build a trusting athlete-coach bond.

Solution:

If your athlete is resisting your parental coaching role, I suggest letting go of the “coaching gig.” Now, this doesn’t mean that you should completely detach. It means adjusting your parental coaching role to keep the love of the sport and the love between you and your athlete alive. So, if you believe your role as your athlete’s primary coach is essential, hire a primary coach to channel your strategies. Now you have a team working together; your athlete will feel free to express their needs and wants without fearing losing their parent’s love and respect.

Here are a few tips:

  • Keep Things Fun
  • Ask and Listen
  • Promote Long Term Goals
  • Emulate Leaders
  • Respect their Personality Profile
  • Guide them to Better Choices
  • Avoid Lecturing
  • Apply Modeling
  • Build Relationships with the Coaches
  • Provide Love Regardless of Results

Although coaching your child may be enjoyable and more economical, being your child’s coach may stunt their growth if they challenge your coaching role. It is common for parental coaches to eventually retire from their coaching gig and recommit to being their child’s full-time essential parents.

Psychosomatic Dramas

Posted on March 22, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

NOW AVAILABLE

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

Psychosomatic Dramas

Pre-match problems that are invented are called psychosomatic dramas. This condition involves feelings of physical symptoms, usually lacking a clear medical explanation. Athletes with these symptoms may have excessive thoughts, feelings, or concerns about competition, affecting their ability to perform well.

Some athletes are prone to worry. A junior competitor who seems to have excess fear creates psychosomatic problems. By inventing problems, they temporarily get to avoid actual vulnerability. Most athletes who deny inventing their pre-match drama share a common way of thinking: “If I give 100% effort and fail, it’s all on me… it’s my fault. But if I say that I’m injured or sick and then happen to lose, I’m giving myself a built-in excuse. This way, losing isn’t so painful.”

The preventive medicine approach is needed to reduce competitive stress. These tips can assist your athlete in managing their mental health and improving their sanity come game day. I recommend experimenting with coping strategies.

Solution: The preventive medicine approach includes the following:

  • Accept your feelings but don’t chase them.
  • Prioritize controlling what’s controllable
  • Practice relaxation. Deep breathing/meditation
  • Going for a run naturally produces stress-relieving hormones
  • Ask them to Google: Fear, then discuss it.
  • Ask them to Google: Psychosomatic issues, then discuss them.

Junior competitors sometimes hold perfectionism traits. These traits lead to fear of failure because they worry it might define them. In the psychological world, the term is Atelophobia, an actual fear of flaws. Athletes with Atelophobia may develop a fear of competition. Please remind your athlete that in 2017 Novak Djokovic won 53% of his points, Roger Federer won 54.5%, and Rafael Nadal won 55% of his points played. They chase excellence, not perfection.

Parental Dialogue

Posted on February 20, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

NOW AVAILABLE

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

ebook with lightblue background_3D

Post-Match Banter

Remember that every use of force, even the smallest, creates a counterforce. Like Newton’s third law, “For every action… there’s an equal opposite reaction.” Parents’ match play observations delivered to an athlete right after the competition create a love of competition or distaste for competition. Here’s an insightful question for us adults: What if our boss gave us their list of everything we did wrong at the end of every day? I know I’d be looking for a new job ASAP!

Solution:

  • Spend a week practicing not giving unsolicited advice to your young athlete.
  • Stop yourself and choose silence.
  • Give your child the time to organize their solutions.

 

Here’s a fact, your words become your child’s inner dialogue at future crunch time. So, if your post-performance banter is repeatedly heard as “you’re not good enough,” guess what they’re thinking as they’re trying desperately to close out another match?

Parents unknowingly destroy the inner belief needed by their junior athletes. Analyzing performance is terrific for those detailed data collectors, but please follow up the analysis by texting your findings to the coach instead of sharing them with your child. Post-match, your child only needs to hear one question from you: What kind of ice cream are you getting today? All they need to feel from you is how much you love to watch them play and how proud you are of them.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Posted on February 6, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

ebook with lightblue background_3D

PREFACE

 

The most important and neglected component of the competitive tennis athlete is their mental and emotional aptitude. Yet, year after year, most athletes and their parents ignore the psychological aspects of the game of tennis. The Tennis Parent’s Bible was my first attempt to call attention to this issue. With great success and professional recognition, the importance of mental and emotional development is finally acknowledged, but a lack of implementation is still an issue over a decade later.

Parents of high-performance athletes have a detailed job description. While their job doesn’t typically involve the development of the sports mechanics or athleticism, it does comprise the mental and emotional aptitude needed to navigate competitive pressures. I wrote The Psychology of Tennis Parenting as a psychological guidance system to assist parents with developing the software their athletes need to maximize their full potential.

I am a Philomath, which is a lover of learning. For the past two decades, I’ve traveled around the world coaching top athletes and examining the role of parenting athletes, and identifying ways to improve those systems. Though I have written many books to help athletes, parents, and coaches fine-tune their training routines, those athletes that have found the most success have had a parent eager to direct the team.

Athletes need mental clarity at crunch time, and this book provides the mental and emotional training pathways lacking in most athletes’ development. A successful athlete on-court is also an accomplished person off-court. Parents devoting time and energy to developing strong mental and emotional skill sets are raising confident and resilient future leaders.

Praise Effort Not Results

Posted on February 5, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Psychology of Tennis Parents

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

ebook with lightblue background_3D

Chapter One Excerpt- Nurturing Happiness

 

Praise Effort, Not Results

When parents say, “Ethan, if you win the whole event, we’ll buy you a new computer game!”

The reality is that winning is out of Ethan’s control. An athlete can influence winning a tournament but can’t control it. There are far too many variables to manage in a match. Outcome goals create an anxious environment and obstruct the learning process. Parents should instead encourage process goals and view each match as a learning experience. The research is very consistent: praise effort, not results.

Solution: Replace this outcome bribe with an attainable goal, “Ethan, if you hit your three performance goals each match this event, we’ll buy you a new computer game.” Now Ethan is given a goal within his control.

After the tournament, parents should avoid discussing the laundry list of mistakes their athletes made during the match. This negative list of faults destroys your athlete’s self-esteem and confirms that they are broken and unworthy. Parents should send their match notes to their athlete’s coach, and the coach can address the issues during practice. Avoid a post-match verbal attack.

Lastly, parents avoid using their friend’s success against them. Praising their rival’s positive results compounds the pressure. Praising your athlete’s effort instead keeps them focused on the improvement process.

Available Now The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Posted on February 2, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

INTRODUCTION

 

It’s our job as parents and coaches to teach the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. The Psychology of Tennis Parenting will help the reader uncover how to juggle both topics. Your family’s happiness depends on your ability to navigate the waters. As I’ve said a thousand times:

“Educated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s motors…uneducated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s anchors.”

If your athlete is already competing, you have seen that winning titles requires more than just athletic ability. The prerequisite is a healthy mental state: emotional fitness and psychological strength matter. Our emotions determine our course of action, and these pages assist you in shaping the mental and emotional state of the athlete and their entourage of coaches and trainers.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting is a tool to assist the parents and coaches in forming their athlete’s life skills and positive character traits. Changing bad habits is the prelude to winning higher-level matches. After all, winning and losing doesn’t just happen. The quality of one’s preparation determines success.

This book will teach parents how to educate their children to advocate for themselves, be assertive under pressure, make good decisions, and, most importantly, apply gratitude along the journey.