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Praise Effort Not Results

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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Chapter One Excerpt- Nurturing Happiness

 

Praise Effort, Not Results

When parents say, “Ethan, if you win the whole event, we’ll buy you a new computer game!”

The reality is that winning is out of Ethan’s control. An athlete can influence winning a tournament but can’t control it. There are far too many variables to manage in a match. Outcome goals create an anxious environment and obstruct the learning process. Parents should instead encourage process goals and view each match as a learning experience. The research is very consistent: praise effort, not results.

Solution: Replace this outcome bribe with an attainable goal, “Ethan, if you hit your three performance goals each match this event, we’ll buy you a new computer game.” Now Ethan is given a goal within his control.

After the tournament, parents should avoid discussing the laundry list of mistakes their athletes made during the match. This negative list of faults destroys your athlete’s self-esteem and confirms that they are broken and unworthy. Parents should send their match notes to their athlete’s coach, and the coach can address the issues during practice. Avoid a post-match verbal attack.

Lastly, parents avoid using their friend’s success against them. Praising their rival’s positive results compounds the pressure. Praising your athlete’s effort instead keeps them focused on the improvement process.

Available Now The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

INTRODUCTION

 

It’s our job as parents and coaches to teach the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. The Psychology of Tennis Parenting will help the reader uncover how to juggle both topics. Your family’s happiness depends on your ability to navigate the waters. As I’ve said a thousand times:

Educated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s motors…uneducated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s anchors.”

If your athlete is already competing, you have seen that winning titles requires more than just athletic ability. The prerequisite is a healthy mental state: emotional fitness and psychological strength matter. Our emotions determine our course of action, and these pages assist you in shaping the mental and emotional state of the athlete and their entourage of coaches and trainers.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting is a tool to assist the parents and coaches in forming their athlete’s life skills and positive character traits. Changing bad habits is the prelude to winning higher-level matches. After all, winning and losing doesn’t just happen. The quality of one’s preparation determines success.

This book will teach parents how to educate their children to advocate for themselves, be assertive under pressure, make good decisions, and, most importantly, apply gratitude along the journey.

More Industry Expert Testimonials

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

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“As a former top ATP Touring professional, now the father of two budding competitive tennis players, me and my wife go through all the same junior “pitfalls” as all the other parents. No matter that I was top 10 in the world and my wife played D-1 tennis at Virginia Tech, this junior tennis world is full of “derailment points,” none more devastating to a junior tennis player than parents doing the wrong thing.

Frank’s writing is unapologetic and straight to the point. He’s got the guts to share what coaches and parents should be teaching around the world. In this practical masterwork, Frank showcases common problems and provides clear and practical solutions that every parent and coach needs to apply on a daily basis.”

Johan Kriek, ATP, Multiple Grand Slam Champion Florida

 

“I’ve known Frank for a long time. He’s definitely one of the best in the business regarding the mental side of the game. Enjoy this great book.”

Eliot Teltscher, Former #6 ATP, Grand Slam Champion, & Former USTA Director of High Performance, California

 

“In his new book, Frank Giampaolo has succeeded in giving parents profound insight into the most important and difficult issue in creating true champions. In “The Psychology of Tennis Parenting,” Giampaolo shows how the focus on process, effort, and empathy is the true secret in developing great players and great people.”

Tim Mayotte, Former ATP Top 10, Massachusetts

Industry Expert Testimonials

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

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INDUSTRIAL EXPERT TESTIMONIALS

“Frank Giampaolo has written a sacred text for maximizing athletic potential.”

Jon Wertheim, Editor Sports Illustrated, Author, Tennis Channel, 60 Minutes

 

“Frank continues to create tools for tennis players and families to help navigate the pathways of development. This book offers invaluable knowledge to help players & parents navigate the emotional aspects of the competitive environment in a healthy and productive way. A must read, Bravo Frank.”

Paul Annacone, Former Top 40 ATP, Coach of Taylor Fritz, Roger Federer, Pete Sampras

 

“This is an impressive and hard-hitting book. As a clinical psychologist, I strongly recommend it to any parent who wants to help a child reach peak performance. Giampaolo is a celebrated and sought-after tennis coach who understands what works and what doesn’t. Each chapter is power-packed and filled with sound advice on how to maximize performance. There’s no psychobabble here, only what makes practical on-the-court sense. Don’t just buy it. Study and apply its principles as you encourage your child toward athletic excellence.”

Clinton W. McLemore, Ph.D., Founder, Clinician’s Research Digest, Author, Inspiring Trust: Strategies for Effective Leadership, APA Award for Outstanding Contributions to Professional Development in Psychology, California

Preorder eBook for Only $0.99 Cents

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

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Coming in January The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

WISHING YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND THE VERY IN THE BEST NEW YEAR!

COMING SOON

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TENNIS PARENTING

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The New Year is a great time to re-evaluate your tennis game and organize your training to maximize your tennis potential. Successful competitive tennis demands great mental and emotional skill sets. Be sure to include mental and emotional training along with your technical and athletic training.

Wishing you the Best, Frank Giampaolo

Tennis Training Organization

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

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QUESTION: My Son isn’t that serious. Does he still need a plan?

 

Frank: I still highly recommend organizing a weekly schedule. Regardless of a player’s long-term aspirations, whether it is to play as a professional or simply play as a hobbyist, an organized blueprint will maximize potential at the quickest rate through discipline.

Completing a weekly planner and being accountable for their time and actions are essential life lessons.  A disciplined player may excel and find a passion greater than initially expected or choose to redirect their passion, either way important life skills are nurtured through the discipline of organization.

 

For those parents and coaches saying, “What about the child that only wants to be a high school player?” I remind them that I’ve yet to have a parent come to me and state: “My wife and I want you to train our daughter to be a completely average tennis player!”

 

“An athletes schedule may vary depending on their goals, but their organizational
skill sets will become permanent assets.”

Tennis Player Accountibility- Why is my child losing now?

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

 

PLAYER ACCOUNTABILITY

Player accountability stems from a champion’s mindset- which includes a positive moral compass, core values, and a high standard of behavior. Teach your children that even though the hardest path is often the road less traveled- it is also the quickest way to the top!

 

QUESTION: My daughter is losing to players she used to beat. Can you help?

 

Frank: The quickest way to break through a rut and go up a level is to challenge your child to focus on improving versus winning. Rekindle your daughter’s confidence by adding new tools to her game. Ask your youngster to compete only against herself.  This is a sensational way to progress without the stress. To illustrate this point, I’ll use a student from New York. Her name is Kaitlin. She was also in a rut. Below I have listed three of Kaitlin’s issues and her customized solution.

Issue #1: Negative Emotional Outburst

Challenge: We have asked Kaitlin to focus on reducing the sheer number of negative outbursts by 25 % each match for the next month. The parent’s role is to chart the number of times Kaitlin displays the undesired response. If she hits her mark and decreases her negative emotional outburst by 25 percent, she is a winner!

Issue #2: Serving Second Serves to the Opponent’s Forehand

Challenge: Stop feeding the forehand. Kaitlin serves 80 percent of her second serves to the opponent’s strength. Her challenge is to serve 80 percent of her second serves to the opponent’s weakness. The parent’s role, in this case, is to chart each serve in match play. If Kaitlin can improve her second serve and place it 80% of the time on the opponent’s weaker side, she is a winner!

Issue #3: Beating a Retriever

Challenge: To change the way Kaitlin and her dad think about retriever/pusher’s opponents. The first challenge is to assist them in understanding that they have been misled- thinking retrievers die out in the 12s! In my experience, retrievers are one of the most prevalent styles in women’s college tennis.

The second challenge is to ask Kaitlin, and her parent’s to switch their focus from grooving fundamental strokes to understanding and developing the patterns used to pull those crafty retrievers out of their comfort zone.

A great place to start when rekindling confidence is to list the four main components of the game. Agree to a radical shift in training. Let go of the old comfortable methods and simply choose one key element in each component to focus on in the next month.

 

Kaitlin’s Challenges Include:

Stroke Mechanics: Developing her second serve. (Power, Spin, Placement, Consistency)

Mental: Choosing to hit the shot the moment demands. (Shot Selections)

Emotional: Performance anxieties. (Handling Pushers)

Athleticism: Improved fitness. (Speed, Agility, and Stamina)

 

“Athletes who practice with a deliberate, customized approach usually produce greater benefits in 2 hours than those who invest 6 hours of mindless hitting.”

 

Taking back control requires taking concrete actions. Replacing past unproductive behaviors with new proactive actions is key to rekindling growth.

Tennis Player Accountibility- Tennis Roadblocks Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

PLAYER ACCOUNTABILITY

Player accountability stems from a champion’s mindset- which includes a positive moral compass, core values, and a high standard of behavior. Teach your children that even though the hardest path is often the road less traveled- it is also the quickest way to the top!

 

QUESTION: What are some of the hidden roadblocks and myths found in high-performance tennis?

 

Frank: It fascinates me how some junior athletes will hold on to crazy beliefs. They would rather live in their “altered state of reality” and continue to get poor results than simply be accountable to their deliberate customized developmental plan. Below I have compiled some of the most common myths coming out of your kids’ mouths!

 

When I Become a Pro …Then I’ll Train like a Pro 

Professionals must “live the life” for years before winning a single match on tour. The typical formula is approximately 20 hours a week for 10 years of customized training to compete on the ATP or WTA level. Quality of training always trumps quantity of court time. Begin by challenging your child to train about 20 hours a week for a month.

I Need More …More is Better

In matches, most juniors think about too many things. Their body is off balance at contact as opposing force vectors fly in all directions; their racquet head is rolling through the hitting zone, and their running through four segment swings. The key is to simplify. Most often, improving is about “trimming the fat,” not adding more.

I Will Just “Wing It” Later

Planning reduces stress. Often we see players begin to pack their racquets, find a new outfit, clean their water bottles, search for their over grips, print out the directions to the site, look up their opponent record, make breakfast, take a shower, brush their teeth all within the last 10 minutes before they are scheduled to leave. Hum…no wonder they’re angry and stressed.

I Played a Set Last Week …I’m Fine

To win major events, you must be a good finisher. Building a track record of closing out matches is the key. Exchange playing a set with playing 2 out of 3 sets and finish the match. The most important stage of any set is the end! If time is short, start each set at 2-2 but close out sets. Professionals routinely close out 2-4 sets a day on practice days.

I Can’t Control My Anger or my Drifting Mind

Re-programming these dominant thoughts takes about four to six weeks of serious, focused attention. It’s often the same program as rebuilding a flawed stroke. Re-tooling your emotions and thoughts, on-court are learned behaviors.

To be Great, I Have to Play at My Peak Everyday

Peak level and peak efforts are two different elements. It is too taxing to be physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally ready to battle every day of their lives. After a tournament, you should “unplug.” That’s right, recharge the batteries. In the practice phase, strive for peak effort and let go of peak performance.

If You’re Laughing, You’re Not Working Hard Enough

You get biochemical surges of positive energy when you laugh, dance, smile, or even hug someone. Neuroscience studies clearly show that when you smile and laugh, you stay on your brain’s correct (right) side. This is where muscles flow effortlessly, and great decisions are made quickly. When you’re mad, judgmental, or analytical, the right side of your brain shuts down, and you are toast!

Believing If You’re a Better Athlete, Then You’ll Win

Being a better physical athlete is only one-third of the battle. If your child is weaker mentally or emotionally, they will struggle. Another way to look at this issue is if an opponent looks physically superior to the rest of the field, there is most likely something missing or broken in their mental or emotional components. They wouldn’t be in a local junior draw if they were superior in all three.

 

 

Practice Sessions Dramas- Part 2

 

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

frank

 

PRACTICE SESSION DRAMAS

 

QUESTION: Even after a practice set, the first thing my Dad asks is, “Did you win?”

 

Frank: I must say, parents being too outcome oriented is the number one stressor that talented juniors report. This seemingly simple question, did you win, is sure to grow only one thing…the athlete’s performance anxieties. From your child’s perspective, this is seen as an interrogation. Asking such a question stems from the mindset of uneducated, old schooled tennis parents.

 

“Champions are performance oriented, not outcome oriented.”

 

The majority of the very best professionals on the planet only win a handful of tournaments each year. That means that even they go home a loser most weeks. They seek improvement, effort and playing at their optimal performance level over stressing about having to win every day. In sunny Southern California, a typical girls 14’s designated open tournament may have as many as 250 participants. Only one player goes home the winner and two hundred forty nine go home losers. Yes, everyone’s primary objective is to win. Parents have to lead the way in focusing on performance goals. The players who can focus on the process are controlling the controllables versus worrying about issues out of their control.

 

“Control the controllables and let the uncontrollables go.”

 

It’s important to note that children aren’t born naturally obsessing about the outcome of a tennis match. It’s a learned behavior. The parental job is to shift this behavioral focus. Remember the previous question regarding the old school parent that didn’t want their child to smile and laugh? The same performance anxieties are magnified by a parent who only cares about winning. It’s the parent’s primary role to DE-STRESS their athlete. By injecting worry and fear into every practice session, an ill-informed parent adds stress that ultimately increases muscle contractions, decreases fluid movement, impairs judgment and reduces the athlete’s problem solving performance skills. Athletes improve at a quicker rate in a calm relaxed mental state.

 

“Neurological studies prove that worrying about the need to always win sabotages any real chance of reaching peak performance.”

 

Parents and coaches interested in maximizing potential at a quicker rate and dramatically increasing the family’s enjoyment, should flip the question, “Did you win?’ with more constructive statements like: “You inspire me; I wish I could have been able to watch you today.”, “How do you feel you played?”, “Did you hit your performance goals?”, “Did you have fun?”, “Would you like me to go over your match logs with you?”, “Is there anything I can do to help you achieve your tennis goals?”