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Parental Dialogue

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The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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Post-Match Banter

Remember that every use of force, even the smallest, creates a counterforce. Like Newton’s third law, “For every action… there’s an equal opposite reaction.” Parents’ match play observations delivered to an athlete right after the competition create a love of competition or distaste for competition. Here’s an insightful question for us adults: What if our boss gave us their list of everything we did wrong at the end of every day? I know I’d be looking for a new job ASAP!

Solution:

  • Spend a week practicing not giving unsolicited advice to your young athlete.
  • Stop yourself and choose silence.
  • Give your child the time to organize their solutions.

 

Here’s a fact, your words become your child’s inner dialogue at future crunch time. So, if your post-performance banter is repeatedly heard as “you’re not good enough,” guess what they’re thinking as they’re trying desperately to close out another match?

Parents unknowingly destroy the inner belief needed by their junior athletes. Analyzing performance is terrific for those detailed data collectors, but please follow up the analysis by texting your findings to the coach instead of sharing them with your child. Post-match, your child only needs to hear one question from you: What kind of ice cream are you getting today? All they need to feel from you is how much you love to watch them play and how proud you are of them.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

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PREFACE

 

The most important and neglected component of the competitive tennis athlete is their mental and emotional aptitude. Yet, year after year, most athletes and their parents ignore the psychological aspects of the game of tennis. The Tennis Parent’s Bible was my first attempt to call attention to this issue. With great success and professional recognition, the importance of mental and emotional development is finally acknowledged, but a lack of implementation is still an issue over a decade later.

Parents of high-performance athletes have a detailed job description. While their job doesn’t typically involve the development of the sports mechanics or athleticism, it does comprise the mental and emotional aptitude needed to navigate competitive pressures. I wrote The Psychology of Tennis Parenting as a psychological guidance system to assist parents with developing the software their athletes need to maximize their full potential.

I am a Philomath, which is a lover of learning. For the past two decades, I’ve traveled around the world coaching top athletes and examining the role of parenting athletes, and identifying ways to improve those systems. Though I have written many books to help athletes, parents, and coaches fine-tune their training routines, those athletes that have found the most success have had a parent eager to direct the team.

Athletes need mental clarity at crunch time, and this book provides the mental and emotional training pathways lacking in most athletes’ development. A successful athlete on-court is also an accomplished person off-court. Parents devoting time and energy to developing strong mental and emotional skill sets are raising confident and resilient future leaders.

Praise Effort Not Results

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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Chapter One Excerpt- Nurturing Happiness

 

Praise Effort, Not Results

When parents say, “Ethan, if you win the whole event, we’ll buy you a new computer game!”

The reality is that winning is out of Ethan’s control. An athlete can influence winning a tournament but can’t control it. There are far too many variables to manage in a match. Outcome goals create an anxious environment and obstruct the learning process. Parents should instead encourage process goals and view each match as a learning experience. The research is very consistent: praise effort, not results.

Solution: Replace this outcome bribe with an attainable goal, “Ethan, if you hit your three performance goals each match this event, we’ll buy you a new computer game.” Now Ethan is given a goal within his control.

After the tournament, parents should avoid discussing the laundry list of mistakes their athletes made during the match. This negative list of faults destroys your athlete’s self-esteem and confirms that they are broken and unworthy. Parents should send their match notes to their athlete’s coach, and the coach can address the issues during practice. Avoid a post-match verbal attack.

Lastly, parents avoid using their friend’s success against them. Praising their rival’s positive results compounds the pressure. Praising your athlete’s effort instead keeps them focused on the improvement process.

Available Now The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

CLICK HERE

INTRODUCTION

 

It’s our job as parents and coaches to teach the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. The Psychology of Tennis Parenting will help the reader uncover how to juggle both topics. Your family’s happiness depends on your ability to navigate the waters. As I’ve said a thousand times:

Educated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s motors…uneducated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s anchors.”

If your athlete is already competing, you have seen that winning titles requires more than just athletic ability. The prerequisite is a healthy mental state: emotional fitness and psychological strength matter. Our emotions determine our course of action, and these pages assist you in shaping the mental and emotional state of the athlete and their entourage of coaches and trainers.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting is a tool to assist the parents and coaches in forming their athlete’s life skills and positive character traits. Changing bad habits is the prelude to winning higher-level matches. After all, winning and losing doesn’t just happen. The quality of one’s preparation determines success.

This book will teach parents how to educate their children to advocate for themselves, be assertive under pressure, make good decisions, and, most importantly, apply gratitude along the journey.

More Industry Expert Testimonials

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

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“As a former top ATP Touring professional, now the father of two budding competitive tennis players, me and my wife go through all the same junior “pitfalls” as all the other parents. No matter that I was top 10 in the world and my wife played D-1 tennis at Virginia Tech, this junior tennis world is full of “derailment points,” none more devastating to a junior tennis player than parents doing the wrong thing.

Frank’s writing is unapologetic and straight to the point. He’s got the guts to share what coaches and parents should be teaching around the world. In this practical masterwork, Frank showcases common problems and provides clear and practical solutions that every parent and coach needs to apply on a daily basis.”

Johan Kriek, ATP, Multiple Grand Slam Champion Florida

 

“I’ve known Frank for a long time. He’s definitely one of the best in the business regarding the mental side of the game. Enjoy this great book.”

Eliot Teltscher, Former #6 ATP, Grand Slam Champion, & Former USTA Director of High Performance, California

 

“In his new book, Frank Giampaolo has succeeded in giving parents profound insight into the most important and difficult issue in creating true champions. In “The Psychology of Tennis Parenting,” Giampaolo shows how the focus on process, effort, and empathy is the true secret in developing great players and great people.”

Tim Mayotte, Former ATP Top 10, Massachusetts

Industry Expert Testimonials

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

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INDUSTRIAL EXPERT TESTIMONIALS

“Frank Giampaolo has written a sacred text for maximizing athletic potential.”

Jon Wertheim, Editor Sports Illustrated, Author, Tennis Channel, 60 Minutes

 

“Frank continues to create tools for tennis players and families to help navigate the pathways of development. This book offers invaluable knowledge to help players & parents navigate the emotional aspects of the competitive environment in a healthy and productive way. A must read, Bravo Frank.”

Paul Annacone, Former Top 40 ATP, Coach of Taylor Fritz, Roger Federer, Pete Sampras

 

“This is an impressive and hard-hitting book. As a clinical psychologist, I strongly recommend it to any parent who wants to help a child reach peak performance. Giampaolo is a celebrated and sought-after tennis coach who understands what works and what doesn’t. Each chapter is power-packed and filled with sound advice on how to maximize performance. There’s no psychobabble here, only what makes practical on-the-court sense. Don’t just buy it. Study and apply its principles as you encourage your child toward athletic excellence.”

Clinton W. McLemore, Ph.D., Founder, Clinician’s Research Digest, Author, Inspiring Trust: Strategies for Effective Leadership, APA Award for Outstanding Contributions to Professional Development in Psychology, California

Preorder eBook for Only $0.99 Cents

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

To order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

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Coming in January The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

WISHING YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND THE VERY IN THE BEST NEW YEAR!

COMING SOON

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TENNIS PARENTING

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The New Year is a great time to re-evaluate your tennis game and organize your training to maximize your tennis potential. Successful competitive tennis demands great mental and emotional skill sets. Be sure to include mental and emotional training along with your technical and athletic training.

Wishing you the Best, Frank Giampaolo

Tennis Training Organization

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

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QUESTION: My Son isn’t that serious. Does he still need a plan?

 

Frank: I still highly recommend organizing a weekly schedule. Regardless of a player’s long-term aspirations, whether it is to play as a professional or simply play as a hobbyist, an organized blueprint will maximize potential at the quickest rate through discipline.

Completing a weekly planner and being accountable for their time and actions are essential life lessons.  A disciplined player may excel and find a passion greater than initially expected or choose to redirect their passion, either way important life skills are nurtured through the discipline of organization.

 

For those parents and coaches saying, “What about the child that only wants to be a high school player?” I remind them that I’ve yet to have a parent come to me and state: “My wife and I want you to train our daughter to be a completely average tennis player!”

 

“An athletes schedule may vary depending on their goals, but their organizational
skill sets will become permanent assets.”

Tennis Player Accountibility- Why is my child losing now?

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

 

PLAYER ACCOUNTABILITY

Player accountability stems from a champion’s mindset- which includes a positive moral compass, core values, and a high standard of behavior. Teach your children that even though the hardest path is often the road less traveled- it is also the quickest way to the top!

 

QUESTION: My daughter is losing to players she used to beat. Can you help?

 

Frank: The quickest way to break through a rut and go up a level is to challenge your child to focus on improving versus winning. Rekindle your daughter’s confidence by adding new tools to her game. Ask your youngster to compete only against herself.  This is a sensational way to progress without the stress. To illustrate this point, I’ll use a student from New York. Her name is Kaitlin. She was also in a rut. Below I have listed three of Kaitlin’s issues and her customized solution.

Issue #1: Negative Emotional Outburst

Challenge: We have asked Kaitlin to focus on reducing the sheer number of negative outbursts by 25 % each match for the next month. The parent’s role is to chart the number of times Kaitlin displays the undesired response. If she hits her mark and decreases her negative emotional outburst by 25 percent, she is a winner!

Issue #2: Serving Second Serves to the Opponent’s Forehand

Challenge: Stop feeding the forehand. Kaitlin serves 80 percent of her second serves to the opponent’s strength. Her challenge is to serve 80 percent of her second serves to the opponent’s weakness. The parent’s role, in this case, is to chart each serve in match play. If Kaitlin can improve her second serve and place it 80% of the time on the opponent’s weaker side, she is a winner!

Issue #3: Beating a Retriever

Challenge: To change the way Kaitlin and her dad think about retriever/pusher’s opponents. The first challenge is to assist them in understanding that they have been misled- thinking retrievers die out in the 12s! In my experience, retrievers are one of the most prevalent styles in women’s college tennis.

The second challenge is to ask Kaitlin, and her parent’s to switch their focus from grooving fundamental strokes to understanding and developing the patterns used to pull those crafty retrievers out of their comfort zone.

A great place to start when rekindling confidence is to list the four main components of the game. Agree to a radical shift in training. Let go of the old comfortable methods and simply choose one key element in each component to focus on in the next month.

 

Kaitlin’s Challenges Include:

Stroke Mechanics: Developing her second serve. (Power, Spin, Placement, Consistency)

Mental: Choosing to hit the shot the moment demands. (Shot Selections)

Emotional: Performance anxieties. (Handling Pushers)

Athleticism: Improved fitness. (Speed, Agility, and Stamina)

 

“Athletes who practice with a deliberate, customized approach usually produce greater benefits in 2 hours than those who invest 6 hours of mindless hitting.”

 

Taking back control requires taking concrete actions. Replacing past unproductive behaviors with new proactive actions is key to rekindling growth.