CONGRATULATIONS to Frank Giampaolo
2019 PTR International Newcomer Tennis Professional of the Year!
Listening to Your Player
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
(The following re-post is a top requested post!)
LISTENING
“Listening is the missing link of communication.”
The ability to listen is yet another crucial tennis parental skill. It’s in the best interest of the tennis parent to create a positive, supportive and communicative environment to maintain healthy parent/child/coach relationships. To illustrate this point, I have included a letter that was written by a teenage girl to her father.
Dear Dad,
What I’m about to say is hard for me. So hard I can’t seem to look you in the eyes and say what I want to say. I guess I’m afraid.
Maybe it’s best this way. Maybe you’ll listen with your eyes since you haven’t been hearing me. Maybe you just want to see what you want to see. That’s the champion you’ve been forcing me to be.
Dad, are you listening?
I know you want what’s best for me. I know you believe all the messages you’re sending will make me a better player. Dad, communication isn’t just sending messages, it’s also receiving them.
Dad, are you listening?
Look at my face, there is no joy. I’m angry all the time. I still continue to play week after week, tournament after tournament. I’m sad. No I’m miserable. Why can’t you see that? Do you notice any of this? I utter how I hate competing. I protest every single practice and yet you push me to try harder. You demand, “Be tougher Sasha, you have to aim to be perfect!” Well Dad, I’m not perfect. I just want to be normal.
Dad, are you listening?
I’m depressed and confused and feel that this life is your life, not mine! I love you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me but I don’t think I want to play tennis anymore.
Dad, are you listening?
Love, Sasha
Receiving this letter was a major blow to Sasha’s father Stan. Because Sasha and Stan were my clients, Stan immediately came to me with his drama. He wanted to know if he should just back off? He couldn’t believe she wanted to quit after all her success and the time she had invested in the sport.
Would gently pushing your child through a difficult stage in their career/development be the right thing to do? You bet! There isn’t a single champion who didn’t have a parent or paid authority figure pushing them past their comfort zone or carrying them when they couldn’t go on.
I asked Stan to ask Sasha this question, “Would it be alright to take a one-month sabbatical?” Then, take her rackets away and hide them. Don’t even mention the word tennis to her. If she never again brings up the subject, then she is done. That means you have a normal, healthy child. Go on vacations, enjoy weekends and appreciate your family.
If the game begins to pull her back, then she’ll be engaged for all the right reasons. It’s about choices. Giving her some time to see for herself that being an average teen, playing video games, texting nonsense to her friends and hanging out at the same mall every weekend isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. She needs to see for herself that the grass isn’t always greener. She’s a great kid. She’s smart. Trust me, just let this play out.
By the tenth night of Sasha’s sabbatical, she was bored to tears. She came into her parent’s room and asked if they can hit a few balls tomorrow -with a new sense of purpose. Sasha went on a tear. She won two national titles in the following months.
Tennis Parent’s Bible Industry Quotes- 4
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Tennis Industry Quotes About Frank’s Tennis Parent’s Bible:
“I have been involved with tennis for 60 years and I have witnessed the development of the modern game. Frank has put together the most complete manual for Parents, coaches and players. I learned a lot from this book. It’s a must for every Parent and Coach who want to make the least amount of mistakes.”
Carlos A. Kirmayr, Centro De Treinamento Kirmayr, Brazil
“My favorite thing about Frank Giampaolo is his willingness to tell it like it is, no sugar-coating. We parents are sometimes treated too delicately by our child’s tennis coach for fear of upsetting the status quo. I know I can always rely on Frank to be brutally honest in our interviews and conversations which helps ParentingAces readers do a much better job of navigating the Junior Tennis Journey.”
Lisa Stone, ParentingAces.com
“Frank is a skilled lecturer & a top teacher. Now as an author, Frank has written one of the most important developmental books I’ve seen in my 60 years of teaching. This should be required reading for every inspiring parent, player or coach!”
The Late Vic Braden’s Review of the First Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
The Tennis Parent’s Bible Industry Quotes -3
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Tennis Industry Quotes About Frank’s Tennis Parent’s Bible:
“The Triangle between player, coach, and parent is full of speed bumps and sharp curves! Everyone wants to accelerate and speed ahead to the supposed finish line. Too often what should be a fun and rewarding journey gets forgotten. kudos to Frank for providing a roadmap to developing a better young tennis player, and a better relationship with their coaches and parents……..forever.
This is a great resource for every coach who wants to develop great players and most importantly, responsible young adults.”
Chuck Gill, President USPTA
“Frank Giampaolo has created a masterpiece for the competitive junior tennis player’s parents. The Tennis Parent Bible, in its’ second edition, clearly spells out what tennis parents need to know and understand about how to navigate their tennis playing children through this maze of highly competitive and performance driven tennis. Don’t think about this one! Just read it!”
Lane Evans, USPTA Elite Professional, iTPA Master Tennis Performance Specialist
“Frank is one of the most knowledgeable tennis coaches in the country. He has written, in my professional opinion, the best and most comprehensive tennis book for parents that I’ve read in my 55 –year tennis career.”
Desmond Oon, Ph.D., Former Davis Cup Coach (Republic of Singapore), Author, Master Pro USPTA
“A first-class book from a first-class coach. Frank is an encyclopedia of tennis knowledge, has extraordinary talents to share and is a model of professionalism. When all of these components come together, an excellent book such as The Tennis Parents Bible appears.
By educating yourself, your children will have better results. This book is a must-read for parents to understand how to educate themselves and to appreciate the extensive process they, their children and their coaches are undergoing while their children are developing their tennis skills.”
Shaul Zohar, Manager, Kiryat Shmona Israel Tennis Center
“The Tennis Parents Bible should be mandatory reading (with an annual rotating online quiz) that’s required for ALL PARENTS for their children to play in USTA events! Seriously. If parent training was required, it could change this sport in a powerful way for generations!”
Joe Dinoffer, President, Oncourt Offcourt, Ltd., USPTA and PTR Master Professional, Dallas, Tx.
“Reading The Tennis Parents Bible is like having a delicious conversation with a tennis guru who is generously sharing all of his knowledge, results, and lessons learned. As a former tennis coach, I’ve recommended this to hundreds of tennis families who come back to me within days overjoyed and excited. They feel like they finally can put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Quite simply it’s your go-to guide that is already a classic must-read for every coach and tennis parent.”
Ian Bishop, CEO of Coachseek, New Zealand
“If you’re a parent who thinks you already know all there is to know…hold on because you’re in for a bumpy ride. This book is like turning a light on in a darkened room. I highly recommend it to any parent or coach serious about maximizing player potential.”
Angel Lopez, USPTA Master Professional, PTR Certified, Angel Lopez Tennis Academy
Tennis Parent’s Bible Industry Quotes
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Industry Quotes About Frank’s Best-Selling Tennis Parent’s Bible:
“A must have, compelling read. The second edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible is a go-to guide to raising world class athletes & young adults. I highly recommend it.”
Peter Smith, USC Men’s Tennis Coach, 5-Time NCAA Champions
“The Tennis Parent’s Bible (2nd Edition) brings clarity to the often terrifying journey of raising a champion. If you read only one book this year… This is the one.”
Dave Fish, Harvard University Men’s Tennis Coach
“The Tennis Parent’s Bible is a must read for any competitive tennis family. This book should be on each parent’s night stand and in every coach’s racket bag.
Craig Tiley, Tournament Director Australian Open, Director of Tennis, Tennis Australia
“There are few people who have earned as much respect in the tennis world. Frank is a positive visionary.”
Dick Gould, Stanford University (The most successful coach in college tennis history.)
“This book is excellent. Parents need it. Coaches must have it! Broad topics with one goal: to make athlete successful.”
Marcin Bieniek, Tennis Island Poland
Industry Quotes
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Industry Quotes About Frank’s Best-Selling Tennis Parent’s Bible:
“This book is a must read for any parent with a child who’s serious about competing in Tennis – or in any individual sport.”
Jon Wertheim, Exclusive Editor, Sports Illustrated
“Even if you think you are an ‘expert’ tennis coach or parent, you need to read this book.”
Johan Kriek, 2-time Grand Slam Champion Australian Open
“The Tennis Parent’s Bible is filled with invaluable information that any tennis parent or coach will benefit from in their quest to help children reach their full potential.”
Nick Saviano, WTA Professional Tennis Coach, Saviano High Performance Tennis
“Frank is quickly becoming one of the games most respected and influential teachers. As the coach of a #1 WTA player, I recommend The Tennis Parent’s Bible to anyone serious about developing a champion.”
Sam Sumyk, Former Coach of Victoria Azarenka
Performance Anxiety Symptoms And Causes – Part 6
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Control the Controllables
Another anxiety reducing emotional protocol is to encourage your athlete to focus on simply controlling that which is truly under their control and to ignore everything that is out of their control. Understand that champions trim the fat and focus only on what they have control over versus outcome issues out of their control. Most performance anxieties stem from focusing on contaminating issues that have no place inside the head of an athlete during competition.
“The player’s performance anxieties lessen greatly when parents stop obsessing about the outcome and rankings and encourage belief, effort, and improvement.”
Ask your child to forget about the outcome of matches for a while. Instead, ask them to focus on being better than they were yesterday. A long-term goal to strive for is to be twice as good this year as you were last year.
Performance Anxiety Symptoms And Causes – Part 4
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Solutions and Cures
Remember the acronym for WIN- W: What’s; I: Important; N: Now. Dummy up and only focus on what’s important now, from pre-match rituals, through each point of the match, to post-match rituals.
Be prepared in every possible way- technical, physical, emotional and mental:
Technical Preparation: The “tool belt” of primary & secondary strokes are all pre-developed and wired for tournament play.
Physical Preparation: Aerobic and anaerobic capacities are ready to handle the long-standing suffering of winning six matches in a row.
Emotional/Focus Preparation: Pre-set protocols/solutions have been discussed and developed to handle any crisis.
Mental/Strategy and Tactics: Pre-set patterns to successfully pull all four different styles of opponents out of their comfortable system of play.
“The very best way to destroy performance anxiety is through growth.”
Performance Anxiety Symptoms And Causes – Part 3
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Solutions and Cures
Individual personalities come with unique frustration tolerance levels. So it’s safe to say that symptoms and cures are often remarkably different. Listed below are the anxiety-reducing strategies that I teach my students to handle pressure. Set aside time to discuss the below 6 performance anxiety busters with your team.
1) Pre-match preparation is essential. Prepare all strokes, patterns, one’s physical body and one’s state of mind properly before each match. Top professionals have a specific routine before and after every match.
2) Keep your self-destruction notes handy. The mental section provided you with a list of ten “Self-Destruction Solutions.”
3) To avoid choking and panicking requires understanding the under arousal, ideal performance and the over arousal state of minds.
4) Emotional toughness is being bigger than the moment. This state of mind requires three months of practicing in the manner in which you are expected to perform versus simply hitting tons of balls back and forth.
Performance Anxiety Symptoms And Causes – Part 2
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Below, I’ve listed four categories of common performance anxiety symptoms. If you suspect that your child’s fear of competition, confrontation or adversity is affecting their performance, it may be time to gather the coaches for an emotional training session. Ask your child to check any below symptoms that they feel describes them on match day. Design a new action plan to overcome each issue.
Match Day Symptoms
Physical Symptoms:
- Shallow, fast breathing
- Increased muscle tension throughout the body
- Increased perspiration
- Feeling dizzy and weak in the knees
- Feeling that your body is on the court but your mind is somewhere else
Mental Symptoms:
- Inability to focus one point at a time
- Overthinking (choking)
- Underthinking (panicking)
- Reoccurring thoughts of failure
- Worrying about others opinions of their performance
- Obsessing about others rankings & successes
Emotional Symptoms:
- Self-doubt in strokes as seen in “pushing”
- Self-doubt in stamina & strength as seen in reckless shot selection (to endpoints prematurely)
- Nervousness, hesitation & fearful performance
- Stressing about uncontrollable variables
- Not taking the time to enjoy the moment
Behavioral Symptoms:
- Not performing match day routines & rituals
- Hurrying & fast pace walking
- Having mini-tantrums, racket cracking or mindless fast walking/play
- Forgetting the basic ball striking functions
- Allowing the opponent or situation to control your playing speeds
Phone/Skype/Email Private Sessions
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Preparing For Pressure EBook
$8.99 -
THE SOFT SCIENCE OF TENNIS Paperback
$8.99 -
5 Hour Training Session
$1,000.00
