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Establishing Expectations and Guidelines

Posted on April 26, 2017 by in Parent Player Communication, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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ESTABLISHING EXPECTATIONS AND GUIDELINES

 

“Being coachable is when the eagerness to improve overrides the fear of change.”

 

Parents and coaches, plan on communicating your expectations to your athlete and entourage of coaches and trainers to develop an important alliance with the team. Defining the behaviors you expect from your athlete’s during both practice as well as in match play will pave the road for excellence in tennis and in life. This is especially important for the beginner and intermediate levels of the game.

 

My Top Twenty Tennis Coaching and Parental Expectations:

  1. Place effort and improvement over having to win the match, social game or live ball drill.
  2. On the court be grateful, enthusiastic and polite.
  3. Arrive 10 minutes before your scheduled practice session to prepare.
  4. Arrive on court dressed and ready to compete.
  5. Avoid complaining or criticizing others.
  6. Give the coach your best efforts and your undivided attention.
  7. When the coach is talking, hold the balls. Stop, look him or her in the eyes and listen.
  8. No cell phones allowed on court.
  9. Move quickly between drills and during ball pick up. Yes, the student helps pick up balls!
  10. Hustle and give 100% effort.
  11. Avoid negative tones, body language, and facial expressions.
  12. Avoid using profanity.
  13. Admit mistakes and understand the cause of the error.
  14. Come to practice with a pre-set game plan and an eagerness to learn.
  15. Be open to constructive criticism.
  16. 16. Be willing to develop your weaknesses.
  17. Stay fully committed and focused for the entire training session.
  18. Rehearse staying focused and in a positive frame of mind for the entire training session.
  19. Be aware of mistake management and unforced error accountability.
  20. Practice in the manner you are expected to perform.

 

“Choosing to train below their capability breeds mediocrity.”

 

Athletes training without their deliberate, customized developmental plan in mind may be putting in high quantity, low quality work. This stunts their growth and tremendously minimizes any chance at performing at full potential.

 

Acknowledge Your Child’s Efforts

Posted on April 16, 2017 by in Parent Player Communication, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

Wishing you a Happy Easter Weekend!

 

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

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MAINTAINING POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

Parents and coaches, your words can both destroy or heal. The belief that you inspire stems from your delivery, your choice of words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and attitude. Be aware of your communication approach.

Acknowledging Your Child’s Efforts

Once a month, throughout the course of your youngster’s tennis career plan on sitting down and writing a letter stating how proud you are of them. Place it on their bed at night.

It’s my bet that most adults could not handle the pressure a serious junior competitor endures day in and day out. Take a few moments to acknowledge how proud you are of their efforts. Thank them for the courage they show as they lay it on the line week after week.

More Solutions to Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 10, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Perfectionism

Evan: I’ve learned the hard way that perfectionism is like lugging around a duffle bag full of 100 lb. weights. I thought it would make me stronger but all it does is keep me from flying. What a waste of time and energy!

Jarrod: I’m hyper critical. I should be perfect because everyone always told me how brilliant I am.  If I don’t finish #1 every time, I believe I’m a failure. I’ve been told I’m defensive towards criticism, but the ones criticizing me are usually wrong.

Frank’s Tips: Perfectionism is toxic self-abuse. The very best athletes in every sport are only excellent… Not Perfect. Aim for 90% versus 110%.  This allows for wiggle room, while still being consistently excellent.

 

Negative Self-Talk

Evan: I remember you had our whole family play the FLIP IT game. Remember? Every time someone said a negative comment the rest of us would say “flip it!”  Man, we told Jarrod to “flip it” like a thousand times!

Jarrod: Oh yeah, but remember? Dad was worse than me! Every sentence out of his mouth started with:  “The problem is…” I’m actually only negative when things aren’t perfect.

Frank’s Tip: We listen to ourselves more than any other person. This is due to our inner dialog. Are you constantly lifting yourself up or tearing yourself down? Our inner chatter should sound like we’re talking to someone we love.

 

Strengthening emotional aptitude requires focusing optimistically on improving any of the above ten performance anxieties by applying the suggested tips. For most athletes, the likely cause of experiencing anxiety is emotionally experiencing failure …in advance.

Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 6, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Fear of Performing in Front of People

Evan: It’s really the fear of not being good enough, wouldn’t you say? The fear of letting friends and family down and giving the naysayers proof that they’re right. It’s more pressure to play to a crowd.

Jarrod: I love playing in front of people. I actually focus better because I want to show them how good I am. My brother is scared of center court… I love it!

Frank’s Tip: Play with fear as the dominant force and fear owns you. You can accept that fear is present but then choose to ignore it. View every spectator as envious of you. You’re on center stage. You’re living their dream. Accept imperfections and enjoy the fact that so many people respect the skills you’ve achieved.

 

Lack of Confidence

Evan: It’s amazing how much more confidence I have in my game with my new found preparation. I believe in my skills because my skills are tested every day. I’m courageous enough to trust my training and it feels good.

Jarrod: I avoid doing things that I’m not good at. I want to win at everything, so why would I try to do something I’m not good at? If it risks me looking bad…I avoid it, I’m not stupid!

Frank’s Tip: Confidence is built upon accountability. It’s the athlete’s daily, consistent accomplishments that increase their trust in their skills. Utilizing daily journals is a great accountability tool used to monitor daily accomplishments.

Establishing Expectations and Guidelines

Posted on March 31, 2017 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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“Being coachable is when the eagerness to improve overrides the fear of change.”

 

Parents and coaches, plan on communicating your expectations to your athlete and entourage of coaches and trainers to develop an important alliance with the team. Defining the behaviors you expect from your athletes during both practice and match play will pave the road for excellence in tennis and in life. This is especially important for the beginner and intermediate levels of the game.

Five Tennis Coaching and Parental Expectations:

  1. Place effort and improvement over having to win the match, social game or live ball drill.
  2. On the court be grateful, enthusiastic and polite.
  3. Arrive 10 minutes before your scheduled practice session to prepare.
  4. Arrive on court dressed and ready to compete.
  5. Avoid complaining or criticizing others.

Foster Emotional Strength

Posted on March 12, 2017 by in Emotional Tennis, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Five More Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Nurture the Love of Competition
Studies show that experiences bring more joy than possessions. The energy of the event is contagious. Athletes should enjoy competing against their past, fatigue, opponents and against time.

Commit to Improving
Being the best of the best (even in your town) doesn’t come without extreme effort. Improve your performance by understanding emotional aptitude.

Recognize That You Can’t Be Normal …and a Champion
Champions lead very different lives than normal people. Being an athletic champion is a daily lifestyle.

Customize Your Training
Realize that diligent customized training trumps social, group learning. Research shows, on average, group training takes up to six times longer than quality private training.

Adopt a Growth Mind-Set
Great skills are cultivated through continuous effort more so than initial talent or IQ.  Without effort…you fail by default. Understand that success starts with the effort of optimism and a growth mindset.

12 Tough Love Rules of Tennis

Posted on March 8, 2017 by in Customized Organizational Plan, Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

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12 Tough Love Rules of Tennis

  1. When you lose, it is usually caused by flawed preparation. Learn from losses and prepare intelligently.
  2. Competition isn’t always fair. Pre-set solutions to deal with it.
  3. When push comes to shove, tennis peers are opponents, not friends. In battle, put aside the friendship until after the match.
  4. If you want to make friends with the top players, you must first beat them … then they will be calling you.
  5. You will not earn a college athletic scholarship training only when it is convenient.
  6. High-performance tennis is a game of keep away… not catch. Rallying back to someone in practice day in- day out isn’t the best use of your time.
  7. Practice in the exact manner you’re expected to perform.
  8. If you think junior tennis is tough, wait until you get to college. College coaches demand that you put in approximately 30 hours a week of hard work.
  9. Playing practice matches versus a slightly weaker opponent isn’t beneath you. It is called: an opportunity for growth.
  10. Only playing up usually teaches you one thing… how to lose. Playing down will assist in implementing one’s game plans and actually learning to stay on script long enough to win multiple matches in a row.
  11. Clean strokes will get you into the event, mental preparedness will progress you into the later rounds but it is your emotional aptitude that will the tournament for you… if you have developed it.
  12. Top national players don’t take summers off. As a matter of fact, they don’t spend school breaks (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, long weekends…) relaxing with friends because they are dedicated to being competing at the highest level and being the best they can be!

 

Coaches, please pass this reality check on to your athletes and their parents!

 

Frank Giampaolo, Best Selling Author
The Tennis Parents Bible/Emotional Aptitude in Sports/ Championship Tenniswww.maximizingtennispotential.com

More Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Posted on March 6, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Embrace Failure
Initial failures are the beginning of the long road to success. They are your teachers. It’s often through setbacks that your customized secrets to success are found.

Step Up and Take Responsibility
A challenge for many athletes is to not allow parents or coaches to routinely solve their problems for them. Solve your problems yourself versus tapping out when difficulties arise.

Take Competitive Risks
Being scared to leave your comfort zone stalls the growth you seek. Take the risk…or grow old wondering if you were ever good enough.

Ask Experts About Their Story
You’ll quickly realize that failing is what winners do often. Winners often don’t have the most physical talent. They most often possess the positive emotional qualities you seek.

Organize a New Developmental Plan
Success stems from spectacular preparation. A brand new deliberate, customized developmental plan along with intelligent game day preparation could make all the difference in the world.

Five Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Posted on March 2, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order  

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Five Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength:

Apply Positive Visualization
Winners use positive visualization by imagining themselves executing their best patterns and plays without hesitation. Less successful athletes are overcome with negative visualization, which of course overwhelms their thought processes with visions of failure.

Train Under Game Day Stress
Athletes need to train much more than just their physical techniques and athleticism in practice. They have to get comfortable… being uncomfortable.

Rehearse Tolerance
Overcome hardships and pain in practice. Simulating stress in practice provides you with the opportunity to conquer your emotional demons. By doing so, reoccurring game day negative thoughts are replaced by positive thoughts such as: “I’ve done this before, I’ve conquered this several times and I know I can overcome this again because I have done it often.”

Learn to Compartmentalize Emotions
Great athletes stay in their optimal performance frame of mind during discomfort by staying on script (pre-set protocol). This entails choosing to mentally focus on the job at hand by overriding the emotional contaminants, thus not letting emotions control the show.

Stop Feeding Negative Emotions

Flip constantly feeding the problems, worries and fears with customized protocols which feed optimism, courage, resiliency and fortitude. Athletes should have pre-set triggers (words and actions) that help them focus on positive plays and patterns.

Frustration Tolerance Level

Posted on February 2, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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SOLUTION: Identify the Athlete’s Stress Management Profile

Athletes begin competition with their own unique level of composure. To the untrained eye, two athletes warming up may appear to have a similar athletic ability, but once the competition begins it’s an entirely different story. The degree to which an athlete responds to stress depends on their frustration tolerance level.

 

Frustration tolerance is the ability to endure stress and maintain composure when met with obstacles.

 

An athlete’s frustration tolerance level is an essential topic.  It plays a crucial role in why seemingly gifted athletes lose. Below are a few observations regarding frustration tolerance and opposing personalities under stress:

  • Some folks are both pre-wired and nurtured to agonize and over think. Others are pre-wired and nurtured combatants and ready to fight at the drop of a hat.
  • Some athletes become so overwhelmed by the opponent’s intensity that they emotionally withdraw. Other players get motivated by conflict and their energy rises to the occasion.
  • Some personalities are designed to thrive in fast pace settings – increasing their productivity under stress. While under the same stress, other personalities shut down due to the trauma.

I’ve found that the customization and repetition of practicing in the manner you’re expected to perform greatly assist those overthinking agonizers. By applying quality practice sessions (infusing simulated pressure into drills) over quantity practice sessions (stagnant familiar drills) overthinking agonizers can be nurtured to become strong competitors.