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TENNIS BLUNDERS: Ignoring Your Child’s Personality and Body Type

Posted on September 26, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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NURTURING CHARACTER BLUNDERS

Parents, please be more concerned about your child’s character than their rankings because junior success is temporary… character is lifelong.

 

Ignoring Your Child’s Personality and Body Type

I mentioned this blunder several times in this book. Your child has a genetic predisposition to excel at a particular style of tennis. A common parental mistake is assuming that your child is wired like you… It is highly likely they have a different brain type, and they see the world and approach tasks differently than you or their coaches.

I’ve found that by understanding each player’s brain type, body type, and personality traits, similar obstacles, skills- efficiencies and deficiencies, frustration tolerance levels, styles of play, and decision-making abilities are evident.

However, a child’s preferred learning style is a product of both their genetic (nature) and environmental (nurture) make-up. So just as a player’s upbringing plays a role in shaping their future, so too do their desires, actions, and results.

 

Often, my students win their first national title and skyrocket their rankings after determining their personality profile and training them accordingly. Their training was systematically customized to their unique brain and body design, and their rankings greatly improved.

How to Close Out A Match- Part 3

Posted on September 19, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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Scenario Number Three:

Mr. Johnson sends me another 4 page text Saturday afternoon. Essentially claiming that his little Kristin, the best athlete in the tournament, has choked away another match… She was up 5-1 and missed two shots and went off! “She was killing her opponent and then… I don’t know?”

Here is how he described his daughter’s mindless play: fast anger walking, choking, then more choking, racquet cracking, hitting harder and harder and then screaming at herself game after game as the opponent is handed the set 7-5. He writes, “Kristin didn’t even sit during changeovers!”

Solution Three:

First, let’s review choking versus panicking because it is confusing. It’s important to recognize that choking is caused by over-thinking. Dozens of irrelevant contaminants jumble the brain. These include outcome thoughts like: “Who will I play next?”, “What’s my ranking going to jump to?” and “I wonder if I’ll qualify for the Easter bowl after I beat this seed?”

Choking is entertaining irrelevant thoughts during the match instead of the task at hand. What Mr. Johnson described wasn’t over thinking (choking), it’s choking’s evil twin- panicking.

Panicking is the opposite of choking. It’s under thinking. As Kristin’s frustration tolerance level reached its peak, she didn’t think at all. She rushed mindlessly through the rough patch hoping that the quicker she played the quicker she would get out of this bad situation. Unfortunately, the opposite holds true.

 

An analogy to panicking is attempting to get off an iced over road as quick as possible. The faster you move, the more you fall. Slowing down is required…the same goes for panicking in a tennis match.

 

In this panicked state of mind, slowing down to a crawl is the answer. It would serve Kristin to develop pre-set protocols to slow down play and establish her very own between point rituals and changeover rituals. After all, the negative behavior Mr. Johnson described was happening in-between points. Panicking is an easy fix if Kristin is willing to re-focus her attention on the practice court. If your child occasionally goes brain dead and panics in matches, I suggest meeting with their coach and organizing practice sets where your child’s only focus is on their between point rituals and changeover rituals. The art of closing out matches requires players to stop avoiding head to head competition on the practice court. Closing out sets and matches is a learned behavior. It requires dedicated practice. Remember the old saying “Practice doesn’t make perfect…practice makes permanent.”  So, if you want your youngster to be permanently excellent at closing out matches- customize their training accordingly.

How to Close Out A Match- Part 2

Posted on September 18, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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Scenario Number Two:

Steve is a super talented junior. He has not one but two pro level weapons: A 120 mph serve and a killer forehand. When Steve sticks to his “A” plan of crushing serves and hunting forehands, as often as possible, he is unstoppable. His tactical plan mirrors an old student of mine Sam Querrey.

Steve’s issues lie in the fact that his natural physical talent is light years above his mental and emotional skill sets. After gaining a comfortable 4-1 lead, Steve often loses focus on the mission at hand and once again begins to change a winning game plan. This time it is for the sake of variation.

His thoughts race to “Yeah but…if I keep on killing winners with my forehand, he’ll get used to it.”  So, out comes Steve’s reckless drop shots and thoughtless shot selection. He is now in a 4-4 dog fight and it’s all because of his misuse of variation. Steve’s reckless play has reawakened the opponent’s self-confidence.

 

“Steve has successfully deflated his energy while inflated the opponent’s energy.”

 

Now his opponent has recognizes he’s playing a “mental midget.” The opponent is now recommitted to winning this match and is 100% focused to do so.

 

Solution Two:

Variation isn’t always bad. If losing to a better hard hitting baseliner, applying variations is a smart tactical plan. In that situation, mixing the speed, spins and trajectories would pull the opponent out of their comfort zone.

In Steve’s situation, he has the match firmly in control and uses variations because he’s overthinking himself out of the match. Steve’s battle isn’t against the opponent, it’s with his own wandering mind and lack of concentrated effort. Steve’s solution to battle his sloppy play is to ignite a new inner-game.

His mission after building a lead is to play what I call: Mega Tennis: A game in which Steve is to focus his attention on winning 3 points in a row with his same old boring winners. He simply re-challenges himself to replay the game again and again- winning three points in a row. As he is re-focused in the “now,” he’ll actually stops applying reckless variation and wins the set without even thinking about the set.

Mega tennis assists in not allowing an immature competitor to complicate routine matches. This becomes incredibly meaningful in conserving energy for the tougher rounds later in the event.

 

How to Close Out A Match- Part 1

Posted on September 13, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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frank

HOW TO CLOSE OUT A MATCH

 

Imagine that it’s a hot summer day, 102 in the shade.  Every electrical device is on to capacity inside your house. There’s so much stress on the electrical system that it blows a fuse. “Click” … lights out, AC‘s off… everything shuts down.

Under extremely stressful conditions, uneducated junior tennis players do the same. When a junior tennis player over stresses their emotional system, the same total shut down occurs.  Stress plays havoc on their psyche.

 

As contaminants jumble the brain, simple motor programs are lost in the inner chatter. Basic functions like “move your feet” and “just breathe” begin to cease because the brain is cluttered with dozens of irrelevant thoughts. Well-rehearsed performance patterns and plans are nowhere to be found. Heck, some players are so unknowingly stressed they can’t even remember their name.

Below are three real life scenarios and their solutions to help your child identify why they’re not closing out matches.

 

Scenario Number One:

Molly is a strong starter. She routinely performs her aggressive baseline style of play as she opens the set with a 4-1 lead. Once a lead is established, the trouble sinks in. Molly gains the lead by keeping her foot firmly on the gas pedal with a “play to win” attitude. As she begins to see the finish line, she takes her foot off the gas and unknowingly slips into a “play not to lose” mentality. Her amazing ground strokes dramatically change from 80 mph with extreme depth to 50 mph balls landing mid court in the perfect strikes zone for her opponent!

Her thoughts race from “Ok, you got the lead. Now just don’t give it back.” to “The last 5 times I had a 4-1 lead I choked ….so, just be safe and don’t choke another one away.” Molly unknowingly gets tight, begins to push and once again, blows the lead and hands the seed the match.

Solution One:

The system of “playing to win” with Molly’s foot heavy on the gas was working brilliantly. She was winning 66% of the points and controlling the match. Taking her foot off the gas and playing it safe actually changes the exact winning style that earned her the lead. The answer for Molly is learning not to be afraid to lose with her “A” game plan. If her “A” game plan is winning 2 out 3 points- it is a winner!

Sadly, by slipping into her “now be safe…don’t blow it” mode, Molly is elongating the actual drama she is trying so desperately to avoid. Her probable victory turns into a probable slow torturous death. I strongly suggest that when you gain a lead, have the guts to take the match with the same gusto that was used to build the comfortable lead.

 Playing to win for the entire match would earn Molly approximately 70% of her sets. But she doesn’t. Why? Because, Molly doesn’t deeply trust her attacking style of play. Instead she chooses to repeat her reoccurring nightmare – which is switching to playing it safe after gaining a lead. With this mentality, she is earning a 30% winning record. Molly has to have the guts to play to win.

So why does she play so safe? In the younger age divisions, Molly could push and retrieve her way to victory as the under developed opponents simply self-destructed. However, at the higher levels, top seeds have not earned their high ranking by choking against a lesser player. Molly needs to believe in her game and play to win – essentially wrestle the trophy away from the top seed. It would serve Molly well to “over cook” under stress versus “under cook” with her shots.

 

“Molly should play practice sets starting at 2-2 and rehearse over cooking in the later stages of each game and set.”

 

Practice Sessions Dramas- Part 2

Posted on September 5, 2022 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

 

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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frank

 

PRACTICE SESSION DRAMAS

 

QUESTION: Even after a practice set, the first thing my Dad asks is, “Did you win?”

 

Frank: I must say, parents being too outcome oriented is the number one stressor that talented juniors report. This seemingly simple question, did you win, is sure to grow only one thing…the athlete’s performance anxieties. From your child’s perspective, this is seen as an interrogation. Asking such a question stems from the mindset of uneducated, old schooled tennis parents.

 

“Champions are performance oriented, not outcome oriented.”

 

The majority of the very best professionals on the planet only win a handful of tournaments each year. That means that even they go home a loser most weeks. They seek improvement, effort and playing at their optimal performance level over stressing about having to win every day. In sunny Southern California, a typical girls 14’s designated open tournament may have as many as 250 participants. Only one player goes home the winner and two hundred forty nine go home losers. Yes, everyone’s primary objective is to win. Parents have to lead the way in focusing on performance goals. The players who can focus on the process are controlling the controllables versus worrying about issues out of their control.

 

“Control the controllables and let the uncontrollables go.”

 

It’s important to note that children aren’t born naturally obsessing about the outcome of a tennis match. It’s a learned behavior. The parental job is to shift this behavioral focus. Remember the previous question regarding the old school parent that didn’t want their child to smile and laugh? The same performance anxieties are magnified by a parent who only cares about winning. It’s the parent’s primary role to DE-STRESS their athlete. By injecting worry and fear into every practice session, an ill-informed parent adds stress that ultimately increases muscle contractions, decreases fluid movement, impairs judgment and reduces the athlete’s problem solving performance skills. Athletes improve at a quicker rate in a calm relaxed mental state.

 

“Neurological studies prove that worrying about the need to always win sabotages any real chance of reaching peak performance.”

 

Parents and coaches interested in maximizing potential at a quicker rate and dramatically increasing the family’s enjoyment, should flip the question, “Did you win?’ with more constructive statements like: “You inspire me; I wish I could have been able to watch you today.”, “How do you feel you played?”, “Did you hit your performance goals?”, “Did you have fun?”, “Would you like me to go over your match logs with you?”, “Is there anything I can do to help you achieve your tennis goals?”

 

 

Losing Versus Getting Beat

Posted on September 1, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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LOSING VERSUS GETTING BEAT

 

For every 64 talented juniors that enter a six round tournament draw- all 64 have the same outcome goal: “I want to win!” Unfortunately 63 of those players go home losers. Although the nature of the draw format dictates only one champion, not all 63 lose- some of them get beat. There’s a big difference between getting beat and losing a match. Being defeated should be viewed from a new perspective.

 

“Attempting to never make a bad shot stops your athlete’s flow of great shots.  Great winners and correct errors come from the same relaxed, free zone.”

 

Let’s look deeper into the cause of the loss:

In my book, being outplayed by someone is getting beat. It is absolutely fine to get beat by someone who is:

  • Executing their best style of play.
  • Performing their best strategies & tactics.
  • Working harder.
  • Controlling the mega points.
  • Choosing to utilize the rituals they’ve developed.

 

In the above situation, the opponent may actually deserved the victory. On the other side of getting beat, is losing. It is much more painful to lose a match when:

  • Your child is more talented but their opponent is a harder worker.
  • Your child chooses not to employ their best style of play or falls into their opponent’s style of play.
  • Your child makes too many reckless, unforced errors.
  • Your child is too passive to compete at crunch time.
  • Your child doesn’t bother to spot and attack the opponent’s weaknesses.

 

Making your opponent beat you while applying your best style of play is actually a win-win situation. It’s what I call a mental and emotional commitment. When your player is confident and committed to playing their patterns and tactics, they often beat even the top seeds. But even if they don’t win the match, they’ll have no regrets. They will have attempted their best systems and that is all that can be expected.

Parents, please promote that learning to win or getting beat by confidently playing their best style of play is learning to “compete” correctly.

 

“There is a difference between missing the actual shot the moment demands and missing random, reckless shots.”

 

Parents and coaches must acknowledge that by taking the risk to compete, your child will likely lose in almost every high level tennis tournament. Parents must reinforce that losing the correct way, playing the game systems they have been trained, is their best shot at beating the best players.

Practice Session Dramas- Part 1

Posted on August 24, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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PRACTICE SESSION DRAMAS

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Please don’t mistake busy work with progression. If your child seeks athletic royalty status, it’s the parent’s responsibility to be aware who is actually on their child’s practice court training them (head coach vs rookie assistant), what the daily focus is (stroke repetition, movement, mental or emotional training), and how their athlete is being trained (large group setting, semi-private) day-in and day-out.

 

“The practice court is where dreams are either dreamt or actually developed.”

QUESTION: Why does our coach inject laughter into training? I’m old school, I want my child working…not laughing.

 

Frank: Training with laughter maximizes athletic potential and happiness at a faster rate than the old school drill sergeant delivery system. The old school approach was based on conformity. Its outdated system was to place unique humans in a line, depress creativity, disapprove originality and avoid fun. “Do it my way…because I said so” was their battle cry!

Children are naturally diverse. In previous sections we’ve touched upon personality profiling. The role of the teacher is to facilitate each individual’s unique learning system. A great coach offers structure based on the child’s individual learning preference …with the freedom to laugh and explore.  Coaches are hired by you to support, stimulate and engage your athlete and not to stifle them. If you’re still not convinced, read on.

“Neurological studies prove that laughter helps relax muscle tension and calm nerves.”

 

Which student is more likely to engage or disengage? Is it the repressed individual who is afraid to even smile… or the stimulated individual eager to participate?

The task is to improve. Achieving that task requires acceptance and commitment and most children these days are simply too smart to accept and commit to conforming to that old school culture of education.  Modern coaches that include joyful encouragement into their training regimen awaken optimism and curiosity. Once that spark is lit, maximizing potential takes place.

Laughter decreases stress hormones and triggers endorphins – the body’s natural feel good chemicals.  Adding humor to stressful events, such as match play, will help the athlete enjoy the process of learning and the tournament battles. Playing in the zone demands a calm and stress free outlook.
Added Bonus: Laughing is a terrific abdominal work out. Hello six pack!

 

Be aware, if your athlete has an old school drill sergeant coach or parent. They could actually be the anchor that’s holding your child back from accelerated growth.

Between-Point-Rituals and Change-Over-Rituals

Posted on August 22, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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Frank Giampaolo

BETWEEN POINT RITUALS AND CHANGE-OVER RITUALS

 

Most intermediates think, “What’s the big deal with these between point rituals? The balls not even in play!” Unfortunately, this is a result of not properly educating our youngsters about the importance of rituals- early and often. Athletes that neglect to implement rituals are missing an important opportunity to dissect the opponent, relax and recover, and organize future patterns. Their mind is too caught up with contaminating thoughts regarding the ramifications of the future outcome, whose winning on court #6, or any of their invented performance anxieties that have been keeping them from getting the results they deserve.

 

It’s estimated that during a match, the athletes are actually playing in-the-point approximately 20-30 percent of the time that they are on the court. Seventy-eighty percent of the time they’re in between points.  That’s a staggering amount of time. Wouldn’t it be wise if they learned how to put that time to good use?

 

In the 25 seconds allotted in between points, it’s advisable to create a customized 3-part routine that the athlete is comfortable performing each and every point. There are two forms of these rituals that are performed simultaneously:

1) Internal Rituals: I refer to internal rituals as the mental/emotional doorways a player must pass through. I have categorized them into 3 phases: Getting over the last point, planning the next point’s pattern and applying a relaxation ritual.

 

2) External Rituals: These rituals are the routines outsiders see. They commonly consist of taking the racquet out of the dominant hand to relax it, time management routines such as taking extra time to prepare, toweling off, or looking at their strings to relax the eyes. Once an athlete buys into, understands and develops these rituals they’re on their way to a higher level.

 

Parents, along with your child’s coach, schedule time for practice sets with the mandatory between point and change over rituals firmly in place.

 

The second most important “down time” in match play is during the 90 seconds allotted for changeovers. While this is a physical rest-break, it is not a total mental/emotional detachment from the task at hand.

During changeovers, there are, once again external rituals like toweling off and hydrating. It is during this phase of the of the match cycle that important internal routines should be executed. I recommend beginning by briefly thinking only about the previous two games. Assess what went right-what went wrong in the previous serving game as well as the return of serve game. Make a strategic plan to repeat what’s working and to re-vamp what isn’t. After the athlete performs their external routines, they go internally once again and review.

Experienced competitors visualize both their upcoming service game as well as their upcoming return of serve game. They choose to plan on running the same past successful patterns and avoid past failures. Applying this change over rituals will keep your athletes attention in the present-task oriented, peak performance state of mind.

Remember the boxing analogy, “Stop the bleeding”- Shut down their winning patterns and “Cause more bleeding”- Keep pounding away at their weaknesses.

IMPROVING CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEM- PART 2

Posted on August 17, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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The Match Collection

Let’s first look deeper into common stepping stones that will help rekindle an athlete’s confidence:

 

Re-Commit to Getting Fit

Start with being the best athlete they can be. Hit the gym and hit the track – gain strength and improve your stamina, speed, agility.

Clear the Mind: Re-Focus on Tennis

Teens can get derailed by numerous factors including: school, parties, peer pressure, other sports, hobbies, shopping, etc. Re-organize your weekly planner.

Customize the Instruction

Practice in the manner in which you are expected to perform. Build a game plan around exposing strengths while hiding weaknesses. Customize the athlete’s style to their brain and body type. Develop and rehearse the critical Top 7 Patterns of play.

Promote and Educate Independence

Independent problem solving promotes confidence on and off the court. Even though some parents think they are helping, it may be wise to slowly stop doing everything for your little Phenom. (See: “Are You a Helicopter Parent”- found in Section IV Common Questions and Solutions: Parental Accountability)

Surround Them with Supportive People

Positive coaches, trainers and friends with good character are key. Is his new girlfriend pulling his focus in a new direction? Do her new friends at school want to party and shop all the time? Is her coach pessimistic?

Help Others

Ask your athlete to teach the under privileged kids for free at the park and rec or assist the local food bank once a month and feed the homeless. Seeing the positive attitude of someone less fortunate reminds them how fortunate they truly are…

Avoid Negative Comments

Derogatory comments, a negative tone of voice, offensive, threatening body language or even facial expressions can tear down a sensitive player’s confidence. Cut out the negative influences in their life. Pessimism is contagious and very toxic.

Perfectionists Set the Bar Too High

Unrealistic expectations kill confidence. Parents, just because your son won last week’s tournament, don’t expect him to win every one from now on. Players, a sure fire way to disable your confidence is to expect perfection. Even if you’re in the zone for a while, it’s a borrowed experience. No one owns the zone. No one stays in the zone and lives there year around.

 

“Parents and coaches, it’s important to communicate to your athlete that they can’t go back and rewrite a better past…but they can start today and write a better future.”

 

IMPROVING CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEM- PART 1

Posted on August 15, 2022 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

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IMPROVING CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEM

 

Regardless of the reason, athletes who begin to doubt their true capabilities need to flip their negative outlook before their negative beliefs ruin their practices and performances.

 

“A positive outlook is a prerequisite to positive performances.”

 

A lack of confidence can stem from a singular reasons or a combination of reasons. As always, solutions are dictated by their cause.

Typical Causes of Low Confidence:

1) Athlete has slacked off in their weekly training regiments…

2) Athlete has not trained efficiently (quantity not quality)…

3) Athlete is injured, sick or are returning to the game after an injury or sickness…

4) Athlete’s pessimistic attitude is getting the best of them…

5) Athlete has under-performed in recent competition and lost a few close matches to players they believe they should beat…

 

Rekindling confidence starts with a rebuilding of the belief systems.

 

“Confidence is a progressive spiral of numerous positive inputs which leads to a positive attitude…
which in turn leads to new positive actions that leads to positive results.”