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Tennis Training- Listening Part 2

Posted on April 24, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Those of us who fail to abide by the above guidelines send damaging subconscious “red flags” to the athlete in regards to the student-teacher relationship. Parents and coaches who are poor listeners send the following messages to their athletes:

  • Your opinions and views aren’t as important as mine.
  • Your feelings are ridiculous and stupid.
  • I’ll explain your position more accurately than you.
  • Listening to you is a waste of my precious time.
  • I’m superior, stop talking and I’ll prove it once again to you.
  • There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard a million times.

Being a thoughtful teacher and communicator begins by being an empathetic listener. Great listeners change the student’s perspective from a problem being a catastrophic event to an issue that is a solvable opportunity for growth.

Questions That Motivate Dialog

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete for their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regard to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

 

Tennis Training- Listening Part 1

Posted on April 22, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Effective Listening

 

The modern challenge of parenting and teaching tennis players is to let go of thinking like a repetitive “paint by the numbers” painter and to look at developing an athlete as a form of art. Teaching is art because each student is an original canvas.

Famous artists paint unique, one of a kind subjects and so should you. Don’t be another painter, be an artist because teaching is art. If you’re a “paint by the numbers” coach or parent, chances are you, and your athletes will never really be in high demand. Average parenting or coaching skills often produce average athletes. If you’re a coach, think about the athlete’s needs. Who wants to be an average athlete? No one! If you’re a parent, your child doesn’t need a well-intended yet mediocre tennis parent making the journey more difficult. They need a high IQ leader.

 

“We are taught how to read & write efficiently but not to speak and listen effectively.”

 

The genesis of The Soft Science of Tennis for any parent or coach is to learn to be an effective listener. Effective listening is the ability to quietly give one’s undivided attention which creates a more profound bond. Excellent communication between the athlete, coach, and parent is more than the typical dominating disciplinarian versus submissive student. Being listened to and understood is one of an athlete’s greatest desires.

The method in which a parent or coach asks questions and listens is also important. If the athlete views the questions as an intimidating interrogation, they feel frightened and pressured. There is indeed an optimistic demeanor that encompasses effective listening.

Effective Listening Begins with:

  • Get down, physically, to the student’s level.
  • Take off your sunglasses and look them in the eyes.
  • Give them your time. Listen intently.
  • Assume you can learn from the student.
  • Accept their view (set aside your beliefs).
  • Allow them to lead, go with their flow.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say, “Let’s explore that…”
  • Understanding that talking “at” someone isn’t power. Listening is power.
  • Avoid speculating and jumping to conclusions.
  • Maintain their conversational pace and fight the urge to interrupt.
  • Allow them to finish their thoughts and sentences.
  • Focus on spotting key objectives and phrases to discuss later.
  • If you’re planning witty responses, you’re typically not actively listening.
  • Remember, some athletes aren’t seeking advice; they are seeking an empathetic ear.
  • After discussing the issue, ask them for their solutions before offering your solutions.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear your thoughts.
  • Avoid one-upmanship statements to prove that your past experience trumps theirs.
  • Avoid saying, “I told you so!” Even when you told them so.
  • Facilitate your relationship by applying empathy.
  • Mirror their feelings within the context of their conversation.
  • Follow their train of thought with nodding, caring facial expressions and body language.
  • Re-state their points to clarify that you understand them correctly.
  • Affirm their frustrations. “That sounds difficult, how did you respond?”
  • To keep the focus on them, ask, “How did that make you feel? Versus “Here’s what I would have done!”
  • Conclude with a summarizing statement to ensure that their information was received correctly.
  • Organize future, agreed-upon solutions and job descriptions.

 

WHY Mental and Emotional Tennis Training?

Posted on April 20, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

The Soft Science of Tennis

During the past three decades, the business of tennis coaching has become much more scientific. Biomechanics, technique, and technology have changed the hardware (strokes and athleticism) for the better, yet, the software (mental and emotional) has been routinely ignored.

 

frank

I was fortunate to begin my career at The Vic Braden Tennis College as a tennis instructor. Back in the 1980’s stroke production was the focal point. As I opened and directed tennis colleges throughout the country, I had the opportunity to work with top nationally-ranked athletes and touring pros. It was then that I realized that although stroke production was fundamental to the game of tennis, it was by no means the whole story. I found that the athletes with sound hardware (strokes and athleticism) and under-developed software (mental and emotional components) struggled in competition. So, for the past 20 years, I’ve immersed myself in the study of the athlete’s competitive software.

 

When Sergey Brin and Larry Page founded Google in 1998, they believed that only techies understood technology, so they set the companies hiring algorithms to employ computer science students from elite Universities. Fifteen years later Google began Project Oxygen to test their hiring methods. The conclusion of the research project shocked everyone. Among the seven most valued qualities of Google’s top employees, technical expertise came in dead last. Interestingly, what proved more important to their corporate culture was SOFT SKILLS.

The following are the seven essential personality traits Google prioritizes in their hiring process:

  • Effective Coaching Skills
  • Effective Communication and Listening Skills
  • Empathy and Support for Others
  • Effective Critical Thinking Skills
  • Effective Problem Solving Skills
  • Ability to Connect Across Complex Ideas
  • Technical Expertise

Since exposing these findings, Google takes soft skills very, very seriously. Like Google’s search engine business, most of the tennis-teaching industry assumes that hard skills (biomechanics and tennis technical knowledge) are most important.

The Soft Science of Tennis,  shares insights as to why soft skills matter and their significance may be more important than we were led to believe. The beliefs of athletes are directly influenced by their interactions with coaches and parents. After all, great coaching requires great collaborating, which is at the heart of The Soft Science of Tennis.

This book is designed to improve our tennis-specific soft skills that are the behaviors that enable us to connect more efficiently. Soft science characteristics are learned behaviors, and when properly nurtured lead to more effective and harmonious development of our athletes.

In the two years, it took me to research and write this book, the one reoccurring theme throughout this journey was “invest in the person, not just the player.” Whatever industry your athletes choose, whichever position they desire, they’ll take their soft skills with them for the rest of their life.

 

To Order The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here  soft science

Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 3

Posted on April 18, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

soft science

Benefits of Competition for Fixed Mindsets

Many undeniable, positive aspects stem from tournament competition.

Advantages include:

  • Competition keeps us honest: It allows us to assess our strokes and movement efficiencies and deficiencies. Exposing our strengths and hiding our weaknesses is an important function of match play.
  • Competition assists us in the art of opponent profiling. Without match play, there’s no dissecting because there are no opponents.
  • Competition exposes our mental fortitude. The ability to stay on Script (your customized game plan), strategy and tactics the match demands.
  • Competition through failure and success helps us develop a massive list of life skills, positive character traits, and a moral compass.
  • Competition aids in developing consistent quality. Winning a 64 draw event requires peak performance for approximately 15 sets.
  • Competition assists us in customizing our future developmental schedules. It’s not the quantity of on-court time; it’s the quality that counts.

 

Tennis mastery is a process of continuous adaptation and improvement, which is a growth mindset system.

 

Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 2

Posted on April 17, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

frank

Recognize the Negative Dialog

Athletes with a pessimistic viewpoint have a running dialog that continually persuades them that they don’t honestly have enough talent, and if they fail, they will be criticized for trying. Many athletes invent an excuse or injury and avoid competition. By doing so, they keep their dignity and ego in check.

 

The following two solutions will help challenge the fixed mindset worrywart to consider adopting a growth mindset warrior attitude.

  1. Explain that Mindset Is a Choice

Their mental habit is to choose to interpret competition as a serious personal threat. Fixed mindset athletes are typically worried about what could and will go wrong versus what could and will go right. This pessimistic view tears down the will to give 100% effort. Changing from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset is challenging because the athlete has an onslaught of two simultaneous opposing demands. One is the need to suppress their pre-set, negative mental habit and two is to be open to learning to embrace the exact opposite viewpoint.

  1. Present the Opposing View

Fixed-mindset athletes need to be reminded that improving and growing requires a metamorphosis into a growth mindset. As these students ramp into tournament mode, be on high alert for their worry, stress, and fears to multiply. They view tournament competition as an event that will expose their shortcomings. It’s our job to present tournament play as a healthy way to assess their development necessary to obtain their goals.

Warning: Responding to and changing their negative banter is emotionally draining even for the well-equipped software developing coach.

Examples of a fixed mindset approach include:

Athlete: “I can’t play, my games not perfect yet. I’m not ready.”

Teacher: “Every time you compete, you learn and improve, and that is the goal.”

Athlete: “If I don’t compete I won’t fail, and I can keep my pride.”

Teacher: “The only true failure is being too scared to try.”

Training the stroke components is only the beginning of a world-class coach’s journey. Having the tools to develop the whole athlete is the end game.

  1. Religiously Spot the Positive

On practice days, I recommend applying the laws of attraction. Destroy their pessimistic point of view by asking them to say “yes” after performing a desired stroke or pattern of play. By doing so, it brings to light just how many good strokes they actually hit. This exercise combats their mental habit of focusing on the negative. Success starts by focusing on successes versus failures. It requires changing their doubt in their abilities because their doubt directly undermines their progress.

Once these pessimists see the progress in their abilities, they begin to show positive character traits and critical newborn life skills.

  1. Commit to Playing One Game

On match days, fixed mindset “red flags” are everywhere as they try desperately to self-sabotage their performance. By doing so, they’re building their arsenal of excuses for their ego out. “I would have won, but I didn’t have time to train.” “I could have won if I didn’t have this blister on my thumb.”

Also, typical with fixed mindset athletes is to try desperately to back out of competition the morning of the match.

The negotiation tactic I recommend is to ask them to enjoy their pre-match preparation and commit to playing at least one game. If the athlete still wants to default out after one game, that’s fine. Once in the match, they almost always see that the environment is not as threatening as they perceived. The opponent’s not as good as they imagined. So they play a few more games.

Teach my growth mindset philosophy: You have to be present to win. Opportunities and incredible victories present themselves if the athletes are willing to try.

 

Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 1

Posted on April 15, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

soft science

Changing Fixed Mindsets

Last week two top juniors, Steven and Josh were closing out one of their semi-private, two-hour sparring sessions. Josh from Boca Raton, Fl. has a natural inquisitive growth mindset. Steven, from San Francisco, California, possesses a defeatist attitude with his fixed mindset. Steven’s a perfectionist and believes only perfect performances are acceptable.

As Steven was leaving Josh asked me if he could ask me a couple of questions. While I was packing up my gear, Josh asked, “Being solid at crunch time isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you have to develop, right?” “Absolutely,” I replied. “Well, Steven doesn’t think he can win the whole Anaheim tournament next weekend, so he says he doesn’t want to go. He’ll probably fake an injury or something. His story is getting old. I don’t understand why he puts so much pressure on himself to win. Even though I want to win every tournament I enter, I’m happy to play well. You know one point at a time.  I hope to learn from my losses by working harder to improve. So by competing, I’m increasing my tennis intelligence and raising my level, right?”

I confirmed Josh’s position and then said, “A growth mindset is about the journey of seeking mastery, instead of viewing losses as catastrophic.  You can see losses as information gathering opportunities, and that buddy is why you’re going to be famous!” Josh smiled, rolled his eyes and said “Good talk coach…good talk.”

We’ve all had students who have high IQ’s (Intelligence Quotient) but low EQ’s (Emotional Quotient). These athletes are wired to avoid risk while they witness others thrive in competition.

A challenge within The Soft Science of Tennis is to educate these students that their mindset is only their perception of their abilities. After the athlete’s stroke development is said and done, it’s their optimistic or pessimistic attitude that determines competitive success on the tennis court. It is within the parent and coaches job description to develop the power of belief along with a powerful forehand.

Fixed Mindset individuals innately believe that their abilities are inborn and unchangeable.

Growth Mindset individuals trust that their skill sets can and will be developed and improved.

In my observations, fixed mindset students are typically overly sensitive to being wrong. They see failing in competition as catastrophic. If they lose, it’s often something or someone else’s fault, and constructive criticism is taken as a personal insult. Changing this mindset is one of the most challenging roles of a parent or coach.

Physical Skills Versus Life Skills

Posted on March 9, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.

 

Frank Giampaolo

Physical Skills Versus Life Skills

 

Marcus is a gifted tennis player from Phoenix, Arizona. At 16 he possesses incredible athleticism. He’s 6’3” and is ripped. His speed, agility, and stamina are off the charts. His tennis-specific skills are also above average. He possesses a huge serve and a killer forehand. Marcus’s UTR is hovering around 10.8. College coaches recruiting should be salivating for him, but sadly for Marcus and his folks, tennis scholarships are not being offered.

 

The red flags that the experienced college coaches quickly identify are underdeveloped character traits and life skills. You see, Marcus can’t communicate with others, and when he does, a storm of pessimism engulfs everyone around him like a dark cloud. As for his life skills, the college coaches quickly pick up on the fact that he’s late for their meetings, unorganized, and blames others for his downfalls. On-court Marcus shows irrational anger, reckless shot selections, and a lack of perseverance, adaptability, and resiliency even in practice match play. Due to Marcus’s underdeveloped software, his D-1 College dreams won’t be coming true. It’s within the job description of coaches and parents to teach positive character traits and life skills along with their tennis skill sets.

 

High-performance tennis is the combination of four required skill sets: character skills, life skills, athleticism, and tennis-specific skills. Customized training focuses on all four of these components, however, the degree of focus is based on the athlete’s specific needs. It is the job description of a progressive coach to navigate the mastery of all four of these skills effectively.

 

 

  • Character Skills

Character skills are productive personality traits. These habits include empathy, interpersonal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others, a positive-optimistic attitude, ethics, morals, and leadership traits.

  • Life Skills

Life skills are defined as the abilities to thrive within the challenges of an athlete’s everyday life. These include cognitive skills for analyzing performance and personal skills for organizing developmental plans and managing oneself.

  • Athletic Skills

Athletic skills are defined as the physical qualities that are characteristic of well-rounded athletic individuals regardless of the individual sport. Athletic skills include upper and lower body strength, fitness, stamina, speed, core balance, and agility.

  • Tennis Skills

Tennis skills are the particular skill sets that define a high performance-tennis specific athlete. Experts in this field possess a complete tool belt of strokes, tactics, strategies and of course, emotional aptitude to compete at the higher echelons of the game.

 

I work primarily with nationally, and ITF ranked juniors, college athletes, and young touring professionals. Athletes at this level are successful due to their skills management. In my world of high-performance athletes, stats are important because they help customize the athlete’s training regimen.

In regards to stats, the following are the typical percentages ratios of physical skills to life skills that I have witnessed throughout the three primary stages of junior tennis. I’m convinced that positive character traits and customized life skills development hold the secret key to maximizing athletic potential.

At Ages: 7-11, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 40%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 10%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 40%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

In this introductory stage, there is nothing more heartbreaking than the estimated 40% of gifted athletes I see with zero desire or work ethic (AKA life skills.)

 

At Ages: 12-15, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 25%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 45%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 5%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 25%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

In this developmental stage, the medium talented athletes with customized developmental plans and well-nurtured life skills begin to shine. Simultaneously the gifted athletes with poor nurturing, and life skills development are dropping out.

At Ages: 16-18, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 70%: Medium talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 20%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 0%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

At the top of the junior tennis food chain, life skills trump physical talent.

The outcomes (wins and rankings) are contingent on how well the parents and coaches deliver the four skill sets and how adept the athlete is at assimilating this information.

 

As youth sports researchers often say, “Life skills are purposely taught, not hopefully caught.”

 

The following chapters will identify the hidden benefits of life skills and character building. Life skills and positive character traits are essential elements found in The Soft Science of Tennis.

NON-Verbal Communication Part 2

Posted on March 6, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.soft science

Utilizing Written Communication

The human brain is divided into several regions. Each region processes different forms of incoming information. Listening to verbal instruction engages the auditory region of the brain, while physically writing notes engages the spatial awareness region of the brain. Athletes who collect data in two regions of the brain have a greater chance of retaining a higher proportion of key facts and recalling the information later in competition.

Post Lesson Written Reviews

I have been applying post-lesson written reviews for decades. My athletes are encouraged to take the last few minutes of their training sessions to write down their top lesson topics and future action plans. Some of my current students still prefer the old school paper and pen journaling while others use their cell phone notepad and to-do apps. Either way, written reminders are an important version of nonverbal communication.

Benefits Include:

  • Writing lesson reviews work to preview the athlete’s developmental plan via time management.
  • Documenting helps to de-stress and relax the athlete as it unloads cognitive baggage. Athletes can read and re-read their notes to review the lesson.
  • It’s estimated that within 24 hours, up to 80% of what our students learn they soon forget. Writing it down helps athletes to digest more information.
  • Writing down important solutions helps re-enforce recall. It enables the athlete to memorize more efficiently and recall as needed.
  • Documenting assists in organizing and assimilating the new information received.
  • Writing down solutions acts as the first visualization rehearsal further solidifying the memorization of the data.

The Soft Science of Tennis aims to improve the learning curve. Applying these methods maximize athletic potential at a quicker rate.


 

NON-Verbal Communication

Posted on March 3, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.

frank

“Communication is less about what is being said and more about how the words are decoded by the listener.”

As coaches and parents communicate with their athletes, the athlete’s personality profile acts as a filter as they decode the information. Some athletes are wired to accept and enjoy the analysis of cold hard facts while others are wired to overlook the facts and instead zone in to the emotional climate of the conversations. Each athlete connects the dots and paints the picture they choose to hear. An individual’s personality profile determines how one communicates. (We will interpret personality profiles in greater detail in coming chapters.)

Is state of the art instruction about the instructor’s proficiency in performing drills, or is it about the instructor’s ability to connect with their student? Communicating above or below the digestion rate of the student is ineffective. While tennis knowledge and drilling efficiency are important, I believe a master teacher connects to the student and monitors the rate in which each student digests information. As we saw with Wendy and her father, the message received within the dialog is much more than the facts.

As I researched how to sharpen my communication skills, I realized that the way in which information is presented influences the outcome. I learned to focus on communicating honestly and with authenticity, but also to consider stressing or de-stressing the learning environment based on the energy in the room.

Successfully communicating the facts is highly dependent on WHAT message is being delivered and HOW the message is being delivered. The following list offers eight techniques I recommend applying to communicate effectively:

  • Intertwine sports science facts with personal, emotional storytelling.
  • Impart humor within a conversational tone to bond the relationship.
  • Avoid a distancing style with an elitist attitude and academic language.
  • Use inclusive pronouns like “We all need to…”
  • Apply cadences, rhythms, and dramatic pauses to accentuate meaning.
  • Vary their volume from a scream to a whisper to deepen the message.
  • Pull listeners in by modifying the pace of delivery from excited and fast to dramatic and slow.
  • Match and mirror the listener to make them more comfortable.

Great communicators presenting in groups or one-on-one have developed their presentation power. Armed with a full toolbox of delivery methods, they trade in intimidating, interrogating and dictating with sharing everyday experiences to engage the audience which is the heart of genuinely connecting.

I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?

Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:

  • I love watching you play!
  • I’m so proud of you.
  • I’m impressed by your skills.
  • I’m so grateful to be your parent.
  • You are so brave.
  • It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on-court.
  • You are so creative and skillful.
  • I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
  • It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
  • I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
  • I admire your courage to compete.
  • Your optimism is contagious- I love it when you smile.
  • This is my favorite part of the week.
  • I love being your parent and/or coach.

Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system.  Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)

All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.

The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.

 

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Dalai Lama

Effective Listening- Part 2

Posted on February 24, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.

soft science

Questions That Motivate Dialog

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete for their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regard to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

 

Verbal Communication in the Digital World

It’s no secret that modern adolescents are obsessed with social media, tweeting, and texting. Kids are nurtured from the cradle to communicate through screens instead of interpersonal communication. They prefer texting over talking. It’s the world in which they live.

Research in the field of communication found that a third of American teenagers send more than one-hundred texts a day. They want to feel a personal connection, engaged, inspired and understood…they just don’t know-how.  The combination of their ineffective speaking skills combined with our weak listening skills is hurting the development process.

 

Listening “Between” the Words

Exceptional listeners filter through conversations to identify the true meaning behind their athlete’s words. The ability to “listen” between words helps the listener discern if the student seeks constructive criticism or only a sympathetic ear. Attentive listeners recognize anomalies that enable them to identify the beliefs, attitudes, and feelings behind words. This allows them to interpret the athlete’s spoken truth, fiction, optimism, pessimism, expectation, intentions, trust, past mental habits, and belief systems.

 

“An athlete’s belief system crafts their future. Every syllable they speak engages energy towards them or against them.”

 

As novice parents and intermediate coaches gain wisdom, they become more in-tune listeners. They discover hidden belief systems behind their athlete’s dialog. Great listeners know there is “subconscious” energy behind words. Pessimistic behaviors are not difficult to spot because all too often, those very same negative thoughts, tones, words, and actions stem from those nurturing the athlete. As the athlete’s thoughts become their words, those words determine their beliefs and play a deciding role in their performance, especially during stressful match conditions.

When effective listening is applied, the athlete’s sequence of thought-speech-action becomes very clear to the “in-tuned” entourage. Please pay attention to the belief systems habitually used by your athletes. An athlete’s affirmations and inner dialog can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic. It should be painfully obvious that their self-coaching either builds them up or tears them down at crunch time.

Some athletes affirm positive results while others affirm catastrophe. Researchers continue to acknowledge the power thoughts have on one’s actions. Studies show how thoughts, beliefs, and emotions affect human behavior. Following, I have listed a handful of tennis-specific phrases from the mouths of our athletes and you can bet your life these habitual beliefs affect their match performance.

Pessimistic athletes project performance anxieties with statements such as:

  • “I’m always worried about failing.”
  • “I’m not good enough for that level.”
  • “I’m not ready to compete.”
  • “I can’t do it…I always blow it.”
  • “I’m not jealous but how is Kelly playing #1 and not me?”
  • “I have to win tomorrow or my life is over.”
  • “I don’t belong here.”
  • “I hate this…I hate that…”

Optimistic athletes project self-esteem and confidence with statements such as:

  • “I can’t wait to compete tomorrow.”
  • “I respect him but I’m going to beat him.”
  • “Competing is fun!”
  • “I trained properly and I’m confident in my awesome ability.”
  • “I’m grateful for the privilege of playing.”
  • “I trust my game and problem-solving skills.”
  • “I love the competitive tennis lifestyle.”
  • “I appreciate all the love and support from my parents and coaches.”

 

“A man is but the product of his thoughts – what he thinks, he becomes.”
Mahatma Gandhi

 

Applying Positive Affirmations

If one’s thoughts become one’s reality, what exactly is a positive affirmation? A positive affirmation is a positive declaration or assertion.  As optimistic thoughts sink into one’s subconscious mind, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy over-riding old negative beliefs and habits with positive beliefs and rituals. Positive affirmations sound like silly fluff to specific personality profiles but they are proven methods of emotional improvement. When applied religiously, positive affirmations have the ability to rewire the chemistry in your athlete’s brain. Elite athletes believe in their potential.

 

Assignment

Ask your athletes to customize ten positive affirmations that will help their self-esteem and confidence. Then ask them to read them aloud into their cell phone voice-recorder app. Finally, ask them to listen to their customized recording nightly as they are falling asleep. As they mentally rehearse their optimistic views, new solution based habits are formed and negative beliefs are dissolved.

 

Effective Listening doesn’t stop with the verbal language. A great deal of information is available from the athlete without them saying a single word. The next chapter addresses the high IQ coach’s secret ability to zero in on gathering critical information via non-verbal communication.