The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order
Developing Confidence and Self Esteem
Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.
Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.
After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla. What is wrong with me?”
If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem. In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.
In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.
Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high-risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.
Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.
Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.
The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.
- Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
- If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
- If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
- What is confidence?
- What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
- Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
- What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
- Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
- In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
- Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
- Where does mediocre training lead?
- What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
- Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
- How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
- Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
- How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?
Memories are Malleable
Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)
In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.
Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.
