I’m excited to announce that my new book: Emotional Aptitude in Sports is scheduled for a fall 2016 release. The below post discusses the role of emotional intelligence in rekindling confidence.
Enjoy the ride!
Frank
IMPROVING CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEM
Regardless of the reason, athletes who begin to doubt their true capabilities need to flip their negative outlook before their negative beliefs ruin their practices and performances.
“A positive outlook is a prerequisite to positive performances.”
A lack of confidence can stem from a singular reasons or a combination of reasons. As always, solutions are dictated by their cause.
Typical Causes of Low Confidence:
1) Athlete has slacked off in their weekly training regiments…
2) Athlete has not trained efficiently (quality over quantity)…
3) Athlete is injured, sick or are returning to the game after an injury or sickness…
4) Athlete’s pessimistic attitude is getting the best of them…
5) Athlete has under-performed in recent competition and lost a few close matches to players they believe they should beat…
Rekindling confidence starts with a rebuilding of the belief systems.
“Confidence is a progressive spiral of numerous positive inputs which leads to a positive attitude…which in turn leads to new positive actions that leads to positive results.”
Let’s first look deeper into common stepping stones that will help rekindle an athlete’s confidence:
- Re-Commit to Getting Fit Start with being the best athlete they can be. Hit the gym and hit the track – gain strength and improve stamina, speed and agility.
- Clear the Mind: Re-Focus on Tennis Teens can get derailed by numerous factors including: school, parties, peer pressure, other sports, hobbies, shopping, etc. Re-organize your weekly planner.
- Customize the Instruction Practice in the manner in which you are expected to perform. Build a game plan around exposing strengths while hiding weaknesses. Customize the athlete’s style to their brain and body type. Develop and rehearse the critical Top 7 Patterns of play.
- Promote and Educate Independence Independent problem solving promotes confidence on and off the court. Even though some parents think they are helping, it may be wise to slowly stop doing everything for your little Phenom.
- Surround Them with Supportive People Positive coaches, trainers and friends with good character are key. Is his new girlfriend pulling his focus in a new direction? Do her new friends at school want to party and shop all the time? Is her coach pessimistic?
- Help Others Ask your athlete to teach the under privileged kids for free at the park and rec or assist the local food bank once a month and feed the homeless. Seeing the positive attitude of someone less fortunate reminds them how fortunate they truly are…
- Avoid Negative Comments Derogatory comments, a negative tone of voice, offensive, threatening body language or even facial expressions can tear down a sensitive player’s confidence. Cut out the negative influences in their life. Pessimism is contagious and very toxic.
- Perfectionists Set the Bar Too High Unrealistic expectations kill confidence. Parents, just because your son won last week’s tournament, don’t expect him to win every one from now on. Players, a sure fire way to disable your confidence is to expect perfection. Even if you’re in the zone for a while, it’s a borrowed experience. No one owns the zone. No one stays in the zone and lives there year around.
“Parents and coaches, it’s important to communicate to your athlete that they can’t go back and rewrite a better past…but they can start today and write a better future.”
FOCUS ON POSITIVE INFLUENCES
“Guidance from a coach or parent with a negative mindset is extremely toxic to a child.”
Exposing and destroying pessimistic beliefs and attitudes is an integral part of my daily mission, both personally and professionally. It’s your job as the tennis parent to eliminate these poisons from your athlete’s world. Sadly, it’s often a parent, sibling, friend or coach that’s feeding the negative beliefs and pessimistic attitudes. It is in your best interest to remedy this issue or remove the negative source(s) from the child’s tennis entourage. Parents, just as it is your duty to remove negative psychology, it is your responsibility to teach positive psychology. Teach belief and confidence, find their motivational buttons, develop their desire and hunger for mastering the game and teach them to embrace the challenge. These positive life lessons are part of raising athletic royalty. If you teach the love of the game and the benefits of commitment, your athlete will progress seamlessly through the losses, technical difficulties, injuries and bad luck that come with athletics.
Allow the tennis teachers to teach, the coaches to coach and the trainers to train because as you know now, the tennis parent’s job description is far too comprehensive to micro manage each entourage’s role.
Mind Sets: Fixed versus Growth
Similar to the two sides of psychology, there are also two mind sets. Coaches often see student’s with either a fixed mind set or a growth mind set. While the athlete’s genetic predisposition is undoubtedly present, it’s most often the nurtured opinions of their parents, siblings and coaches that set their outlook.
1) A person with a debilitating fixed mind set truly believes that they cannot change. They are extremely rigid, view the world as black or white and are un-interested in change. Their unwillingness to accept new challenges often results in remaining average at best.
2) A person with a growth mind set believes that their opinions, outlooks, attitudes and abilities can and will change throughout their lives. Growth mind set individuals are more willing and open to accept change in the name of progress/improvement.
“Raising athletic royalty is a direction, not a destination. What you choose to teach your children now will live on for generations to come.”
I find that parents who encourage both positive psychology and a growth mind set are developing much more than a future athlete, they are developing future leaders.
CONTACT: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
