The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon
“Parents who feel the need to criticize their athletes after completion are nurturing their child’s disbelief and genuine doubt in their future ability.”
Frank Giampaolo
I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?
Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:
- I love watching you play!
- I’m so proud of you.
- I’m impressed by your skills.
- I’m so grateful to be your parent.
- You are so brave.
- It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on-court.
- You are so creative and skillful.
- I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
- It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
- I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
- I admire your courage to compete.
- Your optimism is contagious- I love it when you smile.
- This is my favorite part of the week.
- I love being your parent and/or coach.
Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system. Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)
All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.
The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
Dalai Lama
