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LESSON TWELVE: Pre-Match Entourage Communication
Successful coaches and perceptive parents know that nonverbal communication is the single most powerful form of communication. People don’t need to say anything for their stress, nervousness, and anxiety to be felt and adopted by others.
Before matches, players are trying to enter into their competitive “performance goal” state of mind. If you feel that your parents are unknowingly sabotaging your pre-match mind set, ask them to please read this section with you.
The following chart lists Appropriate and Inappropriate match-day topics for both coaches and parents. Review the chart and circle whether such topics are part of your entourage support system.
Appropriate POSITIVE Conversation
- Preparing equipment and adhering to nutrition and hydration requirements? Yes/No
- Applying warm-up routines (Hitting both primary and secondary strokes)? Yes/No
- Discussing both the player’s and opponent’s A, and possible B game plans, favorite go-to patterns, stroke strengths and weaknesses, movement issues, and emotional or focus issues? Yes/No
- Practicing visualization and imagery routines? Yes/No
- Listing the top three performance goals to accomplish? Yes/No
- Focusing on the process of endurance and competitive fight? Yes/No Reminds you to refer you to match “cheat sheets” if losing? Yes/No
- Provides positive memories of past performances? Yes/No
- Suggesting a short run before going onto the court?
- Reminding you to simply try your best to execute the correct shot (The shot that the moment demands.) rather than worry about the outcome?
- Encouraging you to smile, laugh and enjoy the day?
Inappropriate NEGATIVE Communication
- Discussing the need for a perfect performance? Yes/No
- Explaining why today’s match is the most important of your career? Yes/No
- Describing the consequences of the outcome, such as the player’s spot in the team’s lineup, the team’s position in the overall league rankings, or the individual’s position in the overall rankings? Yes/No
- Detailing how much time or money has been spent on the player’s career? Yes/No
- Placing emphases on outcome goals, such as the ranking game, over performance goals…“She’s ranked 98 spots ahead of us.”? Yes/No
- Adding stress by informing you of your opponent’s past successes…“She’s top 3 in the nation and just won the Super Nationals? Yes/No
- Reinforcing the importance of winning (outcome goals) versus performance goals…Such as being reminded that this will be a huge win for us? Yes/No
- Listing all the good players the opponent has already beaten? Yes/No
- Talking about what others will say “If they win and/or lose?” Yes/No
- Sabotaging you with hints of outcome goals… “If you win, your ranking will skyrocket into the top 20…if you don’t blow it.”? Yes/No
- Giving you last-minute negative advice… such as reminding you about your game weaknesses? Yes/No
ASSIGNMENT: Communicate with your entourage the de-stressing value of appropriate performance oriented communication versus inappropriate outcome oriented communication.
TAKE NOTE: Another side of pre-match communication is avoiding socializing with other tournament players or parents before a match. Keep in mind that competitive tennis at the higher levels is a brutal, individual sport. Unfortunately, other so-called friends or tennis parents may try to sabotage you with the exact negative discussions that a coach is desperately trying to avoid.
Socializing pulls competitors away from their pre-match routines and rituals. Remember, a transformation should take place before each match. You simply cannot transform from a normal person into a warrior if you are hanging out with friends.
Avoid outcome goals such as the visions of winning and focus on the process goals which are the actions necessary to win.
CONTACT: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
