The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
SOLUTION # 1: Say Something Positive
Start and end each day saying something good. Make a great effort to start each conversation with a positive observation. Make it a habit to flip negative thoughts, feelings, and remarks into positive ones. Optimism is contagious, so take the tidbits you learn from this book and empower others, inspire others, and be the optimistic voice everyone respects.
SOLUTION #2: Shift from Negative to Positive Development
In academia, there’s a movement called positive psychology – a commitment to building and improving one’s best qualities. Instead of focusing exclusively on repairing your weaknesses, the positive psychology movement focuses also on improving your strengths. To succeed at the higher echelons of each sport, major strengths have to be nurtured. Though I am not implying that weakness don’t have to be strengthened, I am suggesting that major gains can also be made by improving an athlete’s strengths.
Research shows that life skills development is a byproduct of an athlete’s mindset. Without the proper mindset, improvement in all areas of life is a constant internal struggle. First, let’s clarify the difference between fixed and growth mindsets.
Fixed Mindset: The belief that talent and intelligence are inborn.
Growth Mindset: The belief that talent and intelligence can be developed throughout a lifetime.
With this concept in mind, let’s expose why a growth mindset is a necessity in high-performance sports. Throughout this book, I’ll be illustrating both positive and negative developmental strategies by sharing an informal observational study of two of my students, Evan and Jarrod. The teens are identical twins from Southern California. While their genetics and upbringing are indistinguishable, the boys possess very different personality profiles and views of how this world works.
Let’s see how Evan and Jarrod answer the following developmental questions and how nurturing emotional aptitude actually changes one of the twin’s mindsets …for the better.
Question: What’s your mindset and does it determine your behavior?
Evan: I think I have a growth mindset. I can’t imagine anyone thinking they already know it all…about everything.
Jarrod: Well, everyone tells me I’m super smart. So I guess I’m special. If you’re naturally smart and more athletic, sports are simple. So that must mean I have a fixed mindset, right?
Question: What motivates you to compete at a high level?
Evan: I enjoy the challenge of improving. Competing against the best demands I grow both as an athlete and a person. I see competition as an information-gathering mission. I learn from losses.
Jarrod: I’m just naturally good at everything. I don’t have to work as hard as others, so I guess I am motivated to compete with the best to show them my awesome skills.
Question: In competition, what happens to you when you hit a major setback?
Evan: This is where my growth mindset kicks into gear. I love problem-solving. Those moments push me to grow.
Jarrod: My parents think I quit trying when things don’t go my way. They think I’m not motivated to fight. I hate to admit it, but when it seems like my opponent is going to win, I lose interest in competing and I emotionally quit. I guess it’s to protect my ego or something…
