The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
Question: How did you let go of the need for approval?
Evan: I finally realized that my friends weren’t interested in helping me achieve my goals. They could care less about me. I began to understand that my parents were my number one fans- continuing to support and nurture self-belief, self-confidence, and self-reliance. I also learned to trust and respect those that were looking out for my best interest, which included my private coach. With the support of my team, I was able to let go of looking for approval and instead commit to striving to be the best I could be both as an athlete and as a person.
Jarrod: I guess I’m finally ready to really commit to myself. My constant need for approval from those that could care less about my goals seems crazy… I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I wasn’t thinking! I’m going to make the effort to change. You said a fixed mindset personality can change to having a growth mindset, right? I am ready to forget about pleasing others and commit to my goals!
Constantly worrying about pleasing others takes away time and energy from improving yourself.
To maximizing potential you must take the leadership role in your customized developmental plan. Like Evan, it is essential to surround yourself with those that support, respect and encourage positive life skills. Athletic success requires a team that mutually respects each other and their roles. It is also important to eliminate the influence of those with a fixed mindset because improvement stems from a growth mindset.
Decisions regarding your athletic career should be based solely on the continual assessments of individual strengths and weaknesses – period!
The problem with approval seeking is that it holds your emotions captive. Some athletes have difficulty focusing on their own strengths because they’re constantly worrying about meeting the standards and expectations of others.
