Tag Archives: athletic communicating skills

NON-Verbal Communication Part 2

Posted on March 6, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.soft science

Utilizing Written Communication

The human brain is divided into several regions. Each region processes different forms of incoming information. Listening to verbal instruction engages the auditory region of the brain, while physically writing notes engages the spatial awareness region of the brain. Athletes who collect data in two regions of the brain have a greater chance of retaining a higher proportion of key facts and recalling the information later in competition.

Post Lesson Written Reviews

I have been applying post-lesson written reviews for decades. My athletes are encouraged to take the last few minutes of their training sessions to write down their top lesson topics and future action plans. Some of my current students still prefer the old school paper and pen journaling while others use their cell phone notepad and to-do apps. Either way, written reminders are an important version of nonverbal communication.

Benefits Include:

  • Writing lesson reviews work to preview the athlete’s developmental plan via time management.
  • Documenting helps to de-stress and relax the athlete as it unloads cognitive baggage. Athletes can read and re-read their notes to review the lesson.
  • It’s estimated that within 24 hours, up to 80% of what our students learn they soon forget. Writing it down helps athletes to digest more information.
  • Writing down important solutions helps re-enforce recall. It enables the athlete to memorize more efficiently and recall as needed.
  • Documenting assists in organizing and assimilating the new information received.
  • Writing down solutions acts as the first visualization rehearsal further solidifying the memorization of the data.

The Soft Science of Tennis aims to improve the learning curve. Applying these methods maximize athletic potential at a quicker rate.


 

Effective Listening- Part 2

Posted on February 24, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon.

soft science

Questions That Motivate Dialog

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete for their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regard to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

 

Verbal Communication in the Digital World

It’s no secret that modern adolescents are obsessed with social media, tweeting, and texting. Kids are nurtured from the cradle to communicate through screens instead of interpersonal communication. They prefer texting over talking. It’s the world in which they live.

Research in the field of communication found that a third of American teenagers send more than one-hundred texts a day. They want to feel a personal connection, engaged, inspired and understood…they just don’t know-how.  The combination of their ineffective speaking skills combined with our weak listening skills is hurting the development process.

 

Listening “Between” the Words

Exceptional listeners filter through conversations to identify the true meaning behind their athlete’s words. The ability to “listen” between words helps the listener discern if the student seeks constructive criticism or only a sympathetic ear. Attentive listeners recognize anomalies that enable them to identify the beliefs, attitudes, and feelings behind words. This allows them to interpret the athlete’s spoken truth, fiction, optimism, pessimism, expectation, intentions, trust, past mental habits, and belief systems.

 

“An athlete’s belief system crafts their future. Every syllable they speak engages energy towards them or against them.”

 

As novice parents and intermediate coaches gain wisdom, they become more in-tune listeners. They discover hidden belief systems behind their athlete’s dialog. Great listeners know there is “subconscious” energy behind words. Pessimistic behaviors are not difficult to spot because all too often, those very same negative thoughts, tones, words, and actions stem from those nurturing the athlete. As the athlete’s thoughts become their words, those words determine their beliefs and play a deciding role in their performance, especially during stressful match conditions.

When effective listening is applied, the athlete’s sequence of thought-speech-action becomes very clear to the “in-tuned” entourage. Please pay attention to the belief systems habitually used by your athletes. An athlete’s affirmations and inner dialog can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic. It should be painfully obvious that their self-coaching either builds them up or tears them down at crunch time.

Some athletes affirm positive results while others affirm catastrophe. Researchers continue to acknowledge the power thoughts have on one’s actions. Studies show how thoughts, beliefs, and emotions affect human behavior. Following, I have listed a handful of tennis-specific phrases from the mouths of our athletes and you can bet your life these habitual beliefs affect their match performance.

Pessimistic athletes project performance anxieties with statements such as:

  • “I’m always worried about failing.”
  • “I’m not good enough for that level.”
  • “I’m not ready to compete.”
  • “I can’t do it…I always blow it.”
  • “I’m not jealous but how is Kelly playing #1 and not me?”
  • “I have to win tomorrow or my life is over.”
  • “I don’t belong here.”
  • “I hate this…I hate that…”

Optimistic athletes project self-esteem and confidence with statements such as:

  • “I can’t wait to compete tomorrow.”
  • “I respect him but I’m going to beat him.”
  • “Competing is fun!”
  • “I trained properly and I’m confident in my awesome ability.”
  • “I’m grateful for the privilege of playing.”
  • “I trust my game and problem-solving skills.”
  • “I love the competitive tennis lifestyle.”
  • “I appreciate all the love and support from my parents and coaches.”

 

“A man is but the product of his thoughts – what he thinks, he becomes.”
Mahatma Gandhi

 

Applying Positive Affirmations

If one’s thoughts become one’s reality, what exactly is a positive affirmation? A positive affirmation is a positive declaration or assertion.  As optimistic thoughts sink into one’s subconscious mind, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy over-riding old negative beliefs and habits with positive beliefs and rituals. Positive affirmations sound like silly fluff to specific personality profiles but they are proven methods of emotional improvement. When applied religiously, positive affirmations have the ability to rewire the chemistry in your athlete’s brain. Elite athletes believe in their potential.

 

Assignment

Ask your athletes to customize ten positive affirmations that will help their self-esteem and confidence. Then ask them to read them aloud into their cell phone voice-recorder app. Finally, ask them to listen to their customized recording nightly as they are falling asleep. As they mentally rehearse their optimistic views, new solution based habits are formed and negative beliefs are dissolved.

 

Effective Listening doesn’t stop with the verbal language. A great deal of information is available from the athlete without them saying a single word. The next chapter addresses the high IQ coach’s secret ability to zero in on gathering critical information via non-verbal communication.

 

Effective Listening

Posted on February 21, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Effective Listening

 

 

“We are taught how to read & write efficiently but not to speak and listen effectively.”

 

The genesis of The Soft Science of Tennis for any parent or coach is to learn to be an effective listener. Effective listening is the ability to quietly give one’s undivided attention which creates a more profound bond. Excellent communication between the athlete, coach, and parent is more than the typical dominating disciplinarian versus submissive student. Being listened to and understood is one of an athlete’s greatest desires.

The method in which a parent or coach asks questions and listens is also important. If the athlete views the questions as an intimidating interrogation, they feel frightened and pressured. There is indeed an optimistic demeanor that encompasses effective listening.

Effective Listening Begins with:

  • Get down, physically, to the student’s level.
  • Take off your sunglasses and look them in the eyes.
  • Give them your time. Listen intently.
  • Assume you can learn from the student.
  • Accept their view (set aside your beliefs).
  • Allow them to lead, go with their flow.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say, “Let’s explore that…”
  • Understanding that talking “at” someone isn’t power. Listening is power.
  • Avoid speculating and jumping to conclusions.
  • Maintain their conversational pace and fight the urge to interrupt.
  • Allow them to finish their thoughts and sentences.
  • Focus on spotting key objectives and phrases to discuss later.
  • If you’re planning witty responses, you’re typically not actively listening.
  • Remember, some athletes aren’t seeking advice; they are seeking an empathetic ear.
  • After discussing the issue, ask them for their solutions before offering your solutions.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear your thoughts.
  • Avoid one-upmanship statements to prove that your past experience trumps theirs.
  • Avoid saying, “I told you so!” Even when you told them so.
  • Facilitate your relationship by applying empathy.
  • Mirror their feelings within the context of their conversation.
  • Follow their train of thought with nodding, caring facial expressions and body language.
  • Re-state their points to clarify that you understand them correctly.
  • Affirm their frustrations. “That sounds difficult, how did you respond?”
  • To keep the focus on them, ask, “How did that make you feel? Versus “Here’s what I would have done!”
  • Conclude with a summarizing statement to ensure that their information was received correctly.
  • Organize future, agreed-upon solutions and job descriptions.

 

Those of us who fail to abide by the above guidelines send damaging subconscious “red flags” to the athlete in regards to the student-teacher relationship. Parents and coaches who are poor listeners send the following messages to their athletes:

  • Your opinions and views aren’t as important as mine.
  • Your feelings are ridiculous and stupid.
  • I’ll explain your position more accurately than you.
  • Listening to you is a waste of my precious time.
  • I’m superior, stop talking and I’ll prove it once again to you.
  • There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard a million times.

Being a thoughtful teacher and communicator begins by being an empathetic listener. Great listeners change the student’s perspective from a problem being a catastrophic event to an issue that is a solvable opportunity for growth.