Tag Archives: Developing athletic confidence

Confidence Stems From Culture

Posted on October 22, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

Preparing final cover 3D

 

Confidence Stems From Culture

“Parents, your thoughts and emotions are highly contagious.”

The parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence. Parents can help prepare athletes for pressure by priming confidence through solution-based optimistic dialog. They should also model positive life skills daily.

Parents would be wise to nurture their athlete’s software (mental and emotional skills) as much as they expect a hired coach to develop their child’s hardware (strokes and athleticism).

Let’s look at a typical week. We all get 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That’s 168 accountable hours. If a high-performance athlete is training their hardware with their coaches for approximately 20 hours a week, how many hours are left for parents to assist in the software development? The remaining 148 hours a week offer wonderful opportunities for mental and emotional growth.

Being clutch at crunch time is a learned skill. Understanding how to thrive versus wilt under pressure is developed by master coaches and master tennis parents. Another great question parents should ask themselves:

Is someone routinely mentoring the mental & emotional protocols needed to handle pressure in competition? If not, consistent disappointment is sure to shadow most upcoming tournament competitions.

Parents, if you’re not developing incredible character traits, a moral compass, and essential life skills, who is? Preparing for pressure requires the development of the athlete’s software skills.

 

Parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence.

Confidence Bias: The False Reality-Part 1

Posted on July 29, 2019 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Preparing for Pressure – my book to be released on August 20th. Click Here to pre-order your copy.

 

Preparing final cover 3D

“Every athlete feels pressure; it is how they’ve been nurtured to deal with it that counts.“

I find athletes are far more willing to groove fundamental strokes than to develop the skills necessary for competition. The often debilitating high-pressure scenario athlete’s face during competition is remedied with deliberate mental and emotional training. Athletes aren’t born competitive tennis experts. Performing their best when they need it the most is nurtured.

The US Navy SEAL’s motto, “We don’t rise to the occasion…we sink to the level of our training,” best describes performing under pressure.

Confidence Bias: The False Reality

“Pre-match over-confidence leads to match-day under-confidence.”

Athletes and parents often have skewed opinions of their competitive skill levels. Is it because Molly, once held her own against a much higher level opponent in a practice set in 2019? Or maybe because Mrs. Johnson watches her son Zack hit beautiful groundstrokes while his coach feeds balls right into his strike zone for the entire lesson. These false leaders cause skewed opinions in parents and athletes.

Confidence bias leads to an inaccurate belief in one’s true competitive skill sets. The concern with over-confidence is that the athlete is positive that they have all the skills necessary to compete supremely without actually ever training those skills. False reality result in devastating losses and blame games. The opposite, under-confidence, bias also wreaks havoc under pressure. Some well-trained athletes suffer from their lack of confidence in competition; harboring unjustified negative beliefs or nurtured undermining pessimistic viewpoints. Either way, their lack of self-esteem seriously affects their performance.

The good news is that with proper software development, false confidence from both the parents and the athlete can be re-wired. Re-routing inner dialog through self-coaching is a great start. Athletes who suffer from confidence bias would be wise to trade in some of their hours grooving groundstrokes and replace them with solution-based software sessions.

Preparing for pressure includes the awareness of the athlete’s confidence bias. Allowing false belief systems leads to future anguish.

  “Come tournament day false confidence sabotages.”

 

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 3

Posted on July 14, 2019 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Memories are Malleable

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

 

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills, etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  1. After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.

  1. Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

 

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.

 

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 2

Posted on July 13, 2019 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.

  • Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
  • If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
  • If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
  • What is confidence?
  • What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
  • Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
  • What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
  • In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
  • Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
  • Where does mediocre training lead?
  • What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
  • Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
  • How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
  • Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
  • How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?

 

Managing Fear and Risk Part 1

Posted on August 5, 2018 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

 

I’ve been a high-performance tennis coach for over 30 years. I thrived comfortably in relative obscurity, enjoying the Southern California sun working with nationally ranked junior tennis players and coaching coaches. For 20 of those years, I secretly dreamt of writing my own tennis instructional books to positively impact the coaching industry while traveling the world.

Procrastination dominated those 20 years. I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I lacked the courage to risk leaving my base and losing my successful coaching business if I were to begin traveling. It seemed too dangerous. What if I failed?  What if the books bombed?  What if I wasn’t as smart as I thought?

My internal dialog was telling me that even though I had something special to share, I shouldn’t risk a good thing. I didn’t have professional speaking experience. Why did I think I could write books?

I intuitively knew that I had to risk leaving relative comfort behind and put my old career in jeopardy in order to attract a larger audience and share my experiences and tennis developmental theories. I researched the fear and risk management process and began writing The Tennis Parents Bible. My goal was simply to complete it and if it helped a single parent or coach along their journey that would be a bonus.

 

Back then, no one could have told me I would go on to write four, #1 bestsellers, coach the ITF coaches and speak at the largest conferences and grand slams around the world.

Athletes respond to risk and fear differently. In my experience, while most athletes are initially overly cautious, some are overly adventurous. Success and failure in competition greatly depend on how the athlete responds to fear and risk. Results, both positive and negative, stem from repeated behavior. An athlete’s behavior is created by their attitude. Therefore, understanding and managing our athlete’s attitude toward fear and risk is worth exploring.

A great place to start when managing an athlete’s attitude is establishing a baseline of their thoughts and behaviors concerning the following common stumbling blocks. Begin by answering the following question:

  • Do they have an adversity towards fear and risk? Is it extreme or mild?
  • Are they tolerant towards fear and risk?
  • Do they seek out fearful or risky endeavors? Is it extreme or mild?

Athletes possess different degrees of fear and risk depending on the conditions. For example, in competition, one athlete may exhibit extreme tolerance and grit while playing tennis behind the baseline and extreme adversity and fear when attacking the net. Other athletes may excel on the practice court displaying almost flawless stroke production only to shut down, choke or panic in competition. At the other end of the spectrum, some athletes possess no fear and live for the thrill of competition.

 

“Some extreme athletes hold only mild fear as they seek canoeing over Niagara Falls or bungee jumping over the Bhote Kosi River.”

 

Most coaches hope that their athlete’s strokes and athleticism have authority and command over their performance, but I believe it’s their emotional aptitude that actually runs the show.

When working with players who have issues with fear and risk, begin by asking yourself the following six questions to identify the athlete’s level of emotional awareness.

  • What is their cognitive design? Do they understand their brain preferences?
  • How do they view the feared situation?
  • Do they appreciate the opportunity to be able to compete?
  • Are there past bias or experiences they need to let go?
  • Will they accept a strategic, proactive plan to attack their issues?
  • Are they willing to train correctly for the mission at hand?

 

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem

Posted on August 3, 2018 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem
Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.
Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.

After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla.  What is wrong with me?”

If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem. In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.

In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.

Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high-risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.

Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.

Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.
The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.

  • Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
  • If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
  • If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
  • What is confidence?
  • What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
  • Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
  • What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
  • In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
  • Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
  • Where does mediocre training lead?
  • What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
  • Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
  • How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
  • Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
  • How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?

Memories are Malleable
Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)
In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.
Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

Solutions to Popular Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 23, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

ea-in-sports4a_final

Common Performance Anxieties and their Solutions

 

Fear of Performing in Front of People

Evan: It’s really the fear of not being good enough, wouldn’t you say? The fear of letting friends and family down and giving the naysayers proof that they’re right. It’s more pressure to play to a crowd.

Jarrod: I love playing in front of people. I actually focus better because I want to show them how good I am. My brother is scared of center court… I love it!

Frank’s Tip: Play with fear as the dominant force and fear owns you. You can accept that fear is present but then choose to ignore it. View every spectator as envious of you. You’re on center stage. You’re living their dream. Accept imperfections and enjoy the fact that so many people respect the skills you’ve achieved.

 

Lack of Confidence

Evan: It’s amazing how much more confidence I have in my game with my new found preparation. I believe in my skills because my skills are tested every day. I’m courageous enough to trust my training and it feels good.

Jarrod: I avoid doing things that I’m not good at. I want to win at everything, so why would I try to do something I’m not good at? If it risks me looking bad…I avoid it, I’m not stupid!

Frank’s Tip: Confidence is built upon accountability. It’s the athlete’s daily, consistent accomplishments that increase their trust in their skills. Utilizing daily journals is a great accountability tool used to monitor daily accomplishments.