Frank Giampaolo's Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

The New Year is here and it is a perfect time to re-evalute and organize your tennis goals.  I am asked often about the following post.  The reason I repost it each year is to help bring parents, coaches, and players together with open communication.  Wishing you all the best!  Frank

LISTENING

“Listening is the missing link of communication.”

The ability to listen is yet another crucial tennis parental skill.  It’s in the best interest of the tennis parent to create a positive, supportive and communicative environment to maintain healthy parent/child/coach relationships. To illustrate this point, I have included a letter that was written by a teenage girl to her father.

Dear Dad,

What I’m about to say is hard for me. So hard I can’t seem to look you in the eyes and say what I want to say. I guess I’m afraid.

Maybe it’s best this way. Maybe you’ll listen with your eyes since you haven’t been hearing me. Maybe you just want to see what you want to see. That’s the champion you’ve been forcing me to be.

Dad, are you listening?

I know you want what’s best for me. I know you believe all the messages you’re sending will make me a better player. Dad, communication isn’t just sending messages, it’s also receiving them.

Dad, are you listening?

Look at my face, there is no joy. I’m angry all the time. I still continue to play week after week, tournament after tournament. I’m sad. No I’m miserable. Why can’t you see that? Do you notice any of this? I utter how I hate competing. I protest every single practice and yet you push me to try harder. You demand, “Be tougher Sasha, you have to aim to be perfect!” Well Dad, I’m not perfect. I just want to be normal.

Dad, are you listening?

I’m depressed and confused and feel that this life is your life, not mine! I love you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me but I don’t think I want to play tennis any more.

Dad, are you listening?

Love, Sasha

Receiving this letter was a major blow to Sasha’s father Stan. Because Sasha and Stan were my clients, Stan immediately came to me with his drama.  He wanted know if he should just back off? He couldn’t believe she wanted to quit after all her success and the time she had invested into the sport.

Would gently pushing your child through a difficult stage in their career/development be the right thing to do? You bet! There isn’t a single champion who didn’t have a parent or paid authority figure pushing them past their comfort zone or carrying them when they couldn’t go on.

I asked Stan to ask Sasha this question, “Would it be alright to take a one month sabbatical?” Then, take her rackets away and hide them. Don’t even mention the word tennis to her. If she never again brings up the subject, then she is done. That means you have a normal, healthy child. Go on vacations, enjoy weekends and appreciate your family.

If the game begins to pull her back, then she’ll be engaged for all the right reasons. It’s about choices. Giving her some time to see for herself that being an average teen, playing video games, texting nonsense to her friends and hanging out at the same mall every weekend isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. She needs to see for herself that the grass isn’t always greener. She’s a great kid. She’s smart. Trust me, just let this play out.

By the tenth night of Sasha’s sabbatical, she was bored to tears. She came into her parent’s room and asked if they can hit a few balls tomorrow -with a new sense of purpose. Sasha went on a tear. She won two national titles in the following months.

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

YOUR ATHLETE’S ORGANIZATIONAL BLUEPRINT

Regardless of your child’s long term tennis goals, improving their chances of maximizing their potential begins with efficiency. A customized blueprint reduces stress, wasted time and, most importantly, money spend unwisely. In today’s era, even the most talented athlete has very little hope of reaching elite status without being properly organized.

NURTURING A DELIBERATE CUSTOMIZED PLAN

“Junior tennis champions are born from great sacrifice.
They are never the result of selfish parents.”

Outstanding parents are outstanding teachers. The parent is the most important adult figure that will define and shape a child. An experienced coach may assist in developing technical tools such as a topspin backhand. A trainer may assist in developing core strength. But, please never underestimate the power of your child’s greatest teacher…you!

The job description of a tennis parent is to provide a safe and loving environment. A tennis parent nurtures the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual growth of the child.  A gifted athlete with the desire, work ethic and character of a champion will never achieve his or her full potential without the loving support of a tennis parent/manager.

“A junior competitor without a tennis educated parent
is like a ship without a rudder.”

Terrific children, wonderful adults and tennis champions aren’t born, they are developed. It’s not simply heredity. It’s an organized plan. No one becomes extraordinary on their own. “It takes a Village” is the age old saying. As you raise athletic royalty, your village will be your entourage of coaches, hitters, mental/emotional trainers, off-court tennis specific experts, physical therapists and sports medicine doctors.

The Williams sisters are an actual example of a parent with a vision.  The story goes: Richard Williams planned to have more children for the sole purpose of developing them into professional tennis players. Wayne Bryan also had a plan with his twin boys, the Bryan brothers. Without an actual plan, you’ll never know your child’s true potential.