Tag Archives: Emotional Control

Improving Confidence and Low Self Esteem

Posted on August 23, 2016 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

I’m excited to announce that my new book: Emotional Aptitude in Sports is scheduled for a fall 2016 release. The below post discusses the role of emotional intelligence in rekindling confidence.

Enjoy the ride!

Frank

IMPROVING CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEMFrank Giampaolo

Regardless of the reason, athletes who begin to doubt their true capabilities need to flip their negative outlook before their negative beliefs ruin their practices and performances.

 

“A positive outlook is a prerequisite to positive performances.”

A lack of confidence can stem from a singular reasons or a combination of reasons. As always, solutions are dictated by their cause.

 

Typical Causes of Low Confidence:

1) Athlete has slacked off in their weekly training regiments…

2) Athlete has not trained efficiently (quality over quantity)…

3) Athlete is injured, sick or are returning to the game after an injury or sickness…

4) Athlete’s pessimistic attitude is getting the best of them…

5) Athlete has under-performed in recent competition and lost a few close matches to players they believe they should beat…

 

Rekindling confidence starts with a rebuilding of the belief systems.

 

“Confidence is a progressive spiral of numerous positive inputs which leads to a positive attitude…which in turn leads to new positive actions that leads to positive results.”

 

Let’s first look deeper into common stepping stones that will help rekindle an athlete’s confidence:

  • Re-Commit to Getting Fit Start with being the best athlete they can be. Hit the gym and hit the track – gain strength and improve stamina, speed and agility.
  • Clear the Mind: Re-Focus on Tennis Teens can get derailed by numerous factors including: school, parties, peer pressure, other sports, hobbies, shopping, etc. Re-organize your weekly planner.
  • Customize the Instruction Practice in the manner in which you are expected to perform. Build a game plan around exposing strengths while hiding weaknesses. Customize the athlete’s style to their brain and body type. Develop and rehearse the critical Top 7 Patterns of play.
  • Promote and Educate Independence Independent problem solving promotes confidence on and off the court. Even though some parents think they are helping, it may be wise to slowly stop doing everything for your little Phenom.
  • Surround Them with Supportive People Positive coaches, trainers and friends with good character are key. Is his new girlfriend pulling his focus in a new direction? Do her new friends at school want to party and shop all the time? Is her coach pessimistic?
  • Help Others Ask your athlete to teach the under privileged kids for free at the park and rec or assist the local food bank once a month and feed the homeless. Seeing the positive attitude of someone less fortunate reminds them how fortunate they truly are…
  • Avoid Negative Comments Derogatory comments, a negative tone of voice, offensive, threatening body language or even facial expressions can tear down a sensitive player’s confidence. Cut out the negative influences in their life. Pessimism is contagious and very toxic.
  • Perfectionists Set the Bar Too High Unrealistic expectations kill confidence. Parents, just because your son won last week’s tournament, don’t expect him to win every one from now on. Players, a sure fire way to disable your confidence is to expect perfection. Even if you’re in the zone for a while, it’s a borrowed experience. No one owns the zone. No one stays in the zone and lives there year around.

 

“Parents and coaches, it’s important to communicate to your athlete that they can’t go back and rewrite a better past…but they can start today and write a better future.”

 

FOCUS ON POSITIVE INFLUENCES

 

“Guidance from a coach or parent with a negative mindset is extremely toxic to a child.”

 

Exposing and destroying pessimistic beliefs and attitudes is an integral part of my daily mission, both personally and professionally. It’s your job as the tennis parent to eliminate these poisons from your athlete’s world. Sadly, it’s often a parent, sibling, friend or coach that’s feeding the negative beliefs and pessimistic attitudes. It is in your best interest to remedy this issue or remove the negative source(s) from the child’s tennis entourage. Parents, just as it is your duty to remove negative psychology, it is your responsibility to teach positive psychology. Teach belief and confidence, find their motivational buttons, develop their desire and hunger for mastering the game and teach them to embrace the challenge. These positive life lessons are part of raising athletic royalty.  If you teach the love of the game and the benefits of commitment, your athlete will progress seamlessly through the losses, technical difficulties, injuries and bad luck that come with athletics.

Allow the tennis teachers to teach, the coaches to coach and the trainers to train because as you know now, the tennis parent’s job description is far too comprehensive to micro manage each entourage’s role.

 

Mind Sets: Fixed versus Growth

Similar to the two sides of psychology, there are also two mind sets. Coaches often see student’s with either a fixed mind set or a growth mind set. While the athlete’s genetic predisposition is undoubtedly present, it’s most often the nurtured opinions of their parents, siblings and coaches that set their outlook.

1) A person with a debilitating fixed mind set truly believes that they cannot change. They are extremely rigid, view the world as black or white and are un-interested in change. Their unwillingness to accept new challenges often results in remaining average at best.

2) A person with a growth mind set believes that their opinions, outlooks, attitudes and abilities can and will change throughout their lives. Growth mind set individuals are more willing and open to accept change in the name of progress/improvement.

 

“Raising athletic royalty is a direction, not a destination. What you choose to teach your children now will live on for generations to come.”

 

I find that parents who encourage both positive psychology and a growth mind set are developing much more than a future athlete, they are developing future leaders.

 

CONTACT: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net

Controlling the Controllable

Posted on May 5, 2015 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

Raising Athletic Royalty

Maximizing your player’s chances to perform in a calm, relaxed peak performance level, demands that the athlete and entourage control their controllables. While letting go of the uncontrollable variables. Junior tennis players and well intending parents often sabotage any real chance of success by cluttering their mind with irrelevant thoughts. Match day focus is a learned behavior that should be developed and practiced with pre-set protocols.

“Practice in the manner in which you’re expected to perform” and then… Perform in the manner in which you’ve practiced.”

A pre-match warm up and/or match time performance can be sabotaged by focusing on non-controllable external variables While it is important to give these outside influences a nod, dwelling on them will surely ruin any chance of peak performance.

List 5 elements a player cannot control:
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

 

List 5 elements a player can control:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

 “A player’s thoughts will either push them towards their performance goals or pulls them away from their performance goals.”

Attitude controls the mind and the mind controls the emotions and the body’s fluid movement. An optimistic attitude “frees the player up” to play at peak performance. I teach twin brothers, Jarred and Evan.  Jarred has a positive can do attitude- he optimistically performs his pre-match rituals before each event and chooses to see the positive in every situation. While, Evan has a pessimistic attitude before each event and choose to obsess about everything that he believes is wrong or could go wrong.

Evan’s pre-match conversations includes: I am really, really tired, I think I’m getting sick, it is going to be too hot or too windy or too cold, my start time is too early or too late, the drive to event is too long, my draw horrible, the courts are terrible, my racquets are strung incorrectly, they made my breakfast wrong, I have too much homework to focus on tennis…etc.

A negative attitude can destroy your player’s ability to perform to their best ability. The pre-requisite for peak performance is maintaining a positive attitude and proper pre-match preparation. Players, parents and coaches need to focus on being positive and proactive.

Example of Non Controllable Elements:

  • Opponent antics
  • Referees availability
  • Weather
  • Court surface
  • Draw
  • Outcomes
  • Rankings
  • Start times
  • Site distractions
  • Example of Controllable Elements:
  • Wandering mind
  • Emotions
  • Footwork
  • Opponent profiling
  • Effort
  • Attitude
  • Game plans
  • Proper pre-match preparation
  • Pre-match and match day protocols

“Taking control of what can be controlled will keep you on script, increase self-confidence and assist you in getting the results you are cable of getting. “

Thank you, Frank

 

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate 

 

 

Nurturing the Complete Tennis Player

Posted on March 4, 2015 by in Customized Organizational Plan, Maximizing Tennis Potential, Primary and Secondary Strokes, The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from The Tennis Parent’s Bible.  Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

CHAMPIONSHIP TENNIS PDF FILE

 The Complete Tennis Player

The evolution of your child’s progress is a direct link to their training methods. Progress is not made while staying in one’s comfort zone. I suggest asking your youngster to step outside of their comfort zone as they enter into the learning zone. This is where advances actually take place. The following are essential components to accelerating your child’s performance. (For more information: The Tennis Parent’s Bible)

Nurture All Four Sides of a Complete Player:

Primary and Secondary Stroke Skills

The four different forehands, four different backhands, three different serves and four different volleys need to be developed. Players possessing keen primary strokes and non-existent secondary strokes are usually come in second in a field of two. Your child’s game needs depth to go deep into the draw.

Shot and Pattern Selection Skills

Independently place your child in an offense, neutral or defensive position. Drill the movement and typical shot selections of that position. Secondly, assist your youngster in designing their proactive patterns. That is their serve patterns, return patterns, rally patterns and net rushing patterns.

Movement and Fitness Skills

Anticipatory speed is just as important as foot speed. A typical movement drill requires the coach to explain the sequence. The coach says, “Ok, forehand approach shot, forehand volley, backhand volley, overhead, let’s do it!”

I recommend training brain speed as well. So, I would say “Get to the net, I’ll give you 4-6 shots”. I would randomly mix in approach shots, swing volley approach shots, traditional volleys, half volleys and overheads.

Now, multitasking begins. In essence, practicing in the manner in which their expected to perform.

Focus and Emotional Skills

Emotions come into play during live ball, not drills. We call it dress rehearsal/stress rehearsal. In the session, start sets half way through and asks your child to close it out with role playing.

 

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate

Anger on the Court

Posted on February 18, 2015 by in Emotional Tennis, Maximizing Tennis Potential, Raising Athletic Royalty, The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from The Tennis Parent’s Bible.  Thank you for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

angry-tennis-player

Anger on the Court?

On-court anger is very familiar to many. The ability to channel anger and improve performance is a skill many juniors have not fully developed.  Most juniors displaying anger/emotional meltdowns on court are doing so because they have not properly prepared. Below are several reasons your that may help your child reduce anger fits on court.  (For more detail:  The Tennis Parent’s Bible)

Rehearse Successful Performance Goals Versus “I Have to Win” Goals:

Champions are performance orientated and not outcome orientated. After a match parents need to replace “Did you win?” with “How did you play?” In the 2009 Masters Doubles, one ATP team got 81 percent of their first serves in and capitalized on 3 out of 4 break points. Guess who won easily?

Tennis is Not Fair:

There are so many reasons why this game is not fair. Understanding these issues will reduce the stress some juniors place on themselves. For instance, luck of the draw, court surfaces, match location, weather (wind, sun, etc.), lucky let courts…Can you think of a few?

Everyone Gets the Same 24 Hours in a Day:

The difference is how they use it. I mentioned in a previous chapter that most juniors have an excess number of hours unaccounted for… I suggested getting a daily planner and discuss time management with your child. Assist them in organizing their on-court and off-court weekly schedule.

Managing Stress:

Experience tells us that if you are in a fight, take some time to clear your head. Get away or go for a brisk walk. Talk to your child about time management as it pertains to controlling the pace of the match. Winners often take bathroom breaks at critical times in a match, don’t they? Controlling the energy flow of the match is a super way to control the fire.

 Champions Experience Failure:

Most tennis champions have probably lost way more matches than your child has lost. Ambitious people experience many failures. The majority of professionals lose every week- only one player can win the tournament. Does that mean most players are losers? Not a chance! Champions learn from their loses.

Never Outgrow Fun:

You often see top professionals battle and still smile in the course of a match. Stress and anger clutter your thought processes, which decreases your ability to perform.

Tennis is a Gift Not a Right:

Discuss how there are millions of great athletes that are the same age as your child that will never get the opportunity to compete at this level. Tennis isn’t fair, right? But has your child thought about how lucky they are to be able to play tennis and have a family that wants to support their passion?

Good Judgment Comes From Experience:

So where does experience come from? The funny answer is bad judgment. Talk to your child about how it is far less painful to learn from other peoples’ failures. After a loss, stay at the tournament site and chart a top seed. Analyze others’ success as well as pitfalls and learn how to avoid them.

Stay Aggressive through the Fear:

An old saying is “courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to carry on in spite of it.” Discuss how all too often we shift our style from “playing to win” to “playing not to lose.” Trust me folks, they are two very different mind sets.

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
www.MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate