Tag Archives: emotional tennis

Self-Sabotage

Posted on May 24, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
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Frank Giampaolo

“Run Towards Winning Versus Running Away from Losing.”

Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is an “inside job.” If your athlete is their own worst enemy in competition, the issue likely lies in the relationship between your athlete’s conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the analytical, neurotic part of each athlete’s personality. It wants to help so badly that it causes problems. The issues occur because the conscious mind is constantly editing and evaluating every aspect of the performance. It is rarely possible to get into the zone and stay in that flow state if the athlete is editing too much during competition. You see, great competitors apply effortless effort. Meaning they’re putting out effort without the worry.

The subconscious mind is easygoing. It trusts the fact that it has performed these routines thousands of times. It’s the automatic pilot relaxed performer. Gifted athletes choke and panic at the most inopportune times because their conscious mind is overthinking and worrying about the possibility of future failure. This catastrophic way of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stressing out about the possibility of future failure causes dopamine and adrenaline to flood the body systems as fear and muscle tension take center stage. Too many of these released hormones hijack an athlete’s brain.

Solution: Remind your athlete that it’s a privilege to be able to play tennis. Worrying about the outcome brings unwanted visitors through the conscious judgmental mind. Ask your athlete to observe their performance and make adjustments without judging. Before competition, preset solutions to possible future problems. Accepting an excellent performance versus a perfect performance is a great start to distressing an athlete. Great performances are born in inner silence.

The Fault Finder

Posted on May 20, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Fault Finder

Sadly, most parents think they are helping after losses as they discuss the athlete’s laundry list of faults. Feeding the monster, or as we call it, the Inner Critic, is the last thing you want to do.

Your job as the parent is to foster the belief in their ability over being the fault finder. As you intuitively know, an external and internal battle rages in competition. Your youngster is not just battling the opponent and trying desperately to please you but also fighting a conflict within their head. If you are counting folks, that’s three wars raging simultaneously inside their underdeveloped brain.

Defeating the inner critic is the conflict inside the conflict. I hear a common statement from parents every weekend: “The opponent didn’t beat them … my kid beat themselves!” This statement implies their inner critic got the best of them once again.

How do we, parents and coaches, convince athletes that they will perform better if they tone down the attack from their own judgmental minds?

Solution: On match days, please remember it’s your job as the parent to avoid adding outcome-oriented, contaminating thoughts. (Your kid already knows you want them to win). Stick to performance-based dialogue with a relaxed demeanor and a chill tone of voice. Solutions to defeating their inner critic require calming, confidence-building dialogue that will help rid their mind of the typical outcome of “What If” worries.

This inner stability happens before your athlete is ready for the higher levels of the sport. Defeating the athlete’s inner critic requires the fault finder to stay silent and the loving parent to appear.

Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems- Part 3

Posted on August 21, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

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Destroying Negative Past Beliefs

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Educate Choices

The old saying is “It’s not the event that shapes us, it’s how we choose to view it.” After competition, it is not healthy to focus on everything the athlete did wrong. Growth-minded individuals choose to focus on opportunities that lead to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth.

 

Replace Negative Perceptions with Positive Affirmations

Past and present pessimistic beliefs shape an athlete’s current opinions. List their negative perceptions and discuss where they originated.  Then assist the athlete in rewriting their inner dialog with positive versions to reprogram the athlete’s beliefs. Coaches, parents, and athletes, please realize that overriding and rewiring a pessimistic outlook is a very doable task given time and patience.

 

Educate Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance refers to the athlete’s inconsistent opposing thoughts and beliefs. It’s the natural mental discomfort or psychological stress that comes with change. Replacing an old belief with a new belief is similar to reprogramming a flawed stroke. Typically, it takes 4-6 weeks for the new motor program to override the old flawed stroke. At the beginning of the metamorphosis, the athlete owns two opposite belief systems, the old and the new. The older more comfortable version will initially overtake and resist the new. This inner war should be explained to any student suffering from their past negatives beliefs.

The time it takes to replace their disempowering belief with their new empowering belief is customized to the time and effort the individual puts into the metamorphosis. Some athletes will choose to speed up the optimistic priming process with hours of neuro priming per week, while other less committed athletes may only choose to set aside one hour a week. Obviously, the time dedicated to the project dictates the speed and effectiveness of the transformation.

 

Neuro Priming the New Belief System

Together the parent/coach and athlete should sit down and list the benefits of the new optimistic belief system. The athlete should be encouraged to read their list of positive affirmations list into their voice recorder app on their cell phone and listen to their recordings nightly to Neuro Prime (visualize and mentally rehearse) their optimistic beliefs. Negative past beliefs can be destroyed and replaced. Optimistic beliefs begin with the athletes vividly imagining themselves performing to perfection in competition. Persistence is key as the new empowering beliefs gain control and the disempowering beliefs die out.

 

“Thought patterns shape our lives and help or hinder athletic performance.”

 

Overriding my negative past beliefs 32 years ago contributed significantly to my change and success as a teacher, author, and human being. Re-conditioning a negative athlete is one of the most satisfying experiences a coach will ever experience.

 

Once the athlete becomes aware of their limiting perceptions, and they choose to destroy their negative inner dialog, they will recognize the unnecessary pain that has been holding them back. It’s incredibly gratifying to witness a struggling athlete blossom into a confident, optimistic, happier person.

While coaches and even some parents routinely spot flawed strokes, most allow their athlete’s negative self-dialog to go unchecked. Overriding the athletes past pessimistic belief systems is a critical function in The Soft Science of Tennis.

 

Perception Awareness

Often, athletes listen to that little pessimistic voice inside their brain all day long. This internal conversation programs their attitude, effort, and of course, their match behavior. In this case, shifting attention from stroke adjustments to an attitude adjustment is mandatory. Erasing by replacing negative voices with positive ones is essential.

 

“In the heat of battle, positive versus negative internal dialog is what often separates the winners from losers.”

 

How the Brain Affects Performance- Part 4

Posted on July 6, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

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The Match Chart Collection 2D

Judgers (J) versus Perceivers (P)

Judger Students

  • Prefer planned, orderly structured lessons.
  • Often postpone competing because they’re not 100% ready.
  • Are frequently afraid to make the wrong decision, so they freeze up in competition.
  • Need closure with a task before moving onto the next drill.
  • Enjoy making detailed lists to ensure productivity.
  • Have a strong need to control most aspects of situations.
  • Change is uncomfortable and is typically shunned.
  • Multitasking is avoided, as they prefer to focus on one component at a time.
  • Rules and laws apply to them and everyone else in the academy.
  • Often closed-minded to new information until its proven correct.
  • Often more-fixed-mind-set versus growth-mind-set.
  • Self-regulated and enjoy working their customized developmental plan.

 

Perceiver Students

  • In competition, perceivers are mentally found in the future, not the present.
  • Often struggle with closing out leads in matches.
  • Day-dream and often struggle with remaining on task.
  • Are flexible and spontaneous.
  • Easily adapt to the ever-changing match situations.
  • Open to discussing and applying new, unproven concepts.
  • Often more growth-mind-set versus fixed-mindset.
  • Appear relaxed and loose under stress.
  • Perform in cycles of energy.
  • Typically need goal dates and deadlines to work hard.
  • In matches, focus on outcome scenarios versus performance play.
  • Often postpone training until the last minute.

 

 

“Athletes who make the most significant gains are independent thinkers who are self-aware of their inborn characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses. Understanding your player’s personality profile will enrich your relationships and assist you in helping your students develop excellent technique, athleticism, strategies and handling stress under pressure.”

 

Take a few moments, sit back and digest the above information. I’m sure you will smile as you systematically place specific students, co-workers, friends and family members into their genetic predispositions.

In chapters 8- 11, four customized challenges and their solutions are provided for each of the s

How the Brain Affects Performance- Part 3

Posted on July 1, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Thinkers (T) versus Feelers (F)

Thinker Students

  • Impersonalize tennis matches in a business fashion.
  • Continually analyze the pros and cons of each situation.
  • Thrive in private lessons versus group activities.
  • In discussions, they are frank and often void of tactfulness.
  • Aware of coaching inconsistencies.
  • In competition, they are less influenced by emotions than other brain designs.
  • Prefer logical explanations versus hunches.
  • Relate to technical skills training over mental or emotional skills training.
  • Less concerned about personal interaction and group harmony.
  • Prefer work before play even in practice.
  • Value fairness and good sportsmanship.
  • Often seen as uncaring or indifferent to others.

 

Feeler Students

  • Enjoy group sessions with their peers.
  • Often put others needs ahead of their needs.
  • Strong need for optimism and harmony on-court.
  • Struggle with match play cheating and gamesmanship.
  • Usually outcome-oriented versus process-oriented.
  • Perform with their heart versus their head.
  • Often miss the details and facts in problem-solving.
  • Sometimes too empathetic to struggling opponents.
  • Need frequent process reminders to regain focus.

 

“A gender stereotype myth is that females are feelers and males are thinkers. While the exact percentages vary widely from study to study, it’s clear that brain function doesn’t necessarily correlate with gender. Nature versus nurture falls into play.

Though societal bias may nurture females to be more nurturing and caring and males to be more tough problem-solvers, females can be genetically wired to be thinkers just as males can be wired to be feelers.”

How the Brain Affects Performance- Part 2

Posted on June 28, 2021 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Sensate (S) versus Intuitive (N)

Sensate Students

  • Choose to make decisions after analyzing.
  • Often hesitate on-court due to overthinking.
  • Thrive on the coach’s facts versus opinions.
  • Enjoy practical details versus the “Do it cuz I said so!” method.
  • Need to know when and why not just how.
  • Success on-court is based on personal experience not theory.
  • Pragmatic need for sports science rational.
  • Comfortable backcourt players where they have more decision-making time.
  • Prefer organized, structured lessons versus time-wasting ad-lib sessions.

 

Intuitive Students

  • Trust their gut instinct and hunches over detailed facts.
  • In matches, often do first then analyze second.
  • Apply and trust their imagination with creative shot selection.
  • Thrive on new, exciting opportunities on the practice court.
  • In discussions are less interested in minute details and facts.
  • Learn quicker by being shown versus lengthy verbal explanations of the drill.
  • Seek the creative approach to the game.
  • Natural born offensive net rushers and poachers in doubles.
  • Enjoy coaches’ metaphors and analogies.
  • Often have to be reminded of the reality of the situation.

 

“PET scan and sensing perception studies from the University of Iowa show that different brain designs use various parts of their brain. Athletes are pre-wired with their genetics. Teaching them to compete on-court within their natural guidelines versus opposing those guidelines will maximize their potential and enjoyment of our great sport.

An analogy to illustrate this point is swimming downstream and working within one’s genetic predisposition versus swimming upstream and working against one’s genetic predisposition. While it is possible to find success outside one’s dominant brain design, it is much more difficult.”

How the Brain Affects Performance- Part 1

Posted on June 26, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

How the Brain Affects Performance

 

“Athletes who share similar cerebral inner workings also share mental and emotional strengths and weaknesses
in the competitive arena.”

 

This chapter will uncover how brain design affects tennis performances. The following brain design categories can be used as an informal observation as you first profile yourself. However, I suggest going online to the dozens of more in-depth questionnaires. Choose the accuracy and depth of the personality profiling questionnaire that is right for you. After a bit of research, you will recognize learning preferences that best describe your brain design.

Let’s review the basics from earlier in this book. There are 16 configurations of personality profiles found around the world. By completing your chosen questionnaire, you will discover your association – a 4-letter acronym nicknaming your personality profile. Once comfortable with the terminology, you will be able to categorize your athletes into their unique designs. Following is a list of commonalities I’ve uncovered on-court with my high-performance students.

 

Uncovering Your Students Typography

Introverts (I) versus Extroverts (E)

Introvert Students

  • Reserved, reflective thinkers.
  • Prefer concrete advice versus abstract thinking.
  • Need quiet, alone time to recharge their batteries.
  • Prefer to blend into groups versus stand out.
  • Energy conserving, private and quiet individuals.
  • Enjoy the one-on-one settings of private lessons over group lessons.
  • Prefer to retaliate in match play versus instigate action.

 

Extrovert Students

  • Enjoy the energy in group lessons with lots of people.
  • Enjoy the limelight, center court, and center stage.
  • Vocally and physically expressive on court.
  • Easily bored with mundane repetition.
  • Prefer to make things happen in matches versus retrieving.
  • View tournaments as social environments.
  • Work best in short attention span type drills.
  • Strangers are friends they haven’t met yet.
  • Benefit from stretches of silent tennis drilling.

 

“Coaching confusion takes place when an athlete’s body type (size, speed, agility, strength) opposes their hidden inner workings.

For example, the athlete’s body type appears to be designed to instigate action by capturing the net, but they religiously choose to stay back and retaliate instead. Typically brain design overrides body design.”

Coaching Brain Type Performance- Part 6

Posted on June 17, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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ENFP: Extrovert Intuitive Feeler Perceiver

 

Challenge: ENFP’s are creative, outside-the-box thinkers. For them, stepping outside of their comfort zone is easy. Instead of rigidly adhering to mundane rules and regulations, ENFP’s simply work around them.

Solution: Avoid micromanaging this type. A trick to coaching the ENFP is to keep drills fresh. Rallying to 100 is not only non-practical but will bore them to tears. Instead, customize 2-3 ball patterns based on the athlete’s offense, neutral and defensive situations. Challenge them to stay focused until they complete the exercise 10 times. Add negative scoring (deduct one from their score for each error) to improve their focus ability and their emotional component along with their hardware.

 

Challenge: The downfall of being extroverted is that ENFP’s are often in high demand. They repeatedly have trouble saying no when friends, family, acquaintances or even strangers ask for their help. Their empathetic nature is their blessing and their curse. This occasionally overwhelms the EF type, and they need to shut down and IT (Introvert/Think) for a bit.

Solution: Coaches should be on the lookout for signs of extrovert burnout. Symptoms include a noticeable shift in character. Such as when their natural optimism is turning pessimistic or when this popular, friendly type begins to act less approachable, sharp-tongued, and uncaring. At this time, motivate them to take some time off to recharge their batteries.

 

Challenge: ENFP’s are social and energetic tennis players. Their EF traits make them infectious partners and tennis teammates. They are natural investigators and explorers who get quickly bored with routine. Multitasking, communication, and people skills are their strong suit, but their problem solving and focus skills on-court may need your attention.

Solution: ENFP’s are future-minded, big-picture athletes. On-court they can struggle with keeping their mind focused “In the game.” Disinterested with the past and even the present, these types have to be reminded to stay focused on this stroke, this tactical play, and only this point. Coaches would be wise to develop their match closure skills.

 

Challenge: ENFP’s prefer to rely on their intuition and flow subconsciously through competition. Coaches can spot the moment when these NFP types stop playing in the moment and begin to think about the outcome. Examples include: “Man, I’m up 4-1 versus the top seed. I can win this…then boom!” They just traded in their intuitive, performance state of mind for a sensate overwhelming outcome mindset. Or “I’m down 2-5, I’m gonna lose anyway so I might as well relax and go for my shots…Boom!” They win three straight games to 5-5 only to flip the switch back to over-thinking about the outcome and drop the set 5-7.

Solution: Designing their strategic script of customized top patterns and ingrain them through pattern repetition, dress rehearsal, and practice match play. Teaching an ENFP to close out points, games, sets, and matches while staying on script is the key to developing their competitive focus.

 

Coaching Brain Type Performance- Part 4

Posted on June 11, 2021 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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ESFP: Extrovert Sensate Feeler Perceiver

 

Challenge: ESFP’s are performers at heart. They’d often prefer to daydream about the big moment versus relentlessly preparing for it.

Solution: Accountability is vital. Assist them in customizing their detailed developmental blueprint within their weekly planners. They’re more likely to accept the rules if they view the rules as their rules instead of a parent or coach’s demands.

 

Challenge: ESFP athletes typically learn best by doing (kinesthetic) versus listening (Auditory). Sitting still and listening to a coach or parent’s theories for extended periods is a waste of time for this type.

Solution: Offer short 1- minute sound bites and snippets of pertinent information throughout their hitting sessions. The kiss of death for this cerebral design is the coach that talks at the student for 45- minutes of their 1- hour lesson.

 

Challenge: ESFP’s are optimistic, friendly athletes but can turn negative in a passive resistant manner when they begin to feel unstimulated, especially in group lessons.

Solution: Look for nonverbal clues such as their wandering eyes and mind. Detecting that you have lost their attention is the first step in regaining their attention. Add customized, personal challenges to these types to keep them zeroed into the task at hand.

 

Challenge: EF’s are often easy marks for opponent’s who apply gamesmanship. Their genetic need for peace and harmony can complicate the drama found as the opponent employs their “creative line calls.”

Solution: Preset step by step solutions to handling gamesmanship. Discuss why cheaters cheat and why it’s often a successful tactic at the beginner and intermediate levels but not as athletes mature and soft skill sets are developed- such as perseverance, resiliency, or conquering performance anxieties. Explain the neuroscience of channel capacity. (The human brain cannot solve two complicated tasks simultaneously). By pulling the ESFP into the drama “channel,” this type unknowingly aborts the all-important performance goals “channel.” The result is a significant drop in performance level.

Coaching Brain Type Performance- Part 3

Posted on June 7, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

ISFP: Introvert Sensate Feeler Perceiver

 

Challenge: ISFP athletes tend to have their own agendas and schedules. They “beat to their own drum.” The structure and rules of others are often difficult for them to follow.

Solution: When too many demands and obligations fall upon them, these introverted individuals need alone time to recharge their batteries. Their SF function makes them want to do everything correctly to make others proud. Provide information and instruction at a rate that is comfortable for them to digest so that they can better assimilate. Excessive details tend to bog down ISFP’s.

 

Challenge: Pay particular attention to the amount of criticism offered to the ISFP. Lack of appreciation is a sure fire way for them to pull away from the sport.

Solution: Apply the five-compliments to one-criticism approach when working with this cerebral design. Use video analysis to point out their incredible strengths and improvements instead of only their weaknesses and failures. Instead of offering advice in the heat of the moment, offer to be available to chat when they’re ready to talk through their feelings.

 

Challenge: Under stress, this type can become excessively critical of themselves and others trying to assist them. These athletes tend to be harsh as they obsess over their mistakes and imagined problems.

 

Solution: Validate that you understand their feelings but reassure them that feelings are simply emotions and emotions are often speculations, not absolute facts. Have some fun as you remind them that their catastrophic thoughts are just thoughts and often not reality.

 

Challenge: Due to their FP design, these individuals are likely to mentally drift into future thoughts after a lead is established. These outcome thoughts include: “what’s my ranking going to be?”, “Who do I play next?”, “What are my friends going to say when I beat this top seed?”

Solution: Assist the ISFP’s in remaining on script, within their performance state of mind after they’ve built a lead. Drifting into outcome-oriented scenarios while still in the match is a receipt for disaster.