Tag Archives: Frank Giampaolo

Self-Sabotage

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
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Frank Giampaolo

“Run Towards Winning Versus Running Away from Losing.”

Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is an “inside job.” If your athlete is their own worst enemy in competition, the issue likely lies in the relationship between your athlete’s conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the analytical, neurotic part of each athlete’s personality. It wants to help so badly that it causes problems. The issues occur because the conscious mind is constantly editing and evaluating every aspect of the performance. It is rarely possible to get into the zone and stay in that flow state if the athlete is editing too much during competition. You see, great competitors apply effortless effort. Meaning they’re putting out effort without the worry.

The subconscious mind is easygoing. It trusts the fact that it has performed these routines thousands of times. It’s the automatic pilot relaxed performer. Gifted athletes choke and panic at the most inopportune times because their conscious mind is overthinking and worrying about the possibility of future failure. This catastrophic way of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stressing out about the possibility of future failure causes dopamine and adrenaline to flood the body systems as fear and muscle tension take center stage. Too many of these released hormones hijack an athlete’s brain.

Solution: Remind your athlete that it’s a privilege to be able to play tennis. Worrying about the outcome brings unwanted visitors through the conscious judgmental mind. Ask your athlete to observe their performance and make adjustments without judging. Before competition, preset solutions to possible future problems. Accepting an excellent performance versus a perfect performance is a great start to distressing an athlete. Great performances are born in inner silence.

Did You Win?

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
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Did You Win?

It is incredible how much self-inflicted contamination is created daily by parents and junior tennis players. Here is a prime example: what is the worst question parents can ask after practice sets or a match? The answer was, “Did you win?” Now guess what the most common question parents ask after practice sets or a match is? You guessed it, “Did you win?”

Parents need to replace an outcome obsession with improvement questions like: “Did you perform well today?” Remind your athlete that their real competition is in their mirror, and the only person they have to beat is the person they were last week. Asking your athlete, “Did you win?” pulls them away from focusing on their daily improvement goals and towards outcome goals because of the need for your love and approval. Athletes stressed about proving their worth to their parents are not free to focus on improving their untrustworthy skills. Athletes in this “winning is everything.” mindset only applies the comfortable skills they already own, not to disappoint their parents. This behavior stunts the growth parents seek.

Solution: Exchange the “Did you win?” question with performance-based inquiries. Another typical tennis parent blunder is booking their athletes into practice sets with higher-ranked players and then being crazy upset when their child does not win. Practice sets are learning tools to strengthen your athlete’s match play skills and identify those skills that are not ready for prime time.

If the parent is constantly in need of wins and a shelf full of plastic trophies, schedule sets with lower-ranked individuals and only register your child into low-level event.

Life Skills Through Tennis

The truth is, most often, sports don’t teach life skills; they expose them. Competition reveals underdeveloped life skills; the athlete has to be taught how to improve that individual skill set.

If you’re paying a technical coach to fix stroke mechanics, please don’t assume they’re teaching your kids life skills. The common misconception is that your child’s coaches are teaching those critical abilities. Most often, parents assume that the coaches are educating life skills, and the coaches assume that the parents are teaching them. Guess what? No one is.

Solution: Psychosocial competence or life skills are abilities and behaviors that enable athletes to deal with the demands and challenges of competition on and off the tennis court. Be mindful of who’s developing the character traits of your child daily. The type of individual your child becomes is dictated by who is nurturing them.

PERFORMANCE ANXIETIES IN TENNIS-PART 1

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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frank

PERFORMANCE ANXIETIES

 

“Juniors need to understand that during matches, negative emotions come and go like flights landing and taking off from an airport. They can choose to hop on the looney flight or simply let it take off without them.”

 

During match play, negative emotions reveal fear and insecurity, while positive emotions reveal confidence and control. The ability to control one’s emotions is a critical high performance skill.  Emotional intelligence is a learned behavior.

 

“Emotional Development is just as important as stroke development.”

 

Below, I’ve listed four categories of common performance anxiety symptoms.  If you suspect that your child’s fear of competition, confrontation or adversity is affecting their performance, it may be time to gather the coaches for an emotional training session. Ask your child to check any below symptoms that they feel describes them on match day. Design a new action plan to overcome each issue.

 

Match Day Symptoms

Physical Symptoms:

  • Shallow, fast breathing
  • Increased muscle tension throughout the body
  • Increased perspiration
  • Feeling dizzy and weak in the knees
  • Feeling that your body is on the court but your mind is somewhere else

Mental Symptoms:

  • Inability to focus one point at a time
  • Over thinking (choking)
  • Under thinking (panicking)
  • Reoccurring thoughts of failure
  • Worrying about others opinions of their performance
  • Obsessing about others rankings & successes

Emotional Symptoms:

  • Self-doubt in strokes as seen in “pushing”
  • Self-doubt in stamina & strength as seen in reckless shot selection (to end points prematurely)
  • Nervousness, hesitation & fearful performance
  • Stressing about uncontrollable variables
  • Not taking the time to enjoy the moment

Behavioral Symptoms:

  • Not performing match day routines & rituals
  • Hurrying & fast pace walking
  • Having mini tantrums, racket cracking or mindless fast walking/play
  • Forgetting the basic ball striking functions
  • Allowing the opponent or situation to control your playing speeds

 

NEGATIVE PARENTAL BEHAVIORS TO AVOID

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

NEGATIVE PARENTAL BEHAVIORS TO AVOID

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Listed below are common negative behaviors of an athlete’s parent.

 

Problem Tennis Parent Attributes Checklist:

  • Unrealistic assessment of their child’s level.
  • Unrealistic expectations.
  • Over emphasizing winning and rankings.
  • Coaching their children without coaching credentials.
  • Coddling and pampering the child too much.
  • Pushing the children into playing tennis.
  • Frequently discusses the financial burden of tennis in front of the athlete.
  • Assisting the coach in coaching during their child’s lessons.
  • Placing their needs and motives above their child.
  • Allowing their mood to mirror their child’s outcome.
  • Refusing to allow the athlete to make any decisions.
  • Neglecting to apply the periodization training method.
  • Becoming negative or violent when success is not achieved.
  • Unrealistic scheduling.
  • Critiquing and or blaming the coach after their child’s loss.
  • Failing to follow a deliberate customized developmental plan.
  • Expecting their part time coach to handle all the child’s full time needs.
  • Criticizing the child’s performance and skills in front of the child.
  • Neglecting to observe new coaches in action before hiring them.
  • Unaware of the importance of brain typing or body typing in their child’s development.
  • Living vicariously through their child’s success.

 

If you’re not sure whether your tennis parenting attitude is positive or a bit too negative simply ask your athlete. They’ll have a pretty darn good clue.

 

Happy New Year

frank

As 2021 comes to a close, I hope that you congratulate yourselves for all your hard work and dedication over the year.
Please take some time and commit to your 2022 tennis and fitness Goals.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ALL THE BEST,  FRANK GIAMPAOLO

Now Available- Innovative Tennis Charting

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, INNOVATIVE TENNIS CHARTING

Click Here To Order through Amazon

SPECIAL E-BOOK  PRICE: $1.99

11The Team at Frank Giampaolo Books (10)

Pre-Order your Innovative Match Charting E-Book- Released Dec 17

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, INNOVATIVE TENNIS CHARTING.

Click Here To PreOrder through Amazon

PRE-ORDER E-BOOK  PRICE: $1.99

3The Team at Frank Giampaolo Books (2)

Pre-Order your Innovative Match Charting e-Book- Released Dec 17

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, INNOVATIVE TENNIS CHARTING.

Click Here To PreOrder through Amazon

PRE-ORDER E-BOOK PRICE: $1.99

2The Team at Frank Giampaolo Books (6)

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 3

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Frank Giampaolo

Memories are Malleable

 

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation, and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, unpenetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills, etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  1. After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to themself.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves to promote the negative.

  1. Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family, and of course, their supportive coaches.

  1. Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

 

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.