The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, INNOVATIVE TENNIS CHARTING.
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Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 3
The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
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Memories are Malleable
Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation, and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)
In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, unpenetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.
Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.
Starting a Brand New Memory System
- Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.
These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills, etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.
- Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.
They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.
- After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to themself.
Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves to promote the negative.
- Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.
It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family, and of course, their supportive coaches.
- Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.
Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.
Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.
Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.
Developing Confidence and Self Esteem- Part 2
The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
Click Here to Order through Amazon
The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.
- Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
- If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
- If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
- What is confidence?
- What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
- Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
- What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
- Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
- In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
- Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
- Where does mediocre training lead?
- What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
- Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
- How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
- Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
- How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?
Physical Skills Versus Life Skills- Part 2
The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
Click Here to Order through Amazon
I work primarily with nationally, and ITF-ranked juniors, college athletes, and young touring professionals. Athletes at this level are successful due to their skills management. In my world of high-performance athletes, stats are important because they help customize the athlete’s training regimen.
In regards to stats, the following are the typical percentages ratios of physical skills to life skills that I have witnessed throughout the three primary stages of junior tennis. I’m convinced that positive character traits and customized life skills development hold the secret key to maximizing athletic potential.
At Ages: 7-11, junior athletes I work with possess:
- 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
- 40%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 10%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 40%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.
In this introductory stage, there is nothing more heartbreaking than the estimated 40% of gifted athletes I see with zero desire or work ethic (AKA life skills.)
At Ages: 12-15, junior athletes I work with possess:
- 25%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
- 45%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 5%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 25%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.
In this developmental stage, the medium talented athletes with customized developmental plans and well-nurtured life skills begin to shine. Simultaneously the gifted athletes with poor nurturing, and life skills development are dropping out.
At Ages: 16-18, junior athletes I work with possess:
- 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
- 70%: Medium talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 20%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
- 0%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.
At the top of the junior tennis food chain, life skills trump physical talent.
The outcomes (wins and rankings) are contingent on how well the parents and coaches deliver the four skill sets and how adept the athlete is at assimilating this information.
As youth sports researchers often say, “Life skills are purposely taught, not hopefully caught.”
The following chapters will identify the hidden benefits of life skills and character building. Life skills and positive character traits are essential elements found in The Soft Science of Tennis.
Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 1
The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
Click Here to Order through Amazon
Sharpening Healthier Communication
It’s dinner time at the Klein’s house. Mr. Klein and his daughter Wendy spent the day at a USTA level 3 girls 16’s event. Wendy was seeded #4 in the tournament. Her 9:00 am match went terribly wrong. Wendy’s serve percentages were catastrophically low and as a result, she suffered an embarrassing first-round loss.
Later that night at the dinner table the conversation quickly escalated from small talk to another tennis-related screaming match. As they passed the potatoes, another family dinner was ruined. Mr. Klein wished he had an instruction manual for these heated exchanges.
Psychologists researching communication offer a concept called the Four-Sides Model. The theory states that Mr. Klein’s initial comment “Honey, your serve was really off today.” exposed four possible ways Wendy could accept the data:
- As an impersonal factual stat.
- Insights about Mr. Klein’s feelings.
- As a personal underlining insult towards Wendy.
- As an appeal for improvement.
The message Mr. Klein was intentionally trying to convey isn’t necessarily what was perceived by Wendy. Mr. Klein’s statement “Honey, your serve was really off today.” led to a whirlwind of problems between him and his daughter. This, in turn, spiraled into the silent treatment from his wife because once again their family harmony was disrupted.
For Mr. Klein, the factual data and appeal for improvement were the only reason for the statement. Wendy’s interpretation of his statement was polar opposite. Wendy felt awful because she believed that she had let her parents and coaches down. She also concluded that her father’s statement about her serve implied that she was not working hard enough and that she was a failure.
“Communication is less about what is being said and more about how the words are decoded by the listener.”
As coaches and parents communicate with their athlete, the athlete’s personality profile acts as a filter as they decode the information. Some athletes are wired to accept and enjoy the analysis of cold hard facts while others are wired to overlook the facts and instead zone in to the emotional climate of the conversations. Each athlete connects the dots and paints the picture they choose to hear. An individual’s personality profile determines how one communicates. (We will interpret personality profiles in greater detail in coming chapters.)
Communication Skills and Tennis Success- Part 1
The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
Click Here to Order through Amazon
Creating an Exceptional Culture
Mr. Martinez is the tennis operations manager at Big Sky Country Club. A short time ago, he hired Richard as their new tennis director. Richard played college ball, graduated with a highly regarded tennis management degree and his resume checked all the boxes. On the technical side, Richard was microscopically detailed. He could spot a student’s opposing force vectors on their serve six courts away. He was adept at video analysis, organizing compass draws, teaching stroke fundamentals, and eager to oversee the club’s racket stringing service. On paper, Richard was a good fit for a Country Club.
Sadly, within weeks, Richard turned out to be a nightmare. While he had tennis business knowledge, he possessed no interpersonal communication skills. Richard’s interactions with members and co-workers were so poor; it led to his termination just one month into the job. Let’s look into why Richard was let go so soon from Big Sky Country Club.
Richard had a pompous demeanor toward everyone all the time. When adult members would ask for his assistance, he would respond with a loud disrespectful sigh. When Mrs. Jones asked him to fill in with the ladies league for 15-20 minutes until Helen arrived, Richard shook his head in disgust and said, “My hitting rate is the same as my lesson rate. For me to go on court, it’s $120.00 an hour!” Richard even drew complaints from the parents of the junior program because he would scold the children if they smiled and laughed in their beginner’s clinic. Richard was a taskmaster, and to him, clinics were to work and not to play.
The club’s co-workers were also scared of Richard. His pessimistic problem-oriented view of his job made him uncomfortable to be around. The club’s assistant pros reported that he would consistently complain about the facility and the management staff directly to the members. His negative verbal and nonverbal communication reaped havoc throughout the club.
Richard was also incompetent at the most essential interpersonal communication skill: listening. For example, one Friday afternoon, Mr. Martinez, the club manager, handed two rackets to Richard and told him that he had assured junior club member, Joey, that both his rackets would be strung by Saturday morning at 8:00 am. He could pick them up on his way out-of-town to the tournament. Although Richard was looking at Mr. Martinez as he took Joey’s rackets from him, Richard wasn’t listening. His focus was on a tennis match on the pro-shop television.
So Joey and his dad stopped in Saturday morning and his rackets sat unstrung in the pro-shop. The members were obviously upset and Mr. Martinez was furious with Richard. Mr. Martinez addressed Richard about why they were not strung, and he snapped: “You didn’t tell me to string them yesterday!”
After multiple “red flags,” Mr. Martinez had no choice but to put Richard on probation. Richards’s lack of interpersonal communication skills continued to disrupt the club’s optimistic culture. Richard didn’t possess the ability to problem solve, adapt, correct issues or even care to attempt to fit into the club’s corporate guidelines. The final straw was when a member came into the pro-shop and complained that his children are no longer enjoying the clinics and they are considering going elsewhere for lessons. Richard took it personally, called the member an idiot, and instigated a shouting match, “If you want Mikey and Lauren to learn the correct strokes, let me do my job! If you want them to be hackers…then go! I don’t care!”
Richard’s lack of communication skills instigated his firing. He couldn’t apply appropriate decision making, empathy, analyze options or come up with win-win solutions. It was his way or the highway- period. Insulting the members prompted Richard’s demise. The members quit the club and Richard lost his job.
Interpersonal Communication
If technical knowledge is the science of teaching, interpersonal communication is the art of teaching. Interpersonal communication characterizes the interaction that takes place between two or more people. In the coaching world, gaining an understanding of sports biomechanics is important, but mastering communication is essential. Is your athlete being nurtured interpersonal skills? The following is a laundry list of interpersonal communication skills that facilitate success in tennis and in life.
Accountable, Accuracy, Adaptability, Adept, Alertness, Ambition, Amiability, Analytical, Articulate, Assertive, Attentiveness, Business-like, Capable, Caring, Competence, Confidence, Conscientiousness, Considerate, Consistency, Cooperation, Creative, Critical Thinking, Dedication, Dependability, Detail Oriented, Determination, Diplomatic, Efficiency, Empathy, Encouraging, Energy, Enterprising, Ethical, Experienced, Flexibility, Hardworking, Helpfulness, Honesty, Imaginative, Independent, Industriousness, Influential, Innovation, Insightful, Intuitive, Leadership, Logical Thinking, Loyal, Management, Motivation, Nonverbal Communication, Optimism, Organizational, Passion, Patience, Perceptive, Positive, Practical, Problem Solving, Productive, Professional, Progressive, Punctual, Rational, Realistic, Reflective, Reliable, Resourceful, Respectful, Responsible, Sense Of Humor, Sincere, Sociable, Teachable, Teaching, Teamwork, Technical Literacy, Tolerance, Trustworthy, Understanding, Verbal Communication, Versatility, Visionary, Work Ethic…Whew!
Without a doubt, any parent or coach would love to have their athletes possess these personal skills.
Excellence begins with a positive culture both at home and at the club. In our sport, invested athletes don’t search out places like “Allen’s Average Tennis Academy” or “Mike’s Mundane Monday Night Clinic.” On a conscious level, parents and athletes seek excellent technical knowledge. On the subconscious level, they pursue meaningful interpersonal relationships.
The culture I recommend is solution-oriented versus problem-oriented. Athletes are much more likely to flourish in a solution-orientated environment. Coaches that provide a solution-based program are teaching lasting life skills.
Match Play Emotional and Mental Solutions- Part 3
The following post is an excerpt from Neuro Priming for Peak Performance NOW available!
My Verbal & Physical Triggers to Combat Choking
Verbal:______________________________________________________________________________
Physical: _____________________________________________________________________________
My Verbal & Physical Triggers for Panicking
Verbal: _____________________________________________________________________________
Physical: ____________________________________________________________________________
Energy Flow Management (Check STATEMENT If Understood)
- I’ll control the playing speed of the match.
- I’ll control the positive energy of the match.
- I’ll inflate my fight to deflate their will to battle.
Emotional Protocols- Part 1
The following post is an excerpt from Neuro Priming for Peak Performance NOW available!
AUDIO #2: Emotional Protocols
Design and list customized solutions for each of the emotional protocols. Athletes who mentally rehearse their pre-set contingency plans (emotional protocols) report cleaner performances and less match time drama consistently. (Sample Solutions: page 62)
My Between Point Rituals
External:
- ________________________________________________________
- ________________________________________________________
Internal:
- _________________________________________________________
- _________________________________________________________
My Changeover Rituals
External: _______________________________________________________
Internal: _______________________________________________________
Critical Times to Manage my Adrenaline
- _________________________________________________________
- _________________________________________________________
POSITIVE Coaching
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!
POSITIVE VERSUS NEGATIVE PSYCHOLOGY
“Guidance from a coach or parent with a negative mindset is extremely toxic to a child.”
Exposing and destroying pessimistic beliefs and attitudes is an integral part of my daily mission, both personally and professionally. It’s your job as the tennis parent to eliminate these poisons from your athlete’s world.
Sadly, it’s often a parent, sibling, friend or coach that’s feeding the negative beliefs and pessimistic attitudes. It is in your best interest to remedy this issue or remove the negative source(s) from the child’s tennis entourage.
Parents, just as it is your duty to remove negative psychology, it is your responsibility to teach positive psychology. Teach belief and confidence, find their motivational buttons, develop their desire and hunger for mastering the game and teach them to embrace the challenge. These positive life lessons are part of raising athletic royalty. If you teach the love of the game and the benefits of commitment, your athlete will progress seamlessly through the losses, technical difficulties, injuries and bad luck that come with athletics.
Allow the tennis teachers to teach, the coaches to coach, and the trainers to train because as you know now, the tennis parent’s job description is far too comprehensive to micro manage each entourage’s role.
MindSets: Fixed versus Growth
Similar to the two sides of psychology, there are also two mindsets. Coaches often see student’s with either a fixed mindset or a growth mind set. While the athlete’s genetic predisposition is undoubtedly present, it’s most often the nurtured opinions of their parents, siblings, and coaches that set their outlook.
- A person with a debilitating fixed mindset truly believes that they cannot change. They are extremely rigid, view the world as black or white and are uninterested in change. Their unwillingness to accept new challenges often results in remaining average at best.
- A person with a growth mindset believes that their opinions, outlooks, attitudes, and abilities can and will change throughout their lives. Growth mindset individuals are more willing and open to accept change in the name of progress/improvement.
“Raising athletic royalty is a direction, not a destination. What you choose to teach your children now will live on for generations to come.”
I find that parents who encourage both positive psychology and a growth mindset are developing much more than a future athlete; they are developing future leaders.
Spotting Tennis Burnout
The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!
QUESTION: How do we spot tennis burn out?
Frank: Did you know that even the very best in the business don’t stay in their “Optimal Performance State” year around? ATP and WTA tour professionals rarely play more than three events in a row. They need the critical “down” time to recharge, heal and fix flaws.
It’s not in your child’s best interest to force them to try to stay in their peak performance state 365 days a year. Taking a week off to re-charge the physical, mental, and emotional batteries may help your child peak when it counts most. This is part of the periodization cycle. Yes- taking time off may help them to be more committed and focused when their tennis training commences- leading to better results.
NOTE: The number one reason junior players report that they want to quit tennis is due to overzealous parents unknowingly pushing them past the healthy limits.
While developing high-performance athletes, I am constantly on high-alert for the warning signs of burnout. The signs of burnout can be physical, mental or emotional. Let’s look at some typical signs to assist you in knowing when it’s time for your athlete to take a break from their tennis quest.
20 Signs of Tennis BurnOut:
- Multiple injuries.
- Reduced flexibility in their body.
- Complaining about fatigue.
- Reduced concentration.
- Fear of competition.
- Lack of emotional control.
- Poor judgment.
- Decreased opponent awareness.
- Negative verbal or physical outbursts.
- Lack of motivation to practice or to hit the gym.
- Unwillingness to compete in a tournament.
- Poor equipment preparation.
- Appearing slow and heavy with no energy.
- Lack of anticipation and agility.
- Short attention span.
- Inability to concentrate.
- Lack of concern about performance goals.
- Low patience.
- A sense of hopelessness.
In my opinion, if your child is showing several of the above negative signs and seems to be in a downward spiral, it may be in their best interest to put down the racquets for a while. A true contender can only stay away for a short time. Parents, allow them to heal. Then slowly re-start a deliberate customized developmental process.
SPECIAL NOTE: During your child’s time off court, encourage them to stay in physical shape by enjoying non-tennis cross-training.
