The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers! Click Here to Order
Perfectionism
Evan: I’ve learned the hard way that perfectionism is like lugging around a duffle bag full of 100 lb. weights. I thought it would make me stronger but all it does is keep me from flying. What a waste of time and energy!
Jarrod: I’m hyper critical. I should be perfect because everyone always told me how brilliant I am. If I don’t finish #1 every time, I believe I’m a failure. I’ve been told I’m defensive towards criticism, but the ones criticizing me are usually wrong.
Frank’s Tips: Perfectionism is toxic self-abuse. The very best athletes in every sport are only excellent… Not Perfect. Aim for 90% versus 110%. This allows for wiggle room, while still being consistently excellent.
Negative Self-Talk
Evan: I remember you had our whole family play the FLIP IT game. Remember? Every time someone said a negative comment the rest of us would say “flip it!” Man, we told Jarrod to “flip it” like a thousand times!
Jarrod: Oh yeah, but remember? Dad was worse than me! Every sentence out of his mouth started with: “The problem is…” I’m actually only negative when things aren’t perfect.
Frank’s Tip: We listen to ourselves more than any other person. This is due to our inner dialog. Are you constantly lifting yourself up or tearing yourself down? Our inner chatter should sound like we’re talking to someone we love.
Strengthening emotional aptitude requires focusing optimistically on improving any of the above ten performance anxieties by applying the suggested tips. For most athletes, the likely cause of experiencing anxiety is emotionally experiencing failure …in advance.
