Parental athletic support | Frank Giampaolo's Maximizing Tennis Potential

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 2

Posted on July 25, 2019 by Frank Giampaolo in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

Sharpening Healthier Communication

Successfully communicating the facts is highly dependent on WHAT message is being delivered and HOW the message is being delivered. The following list offers eight techniques I recommend applying to communicate effectively:

Intertwine sports science facts with personal, emotional storytelling.
Impart humor within a conversational tone to bond the relationship.
Avoid a distancing style with an elitist attitude and academic language.
Use inclusive pronouns like “We all need to…”
Apply cadences, rhythms, and dramatic pauses to accentuate meaning.
Vary their volume from a scream to a whisper to deepen the message.
Pull listeners in by modifying the pace of delivery from excited and fast to dramatic and slow.
Match and mirror the listener to make them more comfortable.

Great communicators presenting in groups or one-on-one have developed their presentation power. Armed with a full toolbox of delivery methods, they trade in intimidating, interrogating and dictating with sharing everyday experiences to engage the audience-which is the heart of genuinely connecting.

I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?

Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:

I love watching you play!
I’m so proud of you.
I’m impressed by your skills.
I’m so grateful to be your parent.
You are so brave.
It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on court.
You are so creative and skillful.
I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
I admire your courage to compete.
Your optimism is contagious- I love when you smile.
This is my favorite part of the week.
I love being your parent and/or coach.

Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system. Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)

All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.

The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Dalai Lama

TEAMWORK

Posted on January 24, 2018 by Frank Giampaolo in Raising Athletic Royalty

The following post is an excerpt from Raising Athletic Royalty NOW available through most online retailers!
Click Here to Order

TEAMWORK

LESSON: The Superstar That Never Was

Possibly one of the greatest baseball players ever born into this world was Jonathan Miguel from Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Jonathan had the physical size, talent, drive, determination, and work ethic to be a zillionaire in Major League Baseball. His brain type and body type were tailor-made for the big leagues. His genetic predisposition was perfect. Unfortunately for him and the rest of the world, his parents weren’t willing to sacrifice and do what it took to raise athletic royalty.

Jonathan grew up witnessing less talented boys from his small Caribbean island make it to the big show. Sadly, this superstar never saw the bright lights of a big league baseball stadium. He never played in an official little league game.

Jonathan was born into a family with no interest in sports. His father said dreaming of a career in sports wasn’t practical. His mother wasn’t any better. Her reoccurring answer to his pleas was always the same. “Jonathan, no one from our family ever made it big at anything. We’re just simple people, nothing more.” Neither parent shared his dream.

Like most families from his island, they were dirt poor. Jonathan’s father drove a cab and worked at the local bakery. Each day his mom babysat the neighborhood children along with Jonathan and his three sisters. Jonathan now 28 years old drives a cab in Santo Domingo. His car radio is always glued to the local sports channel. He drives the city streets in a dreamlike state imagining what it would have been like to have gotten his shot at baseball. Most nights he can be found parked by one of the dozens of local little league baseball diamonds. He grabs a seat on the bleachers watching the privileged kids, as he waits for the call to his next destination.

Parents, without your commitment to becoming educated in the process, your little superstar doesn’t have a chance.

“COACHES AND TRAINERS WILL COME AND GO. THE FAMILY IS A ‘LIFELONG’ TEAM.”

The Missing Link to Maximizing Player Potential

Posted on December 8, 2017 by Frank Giampaolo in Customized Organizational Plan, Maximizing Tennis Potential

Parents Educated about the Tennis Developmental Process:
The Missing Link to Maximizing Player Potential

To maximize tennis potential, it is crucial that the competitive tennis player develop strokes, athleticism, emotional and mental strengths. Unfortunately, many parents are led to believe that developing stroke proficiency is enough. Great primary strokes and solid athleticism is a terrific start but without the development of the mental and emotional skill sets the athlete will not thrive in the elite levels. Educating the tennis parents about the tennis developmental process will help facilitate the proper development of the athlete.

A great analogy is the home computer. A fully functioning computer system is dependent on its hardware and its software. One without the other is useless to the home user. The same holds true for your junior athlete. The athlete’s hardware includes their physical strokes and movement, and their software includes their mental and emotional components.

Systematically developing your child’s hardware and software will produce more confident, self-reliant and skilled competitors as well as young adults.

The Laundry List

Posted on October 23, 2014 by Frank Giampaolo in Parent Player Communication

Greetings,

I am pleased to announce that my new book is soon to be released: Raising Athletic Royalty: Insights to Inspire for a Lifetime. It is your go to guide to motivating and nurturing the greatness found in your children.

There is no doubt that parental modeling plays the most significant role in the way an athlete is nurtured. Children instinctively imitate their parent’s behaviors, attitudes and moral conduct. This makes supportive and informed (athletic) parental nurturing essential in maximizing a child’s potential at the quickest rate, regardless of the chosen passion/endeavor.

The code of excellence we all wish to imprint on our children cannot be taught in only a few hours a week by a gifted coach. These life lessons need to be nurtured day in and day out by their parents.

LESSON: The Laundry List

“Great game men,” said Coach Stevens. “You guys are improving every week. We are one heck of a football team! Every one of you gave it your all out there and I’m so proud! Keep up the good work! I’ll see you Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. at Riley Park for practice… READY BREAK!”

Every kid was smiling and laughing walking off the game day field, except for Randy.

Randy knew what was to come. He was a quiet ball of knots as he slowly headed toward his father’s car adding a limp to his gait to support a fake injury while holding his iphone in hand ready to text his friend about homework the moment he got into the car. These were just a few of the aversion tactics Randy regularly employed to lessen the barrage of criticism that was sure to come from his father. If he pretended to be injured and was addressing the importance of homework he needed to complete, then his father may go easy on him.

You see Randy’s dad believed that he was actually helping Randy by watching every game and compiling a detailed laundry list of Randy’s failed plays, mistakes and improvement issues. Randy’s dad didn’t even realize that he was destroying his son’s confidence and self-esteem by pointing out his every flaw. No matter how good Randy was, it was not good enough. No matter how long Randy trained, it was not long enough. No matter how many things Randy fixed, his dad would find more flaws.

Mr. Wilson did not have a clue that the only thing he was cultivating was excuses, no effort and zero enjoyment for the sport, not to mention a seriously unhealthy family environment. After all, why in the world would Randy want to play if it only led to a new laundry list of why he’s so slow, uncoordinated and stupid?

Parents, remember that the only comments you should make directly after competition are motivational and positive comments like: “I wish I had the guts to go out there and perform like that.”, “I think it’s so cool watching you out there.”, “You’re getting better and better everything day.”, “Did you have fun out there today?” or “You’re playing great; let me know if I can help you with anything!” Motivating the growth you seek comes from optimism and not from pessimism. Continually reminding your children of their failures is futile. Instead, after each game or practice session, support your child’s efforts with love and praise.

If you or your spouse possess this dreaded parental laundry list of failure disease, begin to replace the list of negative remarks with positive ones.

If you deeply feel that your laundry list is insightful and important to the growth of your child, I suggest asking the coach if you can email the list to him after the game. Then ask him if he can pay special attention to those issues. Chances are that your child will accept the valid feedback if it is presented by the coach instead of the parent. A good coach should have a better way of presenting the issues in an optimistic and positive light.

Thanks for visiting, Frank

Contact Frank: Email: fgsa@earthlink.net

Web Site: www.MaximizingTennisPotential.com

Web Site: www.tennisparentsolutions.com