The following post is an excerpt from soon to be released second edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible. Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo
PRE-MATCH COMMUNICATION
Successful coaches and perceptive parents know that nonverbal communication is the single most powerful form of communication. People don’t need to say anything for their stress, nervousness, and anxiety to be felt and adopted by others. Before matches, smart players are trying to morph into their competitive “performance goal” state of mind. Parents, if you feel that a spouse or coach is unknowingly sabotaging your child’s pre-match positive mind set, ask them to please read this section with you. The following section lists inappropriate match-day topics for both coaches and parents.
“Negative thoughts only go away once they’re replaced by positive thoughts.”
Inappropriate Pre-Match Communication
Negative: Discussing the need for a perfect performance.
Negative: Explaining why today’s match is the most important of your career.
Negative: Describing the consequences of the outcome, such as the player’s spot in the team’s lineup, the team’s position in the overall league rankings, or the individual’s position in the overall rankings.
Negative: Detailing how much time or money has been spent on their career.
Negative: Informing your child that “the opponents ranked 98 spots ahead of us.”
Negative: Informing your child that “She’s top 3 in the nation and just won the Super Nationals and is essentially unbeatable.
Negative: Reminding them that today’s match will be a huge win for us.
Negative: Listing all the good players the opponent has already beaten.
Negative: Talking about what others will say “if you win or if you lose.”
Negative: Hinting that “If you win your ranking will skyrocket into the top 20 . . . if you don’t blow it.”
Negative: Giving last-minute negative advice such as reminding your athlete about all their weaknesses that still needs to be corrected.
Parents and coaches, I’d like to offer this reminder once again, please don’t tell your junior athlete to suppress a harmful thought, such as reminding them not to double fault. The human brain doesn’t work that way. The more they try to block it out, the larger it looms. Instead, ask them to simply replace the negative thought with a useful, positive proactive thought and the negative thought dies out quietly. Such as “Here we go, toss to my spot and here comes a huge big kick serve.”
Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
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