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The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
Post-Match Banter
Remember that every use of force, even the smallest, creates a counterforce. Like Newton’s third law, “For every action… there’s an equal opposite reaction.” Parents’ match play observations delivered to an athlete right after the competition create a love of competition or distaste for competition. Here’s an insightful question for us adults: What if our boss gave us their list of everything we did wrong at the end of every day? I know I’d be looking for a new job ASAP!
Solution:
- Spend a week practicing not giving unsolicited advice to your young athlete.
- Stop yourself and choose silence.
- Give your child the time to organize their solutions.
Here’s a fact, your words become your child’s inner dialogue at future crunch time. So, if your post-performance banter is repeatedly heard as “you’re not good enough,” guess what they’re thinking as they’re trying desperately to close out another match?
Parents unknowingly destroy the inner belief needed by their junior athletes. Analyzing performance is terrific for those detailed data collectors, but please follow up the analysis by texting your findings to the coach instead of sharing them with your child. Post-match, your child only needs to hear one question from you: What kind of ice cream are you getting today? All they need to feel from you is how much you love to watch them play and how proud you are of them.
