Tag Archives: sports anxiety

Stop Worrying About What Others Think- Part 1

Posted on September 18, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Stop Worrying About What Others Think

 

One of the leading causes of performance anxiety is worrying about what others think. This unproductive energy zapper is a choice and an incredibly bad choice at that! This section will prove why. Let’s call on the twins, to see how they view worrying about what others think about them.

 

Question: Does the opinion of other players, coaches and/or parents matter to you?

Evan: Well, what’s right for someone else may be completely wrong for me.  I’d rather let go of both the good and bad opinions and simply have faith in my skills. This is emotional aptitude, right Frank? Trusting your own opinions, decisions, abilities, and living on your own terms?

Jarrod: In the past I wanted the better players to like me, so I actually unknowingly tanked my matches with them. I respected them too much. I just let them win.  I wasn’t sure why. I thought if I let them win… they’d like me. Kind of crazy, right? Now after talking about this emotional aptitude stuff, I realize that the fastest way to be liked is by beating them.

 

Question: Is the need to be accepted by other athletes holding you back?

Evan: I love being part of a team, but tennis isn’t a team sport. It’s an individual sport. I let go of the need to be accepted years ago and decided it’s in my best interest to customize my training. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the socialization of group training, but if that’s all I did, I would definitely be an average player, at best!

Jarrod: When I was young and naïve, I believed the other athletes in the group when they said that the group clinic was their only training. Later, I realized that they often snuck away and did extra private lessons to secretly get ahead of the rest of us. Pretty sneaky huh?

 

Question: Is the need for peer approval holding you hostage?

Evan: When I was in junior high, I procrastinated and avoided doing what’s right for me. I also wanted everyone to like me, so I tried to blend in and not stand out.  This limited my growth opportunities because I couldn’t get better and with an average work ethic. I was exhausting trying to please the cool people.

Jarrod: I am finally seeing how emotional aptitude really is important. I used to try to do too much- never wanting to miss the fun. I would never say no. Looking back, trying to please all my non-athletic friends really hurt my development.

 

 

Managing Fear and Risk Part 1

Posted on August 5, 2018 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order

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I’ve been a high-performance tennis coach for over 30 years. I thrived comfortably in relative obscurity, enjoying the Southern California sun working with nationally ranked junior tennis players and coaching coaches. For 20 of those years, I secretly dreamt of writing my own tennis instructional books to positively impact the coaching industry while traveling the world.

Procrastination dominated those 20 years. I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I lacked the courage to risk leaving my base and losing my successful coaching business if I were to begin traveling. It seemed too dangerous. What if I failed?  What if the books bombed?  What if I wasn’t as smart as I thought?

My internal dialog was telling me that even though I had something special to share, I shouldn’t risk a good thing. I didn’t have professional speaking experience. Why did I think I could write books?

I intuitively knew that I had to risk leaving relative comfort behind and put my old career in jeopardy in order to attract a larger audience and share my experiences and tennis developmental theories. I researched the fear and risk management process and began writing The Tennis Parents Bible. My goal was simply to complete it and if it helped a single parent or coach along their journey that would be a bonus.

 

Back then, no one could have told me I would go on to write four, #1 bestsellers, coach the ITF coaches and speak at the largest conferences and grand slams around the world.

Athletes respond to risk and fear differently. In my experience, while most athletes are initially overly cautious, some are overly adventurous. Success and failure in competition greatly depend on how the athlete responds to fear and risk. Results, both positive and negative, stem from repeated behavior. An athlete’s behavior is created by their attitude. Therefore, understanding and managing our athlete’s attitude toward fear and risk is worth exploring.

A great place to start when managing an athlete’s attitude is establishing a baseline of their thoughts and behaviors concerning the following common stumbling blocks. Begin by answering the following question:

  • Do they have an adversity towards fear and risk? Is it extreme or mild?
  • Are they tolerant towards fear and risk?
  • Do they seek out fearful or risky endeavors? Is it extreme or mild?

Athletes possess different degrees of fear and risk depending on the conditions. For example, in competition, one athlete may exhibit extreme tolerance and grit while playing tennis behind the baseline and extreme adversity and fear when attacking the net. Other athletes may excel on the practice court displaying almost flawless stroke production only to shut down, choke or panic in competition. At the other end of the spectrum, some athletes possess no fear and live for the thrill of competition.

 

“Some extreme athletes hold only mild fear as they seek canoeing over Niagara Falls or bungee jumping over the Bhote Kosi River.”

 

Most coaches hope that their athlete’s strokes and athleticism have authority and command over their performance, but I believe it’s their emotional aptitude that actually runs the show.

When working with players who have issues with fear and risk, begin by asking yourself the following six questions to identify the athlete’s level of emotional awareness.

  • What is their cognitive design? Do they understand their brain preferences?
  • How do they view the feared situation?
  • Do they appreciate the opportunity to be able to compete?
  • Are there past bias or experiences they need to let go?
  • Will they accept a strategic, proactive plan to attack their issues?
  • Are they willing to train correctly for the mission at hand?