Tag Archives: tennis parenting

Tennis- The Psychology of Listening

Posted on August 10, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
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The Psychology of Listening

For a youngster to mentally process your message, the athlete must pay attention to the essence of the ideas. Most children never get past their parent’s tone of voice and nonverbal clues. Digesting the message isn’t easy for most junior athletes. Once the message is perceived as negative, they stop listening. So use a bit of reverse psychology and apply optimistic solutions instead of the laundry list of their problems. This method detaches the athlete from their ego.

Young athletes are typically lost in their judgmental thoughts, so the listener often distorts the message.

“One who understands what to say has knowledge; one who understands when to say it has wisdom.”

Magnifying the negative and forgetting the positive is a typical communication obstruction. Every athlete, parent, and coach have a unique communication style. There are four basic communication styles (passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and dominating). It’s important to understand that if your style isn’t working, change your communication system to fit your listener.

Solution: Understand your communication system. Try to downgrade your tone of voice to a calm, relaxed cadence to get your meaning heard. When choosing to discuss their failures, switch the problems with the solutions. Add player accountability to problem-solving using the “Ask, don’t tell.” teaching method. After all, top athletes are nurtured to solve their problems.

Try to focus on giving without expecting, argue less, stop comparing your child with their peers, avoid participating in gossip, eliminate judgment, and choose not to live vicariously through your child.

Junior Tennis- The Investment

Posted on August 5, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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The Investment

Andy: “My kids are getting interested in tennis. Why was your daughter so into it?” Did she win all the time?”
Frank: “While she was top in the National rankings and played the US Open by 15, she lost most weeks.”
Andy: “So, why did you keep her in it?”
Frank: “To help me teach a moral compass, positive character, and life skills.”
Andy: “I hear tennis is an expensive sport?”
Frank: “Chasing greatness in anything comes with a high price. Being mediocre is easy.”
Andy: “So what did you and your athlete get out of it?”

Solution: Parents, you’re not paying for tennis. Let’s be clear; tennis is just a vehicle. You’re paying for opportunities to help you develop life skills. The investment is in their physical, mental, and emotional hyper-growth. These attributes developed through tennis are what college coaches and later employers seek. Participation in sports covertly helps develop world-class leaders. You are spending money placing your athlete into challenging situations, such as when they want to quit but persist. When they don’t want to go to practice at 6:30 am, but they do. When they’re “too scared” to battle but they learn to fight on and preserver.

Parents investing in raising an elite tennis player are also investing in superior life skills, such as:

  • Building the discipline required to develop the physical, mental, and emotional skills necessary to be abnormally great.
  • Gaining the learned experience of personal goal setting, resiliency, and dedication to a craft.
  • Learning good sportsmanship- to be humble when dealing with victories and be classy in defeat.
  • Instilling a strong work ethic through years and years of hard work on and off the court.

Accomplished athletes will have more success and life experiences in their teens than some people achieve in their entire lives. Developing a world-class person is difficult at best and doesn’t happen overnight, but what is the alternative? Your child can be on the tennis court or sitting on the couch in front of two screens thumbing through social media on their phone, eating cheese puffs while playing the latest video game on their computer.

Tennis- Successful Parental Habits

Posted on July 30, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Successful Parental Habits

Tennis parents rarely get the spotlight, but without their influence and leadership, most athletes wouldn’t even make their local high school squad. I chatted with the parents of my top nationally ranked juniors to find out what they had in common. These parents teach their children ownership of their tennis careers. Below are six commonalities found in the parents of top competitors.

Solutions:

  1. After each tennis lesson, these parents ask their athletes to teach them the concepts they’ve just learned. Learning by teaching solidifies their knowledge, which improves confidence. Communication skills enhance memorization.
  2. For each private lesson their athlete takes, they schedule a hitting session or a practice match utilizing those improvements. Solidifying stroke adjustments takes repetition. Memorizing new material in the form of plays and patterns takes time.
  3. Successful tennis parents have their athletes play sets with paid college hitters. The parent hires the hitter and instructs them to play the style their child has trouble with in competition.
  4. These parents ask them to rehearse their secondary tools, and contingency game plans in group training sessions. They know if their player doesn’t rehearse their plan B, it likely won’t hold up under pressure.
  5. If their child despises playing a retriever, they ask their coaches to stop simply grooving to each other in practice and develop the keep-away patterns used to pull retrievers out of their game.
  6. Successful tennis parents replace some of the hours of drilling with completing practice sets. Practicing in the manner, they’re expected to perform requires a different set of skills than most academy training. Software management stems from being judged, and that involves competition. Being a great competitor is different from being a great stationary ball striker.

Tennis Training Anticipation

Posted on July 3, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Training Anticipation

Competitive tennis is a violent game of keep away, not catch. Plan on each match being a 2-hour dog fight and plan on multiple matches daily on tournament days.

Yes, your athlete’s legs and lungs need to be at their peak performance level but preparing your athlete includes more than cardio endurance, speed, and agility. Factor into the equation anticipatory speed. This hidden skill set holds many benefits. Anticipation assists your athlete with their ability to quickly and accurately predict the outcome of actions even before that action occurs.

Roger Federer rarely appears hurried when executing strokes. The high-speed film confirms that he reacts and moves earlier than most competitors. His ability to apply agility and stability with his body and head through the strike zone is legendary. His early detection is essential for delivering and receiving on the run. So, how do top players like Federer do it?

Solution: Professionals acquire knowledge of their opponent’s favorite sequence of shots in particular circumstances. Athletes at the higher level all have preferred options of plays and patterns. They use pre-match video analysis and scouting reports to predict performance. If your athlete is preparing to play in the high-performance arena, I suggest uncovering ways to develop this incredible, secret skill set of predicting possibilities.

When my daughter played her first 14’s finals in the Hard Courts in Georgia, six fathers of her competitors videotaped her performance as a future scouting report. Yes, acquiring knowledge about opponents starts early.

Changing Inner Belief

Posted on April 10, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
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Changing Inner Belief

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Teach your athlete that we all have empowering and destructive beliefs. Remind them that the power of positive inner belief will become thoughts that guide their new actions.

It’s important to note: Athletes can’t outplay their belief system, so if they think they can or can’t, they’re usually right.

One of the reasons that it’s challenging to change emotional habits is that the athlete is usually loyal to them only because they’ve believed in them for so long. Changing their perspective will take commitment from the athlete, parent, and coach. If your athlete is willing to improve their inner belief at crunch time, these ten tips are for you.

Solutions: Parents, please ask your athlete to utilize the following tips:

  1. Choose inner dialog and positive self-talk that boosts confidence versus the standard negative monologue that derails confidence.
  2. Please list of all your unique strengths, then one by one, appreciate them.
  3. Employ SMART goals which are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Reminder: Winning every time isn’t a smart goal.
  4. Develop a skill each day. Inner belief comes from growth.
  5. Seek new inspiring mentors as trusted advisors.
  6. Nourish your inner belief by exchanging pointless social media with informative YouTube posts regarding confidence and belief.
  7. The human mind magnifies the bad. So, review the matches you were clutch under pressure versus those you gifted away.
  8. Focus on what could go right versus what could go wrong.
  9. Remember: Where your focus goes, energy flows.”
  10. If you’re going to have an attitude, make it gratitude.

Changing inner belief begins with these ten simple reminders.

Praise Effort Not Results

Posted on February 5, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Psychology of Tennis Parents

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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Chapter One Excerpt- Nurturing Happiness

 

Praise Effort, Not Results

When parents say, “Ethan, if you win the whole event, we’ll buy you a new computer game!”

The reality is that winning is out of Ethan’s control. An athlete can influence winning a tournament but can’t control it. There are far too many variables to manage in a match. Outcome goals create an anxious environment and obstruct the learning process. Parents should instead encourage process goals and view each match as a learning experience. The research is very consistent: praise effort, not results.

Solution: Replace this outcome bribe with an attainable goal, “Ethan, if you hit your three performance goals each match this event, we’ll buy you a new computer game.” Now Ethan is given a goal within his control.

After the tournament, parents should avoid discussing the laundry list of mistakes their athletes made during the match. This negative list of faults destroys your athlete’s self-esteem and confirms that they are broken and unworthy. Parents should send their match notes to their athlete’s coach, and the coach can address the issues during practice. Avoid a post-match verbal attack.

Lastly, parents avoid using their friend’s success against them. Praising their rival’s positive results compounds the pressure. Praising your athlete’s effort instead keeps them focused on the improvement process.

Available Now The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Posted on February 2, 2023 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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INTRODUCTION

 

It’s our job as parents and coaches to teach the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. The Psychology of Tennis Parenting will help the reader uncover how to juggle both topics. Your family’s happiness depends on your ability to navigate the waters. As I’ve said a thousand times:

“Educated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s motors…uneducated parents about the developmental process are the ship’s anchors.”

If your athlete is already competing, you have seen that winning titles requires more than just athletic ability. The prerequisite is a healthy mental state: emotional fitness and psychological strength matter. Our emotions determine our course of action, and these pages assist you in shaping the mental and emotional state of the athlete and their entourage of coaches and trainers.

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting is a tool to assist the parents and coaches in forming their athlete’s life skills and positive character traits. Changing bad habits is the prelude to winning higher-level matches. After all, winning and losing doesn’t just happen. The quality of one’s preparation determines success.

This book will teach parents how to educate their children to advocate for themselves, be assertive under pressure, make good decisions, and, most importantly, apply gratitude along the journey.

More Expert Industry Testimonials

Posted on January 24, 2023 by in The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

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EXPERT INDUSTRY TESTIMONIALS

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In our ever-changing world, raising an exceptional athlete seems to have more and more challenges. Frank paints a beautiful roadmap that navigates the difficult relationships between player, parent, and coach. He gives parents some tremendous ideas on how they can best help their child reach their potential. Frank has done a number of camps with our high-performance juniors and their families, and we receive nothing but rave reviews. I highly recommend this book for all families with young athletes.

Bob Hochstadter, President USTA Southern California

 

“Frank is a big asset to the Southern California Tennis Association in the world of player development and The Psychology of Tennis. Our parents, players, and coaches are lucky to have his knowledge, drive and passion front and center. Those that work with his philosophy and understanding of the game; instantaneously become better. I have seen it over and over. There are very few coaches that capture your attention and make the game easier to understand at any level. I wish that I would have had him with me as I pursued my dreams and aspirations. Simple and realistic concepts that will help you, the parent/player, navigate the game successfully. Take advantage of every opportunity you get to hear Frank speak or read his material. You will get better.”

Trevor Kronemann, Executive Director SCTA/USTA

 

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting is amazing! Every parent and coach need to read this book repeatedly and apply its lessons with their children and their students. Kudos to Frank for bringing his knowledge and wisdom to the world to help parents and their most prized possessions, their children. I highly recommend this book if you want to improve in all areas of life.

Jeff Salzenstein, Former Top 100 ATP Singles and Doubles Player, Stanford All-American, USTA High Performance Coach, Performance Coach, And Speaker

 

“This is a must-read for every tennis parent. Frank cuts right to the chase on navigating the tricky times ahead and creating a game plan as a supportive parent. He not only gives real-world examples but also backs them up with science. This will be my go-to recommendation to anyone looking to step up their role as a tennis parent.”

Danny Bryan, LSU Mens Head Coach, Louisiana

 

“For decades it has been abundantly clear that parents can play either a very positive or even a very negative role in the development of tennis playing juniors. Most fall in between but ALL can improve but most need help. Frank has stepped to the plate once again to assist. It is safe to say that any parent who reads and applies even a small part of this book will benefit for a lifetime.”

Joe Dinoffer, President, On Court Off Court, Texas

Pre-Order for Only 0.99 Cents

Posted on January 20, 2023 by in The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Pre-order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

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“As a coach, navigating the relationships between Coach, Player and Parents are tricky at best. Everyone wants the best result for the player, and The Psychology of Tennis Parenting provides a clear road map. A must-read for serious parents and coaches!”

Chuck Gill, USPTA President (Past), Florida

 

“A much-needed book about a very important subject. Frank organized years of expertise and knowledge in a masterpiece for any tennis parent”.

Cassiano Costa, Ph.D. Costa performance, Florida

 

Being a tennis parent was the most challenging job in my 50 years of tennis coaching and playing. We care so much for our junior players that we often don’t realize the consequences of our love.

Frank has a unique perspective that can assist you in being the best tennis parent you can be. In turn, your junior player will get the best care, direction, and love from you – to be the best they can be. This is a MUST-READ for every tennis parent!

Ken DeHart, PTR Hall of Fame/PTR International Master Pro, 2 Time PTR International Pro of the Year/USPTA Master Pro, USPTA Life Time Achievement Award Winner, 4 Time USPTA Divisional Pro of the Year, California

“If your child loves tennis and is competing, do yourself a favor and invest in Frank’s newest book, The Psychology of Tennis Parenting. Frank walks you through the competitive junior tennis minefield so that you and your child will enjoy the process.”

Jorge Capestany, master coach, owner TennisDrillsTV, Michigan

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Posted on January 17, 2023 by in The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Released on January 28, 2023

The Psychology of Tennis Parenting

Pre-order your eBook copy for only 0.99 Cents on Amazon

CLICK HERE

INDUSTRY TESTIMONIALS

“Frank Giampaolo has done it yet again. I have had the pleasure of reading most of his 10 great books, but “The Psychology of Tennis Parenting” is his best and most relevant publication to date! He absolutely nails it when addressing one of the most important challenges facing youth sports today – that of the role of the parent in the development of the athlete.

Frank understands the importance of the parent’s role in this development. We all want the best for our children, but often our good intentions produce less-than-desirable results. This is the main reason that 70% of our youth leave their sport by the time they reach high school, and tennis is no exception.

The vast experience Frank has gained working with athletes of all abilities and with their parents has given him valuable insight into specific and positive ways to address the challenges of competition. Parents of successful athletes play a critical role in their child’s development and in their ability to thrive under pressure, both on and off the court.

“This extremely well-written book provides a tangible and indispensable road map for all – the athlete, the parent, and the coach. It feels good that information is presented in a positive manner we can all take to heart without feeling we are being talked down to. In fact, it is a “must-read!” Thank you, Frank Giampaolo, for this incredible contribution!”

Dick Gould, Emeritus: Men’s Tennis Coach; Director of Tennis Stanford University (1966-2018), California

 

“Few coaches have Frank’s experience and expertise when it comes to understanding the mental and emotional components of high-performance tennis. More than just technique and tactics, he delves deeper to develop a player’s psychological capabilities. This book will be an indispensable resource if you’re a parent or coach with an aspiring junior.”

Jon Levey, Editor Tennis Magazine, Tennis.com, Connecticut

 

“Success in junior tennis and beyond requires a ‘Trust triangle’ between the player, parent, and coach. Each can maximize their potential by understanding their role. People go through all sorts of schooling and education to be prepared for any field of endeavor. Unfortunately, parents are thrust into the minefield-laden world of junior competitive tennis with less education than even the simplest jobs.

Frank’s new book provides a practical guide for the critical job of tennis parenting. Good intentions don’t cut it. This is required reading for any parent serious about doing what is best for their child and not adding to the current high drop-out and burn-out rate statistics.”

Wayne Elderton, Tennis Director-North Vancouver Tennis Centre, Tennis Canada Head Course Facilitator-British Columbia

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