Tag Archives: tennis

ELITE TENNIS PARENT JOB POST

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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ELITE TENNIS PARENT JOB POST

 

Before we dig deeper into the more serious components of the tennis parent’s role, let’s first laugh a bit about what a “Tennis Parent Needed” internet job post would look like…

With “tongue firmly in cheek” I created the below piece for Tennis Magazine which ran last year. The point of detailing this incredibly difficult and sometimes thankless job is to acknowledge the love and dedication that go into developing and nurturing your child’s life skills.

 

 

Tennis Parent Job Description:

  • Positive team player needed for 168 hour per week position.
  • Candidate must possess a universal desire to be screamed at, talked down to and be willing to be hated 5-6 days a week.
  • Successful applicant must have an uncanny sense of “Buddha like” calmness in an often psychotic, stressful, chaotic environment.
  • Candidate must be willing to work early mornings, late evenings and most weekends.
  • Candidate must be willing to forget about their own personal interests, workout routines, sports and hobbies.
  • Candidate must not expect to go on vacation due to the year round tournament obligations.
  • Successful applicant should plan on missing traditional family holidays due to Thanksgiving Nationals, Winter Super Nationals, Spring Break/Easter Bowl, Labor Day and Memorial Day Events.

 

Requirements:

  • H R Skills– Interviewing, hiring and firing tennis coaches, trainers, hitters and off court specialists…with the enthusiasm of Donald Trump.
  • Accounting /Banking Skills- Possess an extremely thick check book and be willing and able to max out all of their major credit cards.
  • Designated Driver- Must be willing to put 100 thousand miles on the family car and enjoy most of your meals behind the wheel.
  • Expect your child to occasionally go “Tennis-Brain Dead“- Be willing and able to except that your child will occasionally forget everything they were taught during the last $5000.00 worth of lessons and blow several events a year.
  • Scheduling Manager- World class juggling skills required to organize the ever changing schedules of booking practice courts, times & logistics, hired hitters practice partners, lessons and events.
  • Booking Agent– Flexible skills required to book last minute airlines, cars and hotels.
  • VIP/24 Hour Courier Service: Laundry service, racquet re-stringing service, drug store pharmaceuticals pickup and delivery service, bed time psychology sessions.
  • Fashion Coordinator/Personal Shopper- Purchasing only the latest and greatest shoes and matching clothes.
  • Maintenance Knowledge– General Maintenance of equipment such as racquet re-gripping, clothing malfunctions, shoe lace replacement…
  • Parental Intuition- Must have the uncanny ability to become expendable and invisible in a seconds notice and/or appear bright eyed/ happy to help two minutes later.
  • Match Performance Review- Must be willing to evaluate a crummy performance by first pointing out fifty positive observations but NEVER share negative feedback without starting WWIII.

 

Wages and Expenses:

  • There is no pay for this position.
  • All the work and travel related expenses will not be reimbursed.

 

INTRODUCTION TO THE TENNIS PARENT’S JOB DESCRIPTION- Part 3

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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POSITIVE VERSUS NEGATIVE PSYCHOLOGY

 

“Guidance from a coach or parent with a negative mindset is extremely toxic to a child.”

 

Exposing and destroying pessimistic beliefs and attitudes is an integral part of my daily mission, both personally and professionally. It’s your job as the tennis parent to eliminate these poisons from your athlete’s world.

Sadly, it’s often a parent, sibling, friend or coach that’s feeding the negative beliefs and pessimistic attitudes. It is in your best interest to remedy this issue or remove the negative source(s) from the child’s tennis entourage.

Parents, just as it is your duty to remove negative psychology, it is your responsibility to teach positive psychology. Teach belief and confidence, find their motivational buttons, develop their desire and hunger for mastering the game and teach them to embrace the challenge. These positive life lessons are part of raising athletic royalty.  If you teach the love of the game and the benefits of commitment, your athlete will progress seamlessly through the losses, technical difficulties, injuries and bad luck that come with athletics.

Allow the tennis teachers to teach, the coaches to coach and the trainers to train because as you know now, the tennis parent’s job description is far too comprehensive to micro manage each entourage’s role.

 

Mind Sets: Fixed versus Growth

Similar to the two sides of psychology, there are also two mind sets. Coaches often see student’s with either a fixed mind set or a growth mind set. While the athlete’s genetic predisposition is undoubtedly present, it’s most often the nurtured opinions of their parents, siblings and coaches that set their outlook.

  • A person with a debilitating fixed mind set truly believes that they cannot change. They are extremely rigid, view the world as black or white and are uninterested in change. Their unwillingness to accept new challenges often results in remaining average at best.
  • A person with a growth mind set believes that their opinions, outlooks, attitudes and abilities can and will change throughout their lives. Growth mind set individuals are more willing and open to accept change in the name of progress/improvement.

 

“Raising athletic royalty is a direction, not a destination. What you choose to teach your children now will live on for generations to come.”

 

I find that parents who encourage both positive psychology and a growth mind set are developing much more than a future athlete, they are developing future leaders.

 

 

INTRODUCTION TO THE TENNIS PARENT’S JOB DESCRIPTION- Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

Frank Giampaolo

 

THE THREE PHASES OF ATHLETE DEVELOPMENT

 

Once you’ve discovered which type of tennis parent you want to be, the next step is to identify which phase of development best categorizes your child’s current level. All too often, parents have an unrealistic view of their child’s current phase of development.  This is a result of the parent’s lack of awareness into the developmental process.

Due to personality profiles, growth development schedules and maturity levels, I don’t like to pigeon-hole athletes based on their age. At each level, customization is encouraged. It is very common to find mature 9 year olds in phase 3 and immature 17 year olds in phase 1. Customization is the key.

 

The Introductory Phase:

In this stage of the game, children are sampling many sports. The primary objective is enjoyment while developing sound fundamentals.

Special Note: I’m a firm believer that proper motor programming is essential. Allowing a child to groove poor mechanics only to spend thousands of wasted dollars, hours and tears fixing them later doesn’t make sense. You can still laugh and have fun while developing world class strokes.

The Developmental Phase:

Also known as the intermediate phase. In this stage, tennis is the main hobby. Social clinics are the norm. Specialized training has begun and juniors are experiencing sectional tournament play.

Special Note: This is when the parents, uneducated in the process unintentionally push talented athletes away from the sport by allowing them to train like a hobbyist and then expect the child to be getting championship results.

The Break-Through Phase:

In this stage, athletes are dedicated to the sport and are engaged in full time training. Each component of the game is developed as the athlete begins to invest in the future. Players begin to look towards National level or ITF level events to secure a college tennis scholarship at a major university.

Special Note: This is when a shift from hardware development (strokes and athleticism) to software development (mental and emotional) is most often needed.

 

 

INTRODUCTION TO THE TENNIS PARENT’S JOB DESCRIPTION- Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

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INTRODUCTION TO THE TENNIS PARENT’S JOB DESCRIPTION

 

“The parent is the architect of their child’s tennis career.”

 

Experts agree that there is a great need for an organizational blue-print for tennis parents, as well as parents of athlete’s in every chosen sport.  Until now, the role of the tennis parent has been controversial and mysterious. The ultimate quest of the The Tennis Parent’s Bible’s is to empower the tennis parent by defining their role. In my experience, a large percentage of the parents that I have worked with were optimistic and willing to learn about the tennis developmental process; while a small percentage of the tennis parents were perfectionists, pessimistic and unwilling to consider the possibility that their methods were counterproductive toward the athletic growth of their child.

 

“If you’re a bit of a perfectionist, this book is aimed at making you a “Recovering Perfectionists.”

 

Serious harmful consequences result from well-intended perfectionists’ imposing their beliefs and actions on their children, which ultimately poisons their children with negativity and an unwillingness to accept change which stunts their growth.

Listed below are the three types of tennis parents. The first group probably wouldn’t even pick up a book like this because their ego wouldn’t allow them to possibly be proven wrong – of course they already know all there is to know.  The second and third type of tennis parent shares my interest in raising athletic royalty. Let’s take a peek at the three types of tennis parent to see where you fit in.

 

Three Types of Tennis Parent’s

1) The Under Involved Parent:

  • The only sports they are passionate about is their own.
  • 100% sure that they already know it all and aren’t interested in learning more.
  • Unaware of the life lessons learned through sports.
  • Seek zero accountability for their child’s growth.
  • Oblivious towards their children’s personal desires.
  • Unable to attend weekend tournaments due to their heavy social calendar.
  • Unwilling to spend money on their child’s tennis.
  • Views their child’s sports as an inconvenience and a waste of time.

2) The CEO Facilitator Parent:

  • Educated about the process of raising athletic royalty.
  • Realizes that commitment demands long, mid and short term goal setting.
  • Understands the positive emotional demands of the parent and athlete.
  • Understands the logistical organizational demands of the parents/player/encourage.
  • Understands the lesson, clinics, sparring and tournament scheduling demands.
  • Understands the invaluable life lessons learned through participating in sports.

3) The Over Involved Parent:

  • Places too much emphasis on winning every drill, practice set and match.
  • Attempts to coach the athlete with no real coaching background.
  • Overly negative, pessimistic and critical.
  • Seeks a return on their financial investment.
  • Over-reacts to errors and losses.
  • Live vicariously through their child’s success.
  • Obsessed with the game and how it benefits their personal “agenda.”

 

A family’s moral code and developmental climate has a lifelong effect on the athlete, whether the parents know it or not. Because parents and coaches are so influential in shaping their young athletes, I urge you to take an optimistic approach to raising athletic royalty. It is my hopes that by reading this book you’ll fall into the CEO facilitator role of a world class tennis parent.

 

The Tennis Parent Mission Statement:

 

“I vow to create a positive experience for my child by providing optimistic emotional guidance, logistical,
organizational & financial support as I oversee my child’s entourage of coaches.”

ESTABLISHING EXPECTATIONS AND GUIDELINES

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
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frank

ESTABLISHING EXPECTATIONS AND GUIDELINES

 

“Being coachable is when the eagerness to improve over-rides the fear of change.”

 

Parents and coaches, plan on communicating your expectations to your athlete and entourage of coaches and trainers to develop an important alliance with the team. Defining the behaviors you expect from your athlete’s during both practice as well as in match play will pave the road for excellence in tennis and in life. This is especially important in the beginner and intermediate levels of the game.

 

My Top Twenty Tennis Coaching/Parental Expectations:

  • Place effort and improvement over having to win the match, social game or live ball drill.
  • On the court be grateful, enthusiastic and polite.
  • Arrive 10 minutes before your scheduled practice session to prepare.
  • Arrive on court dressed and ready to compete.
  • Avoid complaining or criticizing others.
  • Give the coach your best efforts and your undivided attention.
  • When the coach is talking, hold the balls. Stop, look him/her in the eyes and listen.
  • No cell phones allowed on court.
  • Move quickly between drills and during ball pick up – yes, the student helps pick up balls!
  • Hustle and give 100% effort.
  • Avoid negative tones, body language and facial expressions.
  • Avoid using profanity.
  • Admit mistakes and understand the cause of the error.
  • Come to practice with a pre-set game plan and an eagerness to learn.
  • Be open to constructive criticism.
  • Be willing to develop your weaknesses.
  • Stay fully committed and focused for the entire training session.
  • Rehearse staying focused and in a positive frame of mind for the entire training session.
  • Be aware of mistake management and unforced error accountability.
  • Practice in the manner you are expected to perform.

 

“Choosing to train below their capability breeds mediocrity.”

 

Athletes training without their deliberate, customized developmental plan in mind may be putting in high quantity, low quality work. This stunts their growth and tremendously minimizes any chance at performing at full potential.

IDENTIFYING THE LEVELS OF COMPETITIVE TENNIS

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IDENTIFYING THE LEVELS OF COMPETITIVE TENNIS

 

Recreational tennis is enjoyed around the world. The emphasis is on exercise, fundamental athletic skills, tons of fun, wearing the outfits, participation by all and social interactions. As skills are developed the recreational and social game is replaced by a new game called competitive tennis.

Different United States Tennis Association (USTA) sections proudly offer their unique versions of junior social competition in the forms of junior leagues, club junior teams and high school junior varsity levels. As players progress, they graduate to sectional competition in the forms of satellite tournaments, novice tournaments, open level tournaments, high school varsity, invitational or designated events. Players reaching the higher levels of their sectional events graduate to the national 1, 2 and 3 level events.

(Please visit USTA.com to familiarize yourself with the current eligibility rules and regulations of your section.)

Another “league” to consider is the International Tennis Federation (ITF) group of events. This international tour is becoming a popular path for families seeking to experience great competition while seeing the world. This junior league series consists of levels ranging from 5 (the lowest) to 1 (the highest). Athletes at the top of the standings are eligible to participate in the prestigious Grand Slam junior events.

In both the USTA and the ITF leagues, at the approximate age of 15, competitive juniors begin to shift their focus toward college tennis. On rare occasions, the world’s best youngsters begin to try their luck at the minor league levels of the professional game.

 

Juniors winning national titles or establishing a high ITF ranking earn the right to be offered the elusive wild card entries into Pro events. Contact your local sectional offices for information on eligibility for wildcards as well as their wildcard request forms.

NURTURING ATHLETIC ROYALTY

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

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Frank Giampaolo

NURTURING ATHLETIC ROYALTY

 

Parents, let’s take a moment and focus now on you. One of the most critical parental failures committed while raising athletic royalty is the way in which some parents choose to navigate their world.

 

“Kids tend to copy your actions and ignore your wishes.”

 

This is called modeling. The way you handle situations speaks volumes to your children. Your attitude, thoughts and daily moral code is being imprinted into your child’s psyche every hour of every day.

While on a recent coaching trip to the Island of Tobago, for an International Tennis Federation event, I had the opportunity to meet two fathers with opposing personality profiles; Mr. Vincent Lorenzo and Mr. Olson White.  Both fathers had kids competing in the tournament, they were both in their mid-40’s, slightly balding and carrying a few extra pounds.  Ironically, they both resided in New Jersey.

Like South Florida, tropical rain fall came like clockwork in Tobago. During the daily rain delays we spoke for hours on end under the tournament tent. I found that while the sons of Mr. Lorenzo and Mr. White had similar training environments, their inner sanctuary proved to be polar opposites.

 

The following are my observations after spending three days with the two east coast dads:

 

Mr Lorenzo fosters trust and belief in people. His New Jersey neighbor, Mr. White rolls his eyes and doubts everything and everyone. Mr. Lorenzo thinks things through, decides on an action plan and acts. Mr. White freezes, hesitates, over thinks about every possible failure and then fails to act in a timely manner.  Mr. Lorenzo focuses on the solution to a problem while Mr. White only complains about the same problem for hours and hours on end.

Mr Lorenzo prepares protocols to handle difficult situations beforehand. Mr. White has prepared dozens of excuses. Mr. Lorenzo is fine with working and earning his way through the world. Mr. White wishes and hopes he’ll win the lottery. While others talk, Mr. Lorenzo listens and retains pertinent information that may prove meaningful in the future, while Mr. White rolls his eyes, believing he already knows it all, and doesn’t bother to listen because he is too busy thinking of a way to one-up the others.

Mr. Lorenzo plans and visualizes success and Mr. White obsesses and complains about how nothing ever seems to work out for him.

Now, put yourself in the shoes of a NCAA coach with scholarship funds left to give away. Without ever meeting their boys, would you pick young Tony Lorenzo or young Stanley White?

Top coaches try to interview and spend time with the parents and junior coaches of their prospects to understand what’s being nurtured into the athlete. After all, the coach will have to deal with the baggage that comes along with the recruits.

 

“Great athletes are nurtured differently than good athletes.”

Parents, remember that an experienced coach can teach the technical nuances of a sport. A dedicated trainer can assist in building strong muscles and stamina. But you are your child’s life skills master teacher. Pay attention to your attitude, thoughts and actions because great athletes are nurtured differently than good athletes.

Key to Tennis Coaching Excellence

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

frank

 

 

PLAYER-COACH: INITIAL INFORMATION EXCHANGE

Most often, coaches begins their relationship with feeding balls and correcting fundamentals. I encourage coaches to begin their relationship by asking questions and truly listening to their students.  Maximizing player potential starts by uncovering the athlete’s personality, feelings, attitude and tennis IQ. This will aid in customizing the training regiments. Similar personality profiles shares common efficiency and deficiencies. Knowing the athlete’s personality profile will save hundreds of wasted hours in the developmental process. Encourage your athlete’s coach to engage in this type of information exchange. It will surely sets the tone for a positive relationship. Remember, all behavior is communicative so be aware of the nonverbal clues.

 

Nonverbal Clues Checklist:

  • Facial Expression
  • Body Language/Posture
  • Volume/Intonation
  • Choice of Words
  • Length of Thought Process
  • Length of Answers
  • Exact/Approximate Answers
  • Hand Gestures
  • Lower Body/Core Movement
  • Length of Focus

 

20 Assessment Questions:

  1. What level/division are you playing?
  2. Do you have a club, section, National or ITF ranking?
  3. Tell me about your athletic history?
  4. What are your short and long-term tennis goals?
  5. Tell me about your tennis entourage (parents/coaches)?
  6.  What’s your current weekly training regimen?
  7. What’s your primary and secondary styles of play?
  8. Tell me about your pre-match preparation?
  9. What style of opponent do you hate to play the most?
  10.  Are you patient or inpatient on court?
  11. What’s your shot tolerance level (comfortable length of point)?
  12. Do you respond after reasoning or before reasoning?
  13. Do you allow the opponent to self-destruct or do you preferred to strike bold winners?
  14. How well do you deal with intimidation, confrontation/gamesmanship?
  15. Do you enjoy surprises or avoid surprises?
  16. Are you comfortable being spontaneous/unscripted or deliberate/regimented?
  17. Are you inspired by the real/practical or imaginative/what could be?
  18. Do your thoughts wander between the past, present and the future?
  19. What’s your focus tolerance level (how long can you focus on a singular topic)?
  20. Do you think you’re getting the results you deserve?

 

Throughout this book, you will hear that it is the job of the parents and coaches to get into the athlete’s world as opposed to forcing the athlete into our world. Understanding why your athlete thinks the way they think and do what they do is a function of their genetic predisposition.

Listen to Your Athlete

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

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The New Year is here and it is a perfect time to re-evalute and organize your tennis goals.  I am asked often about the following post.  The reason I repost it each year is to help bring parents, coaches, and players together with open communication.  Wishing you all the best!  Frank

 

LISTENING

 

“Listening is the missing link of communication.”

 

The ability to listen is yet another crucial tennis parental skill.  It’s in the best interest of the tennis parent to create a positive, supportive and communicative environment to maintain healthy parent/child/coach relationships. To illustrate this point, I have included a letter that was written by a teenage girl to her father.

 

Dear Dad,

What I’m about to say is hard for me. So hard I can’t seem to look you in the eyes and say what I want to say. I guess I’m afraid.

Maybe it’s best this way. Maybe you’ll listen with your eyes since you haven’t been hearing me. Maybe you just want to see what you want to see. That’s the champion you’ve been forcing me to be.

Dad, are you listening?

I know you want what’s best for me. I know you believe all the messages you’re sending will make me a better player. Dad, communication isn’t just sending messages, it’s also receiving them.

Dad, are you listening?

Look at my face, there is no joy. I’m angry all the time. I still continue to play week after week, tournament after tournament. I’m sad. No I’m miserable. Why can’t you see that? Do you notice any of this? I utter how I hate competing. I protest every single practice and yet you push me to try harder. You demand, “Be tougher Sasha, you have to aim to be perfect!” Well Dad, I’m not perfect. I just want to be normal.

Dad, are you listening?

I’m depressed and confused and feel that this life is your life, not mine! I love you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me but I don’t think I want to play tennis any more.

Dad, are you listening?

Love, Sasha

 

Receiving this letter was a major blow to Sasha’s father Stan. Because Sasha and Stan were my clients, Stan immediately came to me with his drama.  He wanted know if he should just back off? He couldn’t believe she wanted to quit after all her success and the time she had invested into the sport.

Would gently pushing your child through a difficult stage in their career/development be the right thing to do? You bet! There isn’t a single champion who didn’t have a parent or paid authority figure pushing them past their comfort zone or carrying them when they couldn’t go on.

I asked Stan to ask Sasha this question, “Would it be alright to take a one month sabbatical?” Then, take her rackets away and hide them. Don’t even mention the word tennis to her. If she never again brings up the subject, then she is done. That means you have a normal, healthy child. Go on vacations, enjoy weekends and appreciate your family.

If the game begins to pull her back, then she’ll be engaged for all the right reasons. It’s about choices. Giving her some time to see for herself that being an average teen, playing video games, texting nonsense to her friends and hanging out at the same mall every weekend isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. She needs to see for herself that the grass isn’t always greener. She’s a great kid. She’s smart. Trust me, just let this play out.

 

By the tenth night of Sasha’s sabbatical, she was bored to tears. She came into her parent’s room and asked if they can hit a few balls tomorrow -with a new sense of purpose. Sasha went on a tear. She won two national titles in the following months.

 

 

Tennis and Life Lessons

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible
Available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

 

CULTIVATING LIFE LESSONS THROUGH TENNISfrank

 

Choosing to embark on this journey has lifelong benefits. It is widely known that the participation in the game of tennis cultivates life lessons. Tennis is an individual, elite sport that breed leaders.

 

“Congratulations for developing leadership qualities in your child.”

 

Communicating the important life lessons gained through tennis is a critical part of the tennis parent’s job description.

 

The Game of Tennis Inspires the Following Leadership Skills:

  1. Time management
  2. Adaptability and flexibility skills
  3. Ability to handle adversity
  4. Ability to handle stress
  5. Courage
  6. Positive work ethic
  7. Perseverance
  8. Setting priorities
  9. Goal setting
  10. Sticking to commitments
  11. Determination
  12. Problem solving skills
  13. Spotting patterns and tendencies
  14. Discipline
  15. Understanding of fair play and sportsmanship
  16. Development of focus
  17. Persistence
  18. Preparation skills
  19. Dedication and self-control
  20. Positive self-image

 

Without these important character skills, success on and off the court, simply won’t happen.  You see, achieving results requires thousands of hours of deliberate customized practice.  Without the above life skills, a deliberate developmental plan doesn’t happen.

 

Life skills à Process à Results

 

My favorite life lesson of the top 20 is persistence. As a coach, to see a talented player without persistence or the willingness to sacrifice and work hard is my worst nightmare! That is why at the junior levels it is often the slightly less talented who are willing to pay the price with smart work that earn all the trophies.

 

“Nothing is more common than unsuccessful tennis players with tons of physical talent.”

 

Finding a way through a tough opponent even though you’re having a bad day is persistence. Staying in the correct side of your brain even when things are clearly not going well is persistence. Staying engaged until the very last point is persistence. Now you know my favorite life lesson. What’s yours?