Tag Archives: tennis

Effective Listening- Part 4

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Effective Listening- Part 4

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Verbal Communication in the Digital World

It’s no secret that modern adolescents are obsessed with social media, tweeting, and texting. Kids are nurtured from the cradle to communicate through screens instead of interpersonal communication. They prefer texting over talking. It’s the world in which they live.

Research in the field of communication found that a third of American teenagers send more than one hundred texts a day. They want to feel a personal connection, engaged, inspired and understood…they just don’t know-how.  The combination of their ineffective speaking skills combined with our weak listening skills is hurting the development process.

 

Listening “Between” the Words

Exceptional listeners filter through conversations to identify the true meaning behind their athlete’s words. The ability to “listen” between words helps the listener discern if the student seeks constructive criticism or only a sympathetic ear. Attentive listeners recognize anomalies that enable them to identify the beliefs, attitudes, and feelings behind words. This allows them to interpret the athlete’s spoken truth, fiction, optimism, pessimism, expectation, intentions, trust, past mental habits, and belief systems.

 

“An athlete’s belief system crafts their future. Every syllable they speak engages energy towards them or against them.”

 

As novice parents and intermediate coaches gain wisdom, they become more in-tune listeners. They discover hidden belief systems behind their athlete’s dialog. Great listeners know there is “subconscious” energy behind words. Pessimistic behaviors are not difficult to spot because all too often, those very same negative thoughts, tones, words, and actions stem from those nurturing the athlete. As the athlete’s thoughts become their words, those words determine their beliefs and play a deciding role in their performance, especially during stressful match conditions.

When effective listening is applied, the athlete’s sequence of thought-speech-action becomes very clear to the “in-tuned” entourage. Please pay attention to the belief systems habitually used by your athletes. An athlete’s affirmations and inner dialog can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic. It should be painfully obvious that their self-coaching either builds them up or tears them down at crunch time.

Effective Listening- Part 3

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Effective Listening- Part 3

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Those of us who fail to abide by the above guidelines send damaging subconscious “red flags” to the athlete in regards to the student-teacher relationship. Parents and coaches who are poor listeners send the following messages to their athletes:

  • Your opinions and views aren’t as important as mine.
  • Your feelings are ridiculous and stupid.
  • I’ll explain your position more accurately than you.
  • Listening to you is a waste of my precious time.
  • I’m superior, stop talking and I’ll prove it once again to you.
  • There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard a million times.

Being a thoughtful teacher and communicator begins by being an empathetic listener. Great listeners change the student’s perspective from a problem being a catastrophic event to an issue that is a solvable opportunity for growth.

Questions That Motivate Dialog

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regards to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

 

Effective Listening- Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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The method in which a parent or coach asks questions and listens is also important. If the athlete views the questions as an intimidating interrogation, they feel frightened and pressured. There is indeed an optimistic demeanor that encompasses effective listening.

Effective Listening Begins with:

  • Get down, physically, to the students’ level.
  • Take off your sunglasses and look them in the eyes.
  • Give them your time. Listen intently.
  • Assume you can learn from the student.
  • Accept their view (set aside your beliefs).
  • Allow them to lead, go with their flow.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say, “Let’s explore that…”
  • Understanding that talking “at” someone isn’t power. Listening is power.
  • Avoid speculating and jumping to conclusions.
  • Maintain their conversational pace and fight the urge to interrupt.
  • Allow them to finish their thoughts and sentences.
  • Focus on spotting key objectives and phrases to discuss later.
  • If you’re planning witty responses, you’re typically not actively listening.
  • Remember, some athletes aren’t seeking advice; they are seeking an empathetic ear.
  • After discussing the issue, ask them for their solutions before offering your solutions.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear your thoughts.
  • Avoid one-upmanship statements to prove that your past experience trumps theirs.
  • Avoid saying, “I told you so!” Even when you told them so.
  • Facilitate your relationship by applying empathy.
  • Mirror their feelings within the context of their conversation.
  • Follow their train of thought with nodding, caring facial expressions, and body language.
  • Re-state their points to clarify that you understand them correctly.
  • Affirm their frustrations. “That sounds difficult, how did you respond?”
  • To keep the focus on them, ask, “How did that make you feel? Versus “Here’s what I would have done!”
  • Conclude with a summarizing statement to ensure that their information was received correctly.
  • Organize future, agreed-upon solutions, and job descriptions.

 

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 3

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Sharpening Healthier Communication

 

I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?

Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:

  • I love watching you play!
  • I’m so proud of you.
  • I’m impressed by your skills.
  • I’m so grateful to be your parent.
  • You are so brave.
  • It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on court.
  • You are so creative and skillful.
  • I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
  • It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
  • I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
  • I admire your courage to compete.
  • Your optimism is contagious- I love when you smile.
  • This is my favorite part of the week.
  • I love being your parent and/or coach.

 

Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system.  Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)

All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.

The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.

 

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Dalai Lama

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Is the state of the art instruction about the instructor’s proficiency in performing drills, or is it about the instructor’s ability to connect with their student? Communicating above or below the digestion rate of the student is ineffective. While tennis knowledge and drilling efficiency are important, I believe a master teacher connects to the student and monitors the rate at which each student digests information. As we saw with Wendy and her father, the message received within the dialog is much more than the facts.

As I researched how to sharpen my communication skills, I realized that the way in which information is presented influences the outcome. I learned to focus on communicating honestly and with authenticity, but also to consider stressing or de-stressing the learning environment based on the energy in the room.

Successfully communicating the facts is highly dependent on WHAT message is being delivered and HOW the message is being delivered. The following list offers eight techniques I recommend applying to communicate effectively:

  • Intertwine sports science facts with personal, emotional storytelling.
  • Impart humor within a conversational tone to bond the relationship.
  • Avoid a distancing style with an elitist attitude and academic language.
  • Use inclusive pronouns like “We all need to…”
  • Apply cadences, rhythms, and dramatic pauses to accentuate meaning.
  • Vary their volume from a scream to a whisper to deepen the message.
  • Pull listeners in by modifying the pace of delivery from excited and fast to dramatic and slow.
  • Match and mirror the listener to make them more comfortable.

Great communicators presenting in groups or one-on-one have developed their presentation power. Armed with a full toolbox of delivery methods, they trade in intimidating, interrogating, and dictating with sharing everyday experiences to engage the audience which is the heart of genuinely connecting.

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

Sharpening Healthier Communication

 

It’s dinner time at the Klein’s house. Mr. Klein and his daughter Wendy spent the day at a USTA level 3 girls 16’s event. Wendy was seeded #4 in the tournament. Her 9:00 am match went terribly wrong. Wendy’s serve percentages were catastrophically low and as a result, she suffered an embarrassing first-round loss.

Later that night at the dinner table the conversation quickly escalated from small talk to another tennis-related screaming match. As they passed the potatoes, another family dinner was ruined.  Mr. Klein wished he had an instruction manual for these heated exchanges.

 

Psychologists researching communication offer a concept called the Four-Sides Model. The theory states that Mr. Klein’s initial comment “Honey, your serve was really off today.” exposed four possible ways Wendy could accept the data:

  • As an impersonal factual stat.
  • Insights about Mr. Klein’s feelings.
  • As a personal underlining insult towards Wendy.
  • As an appeal for improvement.

The message Mr. Klein was intentionally trying to convey isn’t necessarily what was perceived by Wendy. Mr. Klein’s statement “Honey, your serve was really off today.” led to a whirlwind of problems between him and his daughter. This, in turn, spiraled into the silent treatment from his wife because once again their family harmony was disrupted.

For Mr. Klein, the factual data and appeal for improvement were the only reason for the statement. Wendy’s interpretation of his statement was polar opposite. Wendy felt awful because she believed that she had let her parents and coaches down. She also concluded that her father’s statement about her serve implied that she was not working hard enough and that she was a failure.

 

“Communication is less about what is being said and more about how the words are decoded by the listener.”

 

As coaches and parents communicate with their athlete, the athlete’s personality profile acts as a filter as they decode the information. Some athletes are wired to accept and enjoy the analysis of cold hard facts while others are wired to overlook the facts and instead zone in to the emotional climate of the conversations. Each athlete connects the dots and paints the picture they choose to hear. An individual’s personality profile determines how one communicates. (We will interpret personality profiles in greater detail in coming chapters.)

 

 

 

 

Communication Skills and Tennis Success – Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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A Great Replacement Tip:

Occasionally trade in the old school, pre-hit stretching routine with an upbeat dance-off. Turn up the tunes and watch athletes laugh their guts out while they dynamically stretch their bodies. Trust me, even if they arrive tired, stressed, or negative, as they let go, they’ll dance their worries away, and you’ll have 25 kids with 25 huge smiles!

A positive mindset is a precursor to a meaningful session. Parents, the preceding replacement solution also works wonders at home as a way to motivate the family to seek optimism.

 

“An exceptional culture creates the positive attitude and mindset that promotes growth strategies,
which in turn sustains excellence in competition.”

 

It’s important to note that despite the student’s inherent athletic ability, level of play, or commitment to the game, each student deserves the same sports science data, focus, and energy as a high performer. In fact, providing a rich culture of mentoring is precisely how average performers blossom into the high-performance category.

Over the past few years, I conducted an informal study on the culture of tennis facilities throughout my travels around the world. I came to some very predictable conclusions:

The programs with a positive culture were monitored and often reviewed by the owners. They were optimistic by design, and as a result, they achieved thriving, positive environments. They attracted top players organically via their triumphant athletes and their satisfied parents. They also acquired disgruntled clients from the negative cultured programs. As a result, the programs with a positive culture retained athletes up to three times as long as their problem-oriented rivals.

The programs with a problem-oriented drill Sargent culture struggled to keep coaches, to keep students, and to pay the rent. As a result, they had to partake in serious recruiting, sales, and marketing just to keep their doors open.

Communication Skills and Tennis Success- Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Creating an Exceptional Culture

 

Mr. Martinez is the tennis operations manager at Big Sky Country Club. A short time ago, he hired Richard as their new tennis director. Richard played college ball, graduated with a highly regarded tennis management degree and his resume checked all the boxes. On the technical side, Richard was microscopically detailed. He could spot a student’s opposing force vectors on their serve six courts away. He was adept at video analysis, organizing compass draws, teaching stroke fundamentals, and eager to oversee the club’s racket stringing service. On paper, Richard was a good fit for a Country Club.

Sadly, within weeks, Richard turned out to be a nightmare. While he had tennis business knowledge, he possessed no interpersonal communication skills. Richard’s interactions with members and co-workers were so poor; it led to his termination just one month into the job. Let’s look into why Richard was let go so soon from Big Sky Country Club.

Richard had a pompous demeanor toward everyone all the time. When adult members would ask for his assistance, he would respond with a loud disrespectful sigh.  When Mrs. Jones asked him to fill in with the ladies league for 15-20 minutes until Helen arrived, Richard shook his head in disgust and said, “My hitting rate is the same as my lesson rate. For me to go on court, it’s $120.00 an hour!” Richard even drew complaints from the parents of the junior program because he would scold the children if they smiled and laughed in their beginner’s clinic. Richard was a taskmaster, and to him, clinics were to work and not to play.

The club’s co-workers were also scared of Richard. His pessimistic problem-oriented view of his job made him uncomfortable to be around. The club’s assistant pros reported that he would consistently complain about the facility and the management staff directly to the members. His negative verbal and nonverbal communication reaped havoc throughout the club.

Richard was also incompetent at the most essential interpersonal communication skill:  listening.  For example, one Friday afternoon, Mr. Martinez, the club manager, handed two rackets to Richard and told him that he had assured junior club member, Joey, that both his rackets would be strung by Saturday morning at 8:00 am. He could pick them up on his way out-of-town to the tournament.  Although Richard was looking at Mr. Martinez as he took Joey’s rackets from him, Richard wasn’t listening. His focus was on a tennis match on the pro-shop television.

So Joey and his dad stopped in Saturday morning and his rackets sat unstrung in the pro-shop. The members were obviously upset and Mr. Martinez was furious with Richard.  Mr. Martinez addressed Richard about why they were not strung, and he snapped: “You didn’t tell me to string them yesterday!”

After multiple “red flags,” Mr. Martinez had no choice but to put Richard on probation. Richards’s lack of interpersonal communication skills continued to disrupt the club’s optimistic culture. Richard didn’t possess the ability to problem solve, adapt, correct issues or even care to attempt to fit into the club’s corporate guidelines. The final straw was when a member came into the pro-shop and complained that his children are no longer enjoying the clinics and they are considering going elsewhere for lessons. Richard took it personally, called the member an idiot, and instigated a shouting match, “If you want Mikey and Lauren to learn the correct strokes, let me do my job! If you want them to be hackers…then go! I don’t care!”

Richard’s lack of communication skills instigated his firing. He couldn’t apply appropriate decision making, empathy, analyze options or come up with win-win solutions. It was his way or the highway- period. Insulting the members prompted Richard’s demise. The members quit the club and Richard lost his job.

 

Interpersonal Communication

 

If technical knowledge is the science of teaching, interpersonal communication is the art of teaching. Interpersonal communication characterizes the interaction that takes place between two or more people. In the coaching world, gaining an understanding of sports biomechanics is important, but mastering communication is essential. Is your athlete being nurtured interpersonal skills? The following is a laundry list of interpersonal communication skills that facilitate success in tennis and in life.

Accountable, Accuracy, Adaptability, Adept, Alertness, Ambition, Amiability, Analytical, Articulate, Assertive, Attentiveness, Business-like, Capable, Caring, Competence, Confidence, Conscientiousness, Considerate, Consistency, Cooperation, Creative, Critical Thinking, Dedication, Dependability, Detail Oriented, Determination, Diplomatic, Efficiency, Empathy, Encouraging, Energy, Enterprising, Ethical, Experienced, Flexibility, Hardworking, Helpfulness, Honesty, Imaginative, Independent, Industriousness, Influential, Innovation, Insightful, Intuitive, Leadership, Logical Thinking, Loyal, Management, Motivation, Nonverbal Communication, Optimism, Organizational, Passion, Patience, Perceptive, Positive, Practical, Problem Solving, Productive, Professional, Progressive, Punctual, Rational, Realistic, Reflective, Reliable, Resourceful, Respectful, Responsible, Sense Of Humor, Sincere, Sociable, Teachable, Teaching, Teamwork, Technical Literacy, Tolerance, Trustworthy, Understanding, Verbal Communication, Versatility, Visionary, Work Ethic…Whew!

 

Without a doubt, any parent or coach would love to have their athletes possess these personal skills.

Excellence begins with a positive culture both at home and at the club. In our sport, invested athletes don’t search out places like “Allen’s Average Tennis Academy” or “Mike’s Mundane Monday Night Clinic.” On a conscious level, parents and athletes seek excellent technical knowledge. On the subconscious level, they pursue meaningful interpersonal relationships.

The culture I recommend is solution-oriented versus problem-oriented. Athletes are much more likely to flourish in a solution-orientated environment. Coaches that provide a solution-based program are teaching lasting life skills.

 

 

Introduction into The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

INTRODUCTIONIMG_080_R_WHITE

 

Let’s begin by using a computer analogy, if strokes and athleticism are the athlete’s hardware, mental and emotional skills are surely the athlete’s software.

We all know that mental toughness and emotional resolve are critical in competition. The Soft Science of Tennis is specially designed to improve the mysterious software skills. With this groundbreaking book, respect is developed, and trust is earned as coaches and parents create an exceptional culture, sharpen stronger communication techniques, and connect with each student at a much deeper level.

The Soft Science of Tennis identifies each athlete’s individual personality profile and unique cerebral design. Throughout these pages, we’ll expose how your athlete’s inborn genetic predispositions affect their behavioral attributes and on-court competitive characteristics.

Getting into the student’s world requires the open-mindedness to embrace how the student’s genetic predispositions impact their match play.

 

“You must first get into their world to change their world.”

 

This book challenges coaches, athletes, and parents to recognize that preferred learning styles and training requirements are unique to each athlete.

The science of profiling personality isn’t new or even unique. Today there are dozens of profiling programs including Disc, Social styles, Predictive Index, Profiles Int., HBDI, Strengthfinder, Keirsey Temperament, TTI, Human Metrics, and MBTI to name a few. These models all share in helping us better connect and communicate. The Soft Science of Tennis applies the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator because it is the most widely recognized profiling application in use around the world.

MBTI is a registered trademark, and inside this book, I am simply sharing my unique, tennis-specific understandings of their application.

Brain design awareness enhances our ability to customize our teaching approach to the different personality profiles found in the sport. While there are many interpretations of personality profiling, The Soft Science of Tennis aims to share techniques that I’ve found highly successful in my 30 years of coaching tennis.

Also included is the importance of nurturing positive character traits and life skills, and why developing a healthy moral compass matter. This soft science book dissects how to conquer essential performance anxieties such as overriding negative belief systems, eliminating internal judgment, and building coachable athletes.

 

“In the coaching field, there is more to the story than teaching fundamental strokes. An athlete’s negative emotional state can and will derail great game plans and exquisite strokes.”

 

Rounding out this book, are several chapters uniquely focused on how to change fixed mindsets, managing fear, and risk, and developing confidence and self-esteem. These are some of the favorite topics of high IQ coaches attending my conferences around the world. Consequently the question, “Why doesn’t anyone else teach this stuff?” has become a reoccurring theme of discussion among coaches and parents alike throughout my travels. Within these pages, it is my goal to share everything you didn’t even know…you needed to know about the soft science of tennis.

Tennis Industry Testimonials – Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Frank Giampaolo

“Frank Giampaolo has nailed it again in The Soft Science of Tennis. This time he has led us to see the absolutely critical importance of connecting with our students by understanding their personality profile, cognitive design and learning styles. All great teaching begins with the tools he provides. Thanks to Frank for giving them to us in this outstanding book.”

Tim Mayotte, Boston, Massachusetts, Former Top 7 ATP, NCAA Singles Champion, USTA National Coach

 

The Soft Science of Tennis is another valuable resource from Frank Giampaolo. He is knowledgeable and passionate about sharing – these two qualities demonstrate why Frank has been a top-rated presenter at the PTR International Tennis Symposium. In The Soft Science of Tennis, Frank gets the message across and reminds us what’s truly important in our coaching. Communication, Engagement, Life Skills, and Character Building are what really matter in the mark we leave on our students after we are gone!”

Julie Jilly, Hilton Head, South Carolina, PTR VP Marketing/Events

 

“Frank Giampaolo once again demonstrates that he is the supreme grandmaster of tennis psychology. What distinguishes champions from other players is what goes on inside their minds. If you want to play better and understand the kind of training that is likely to work best for you, read this. Then, read it again.”

Clinton W. McLemore, Laguna Niguel, California Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, USC

 

“Frank Giampaolo has done it again. His new book THE SOFT SCIENCE OF TENNIS is all about what REALLY matters in tennis. In a world where most players are on an endless pursuit to perfecting their strokes, Frank teaches players about the BIG picture… things that will matter in the long run. If you’re serious about improving your game and thinking outside the box… this book is for you.”

Jorge Capestany, Michigan USPTA Master professional, PTR International Master professional, Founder, CapestanyTennis.com

 

“Frank has hit another ‘ace’ with his latest book The Soft Science of Tennis. He is a wealth of information in so many areas of tennis and always does a fantastic job in addressing the needs of athletes, parents, and coaches. This book’s an amazing read touching on the hidden topics of advanced communication and personality profiling which are often missed by many coaches.”

Michele Krause, Sarasota, Florida TIA Global Education Director- Cardio Tennis

 

“Frank’s positive attitude and his ability to see tennis from different angles make his insights fresh and unique. In The Soft Science of Tennis, Frank once again shows us different, powerful pathways to success.”

Eliot Teltscher, Irvine, California Top #6 ATP player, Former managing director of the USTA Player Development Program

 

 

The Soft Side of Tennis is filled with insight and inspiration to help you reach your potential. In this extraordinary book, Frank Giampaolo shows you how to successfully utilize your skillset by developing a positive mindset.”

Roger Crawford, Sacramento California, Host of Tennis Channel’s Motivational Monday’s, Best-Selling Author-Hall of Fame Speaker
The Soft Science of Tennis is not just another tool in your toolbox but another complete toolbox that every coach and parent should read. As in any sport, technical and physical abilities will not flourish until mental capabilities grow and strengthen. Frank takes you through the effective steps of how to assist your athletes in developing a strong and positive mindset. Any coach or parent trying to help a player who is striving for excellence must read this book. This is definitely a book that I will purchase for the entire High-Performance coaching staff at CDL.”

Dean Hollingworth, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, WTA Trainer, CSCS, MTPS Director of High-Performance Club CDL

 

“Great book! I believe this is going to help a lot of coaches and players. It should be part of the mandatory curriculum as a teaching professional. The four parts of a performance paradigm are physical, equipment, technical, and mental. This book is a must for the mental side of the athlete. If you’re into building champions of life and on-court this book is a must.”

Dr. Sean Drake, Oceanside California, Performance Director at TPI