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The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
The following post is an excerpt from The Psychology of Tennis Parenting.
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The Argumentative Athlete
For most teens, argumentativeness is more a reflex than an angry choice. Typically, high-performance athletes believe their knowledge of their sport exceeds their parent’s knowledge. Hence, giving them a perceived advantage over their parents. Turning damaging arguments into healthy disagreements is an emotional strategy. The lesson learned is that everyone can get their concerns heard and considered. Parents can find these arguments puzzling. You’ll help athletes regulate their emotions and solve problems by teaching them how to respond better.
Solution: Nurture the ability to postpone and censor their responses to advice. This key self-awareness trait will serve your athletes well on and off the tennis courts. Here are some tricks to get them started:
- Digest the substance of the request.
- Recognize when emotions are running the show.
- Take a break.
- Avoid criticizing before responding.
- Set the ego aside and choose your battles.
- Formulate evidence before stating your case.
- Offer solutions versus pointing out flaws.
- Disallow the blame game.
- Confront the subverting of the conversation.
Remember, even though your athlete’s tennis skills are mature, their emotional regulating skills are likely still under development.
