The following post is an excerpt from The Tennis Parent’s Bible. Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo
Question: My son allows opponents to hook him time after time and then proceeds to get angry and play worse. How do we explain to him that his fear of confrontation is the reason he is getting so angry?
Frank: This is much more common than parent think. Especially with only children or privileged athletes who never had to battle for the last slice of pizza or the remote control. Confronting adversity is a learned behavior. Champions have learned not to avoid confrontation but to meet it head on.
“Progress usually doesn’t happen without Confrontation”
Confrontation should be seen as negotiation versus a fight. By allowing opponents to hook and avoiding the fight, your son is likely manifesting internal anger. This anger stops the positive, confident attitude essential to playing at the peak performance level. So by allowing the cheater to cheat, your son is
Remember channel capacity? This neuroscience term states that the human brain cannot solve two complicated tasks simultaneously. It sounds like his negative self-condemnation overtakes his performance goals which lead to him donating games away. Explain to him that standing up to the confronting gamesmanship is part of the competitive arena and that he must have pre-set protocols to deal with it. (Dealing with confrontation is a life issue- it is likely present in all areas of his life- not just tennis.)
Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
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