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The Psychology of Tennis Parenting
Emotional Regulation
As Jenna Hanson’s match begins, her father, Steve, starts to pace the cage. By the first game, he’s offering illegal advice to Jenna “Jen, toss higher…come on!” Next, he’s offering “advice” to the roaming official, “Ref, my daughter is being cheated on court #5 … let’s go, get out there!” After the referee stays for two games and disappears, Steve begins yelling at Jenna’s opponent. “Do you need to cheat?” In his hijacked state of mind, Steve is asked to leave the facility once again.
We’ve all had firsthand experience witnessing our youngsters get cheated. We’ve all lost perspective and momentarily felt like Steve.
Regulating our emotions when our little babies compete isn’t easy. Our self-worth and self-esteem are on the line as a silly junior tennis match feels like the Super bowl. Powerful protective instincts rise as we try desperately to react with just the right amount of emotions not to upset our precious phenom.
Solution: The very nature of tennis tournaments are mentally and emotionally intense for children and their spectator parents. A tennis match is a helpless experience for parents as we sit and only smile when our child’s crying in anguish. Tennis tournaments have rules and even roaming officials, but a few bad calls inevitably occur in every match.
Emotional regulation is about controlling our reactions. Staying calm under attack in a Zen-like fashion is a tennis parent strategy. Fake it until you make it is an emotional strategy. Managing one’s mindset, facial expression, and body language is a vital tennis parent job description.
