The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers! Click Here to Order
The Real Talent Is Emotional Toughness
Emotional Aptitude Is a Skill
At the start of a Southern California junior tennis tournament, the referee calls Kristen Michaels and Jenny Scott to court number four for their match. Kristen seemed to be a super fit, committed athlete with poise, and solid fundamentals. She was dressed from head to toe in the newest Nike gear with her hair braided to perfection. She walked onto the court, unpacked her Wimbledon tournament towel, Gatorade, and water bottle as she meticulously lined them up next to her chair. She then selected two rackets from her Nike tour bag as she “pings” them together to listen for the perfect string tension. Deciding on one, she immediately started shadow swinging and shuffling her feet as she waited for the umpire to perform the mandatory coin toss.
Jenny on the other hand, did not appear to be as polished. In fact, she looked downright amateur in her California board shorts and surfer T-shirt. At the coin toss, Jenny was still wrestling through her tennis bag looking for a hair tie as the umpire yells “heads or tails?” Jenny grabs the only racket she brought and calmly saunters towards the net. She lets Kristin choose to serve or return. Jenny couldn’t care less.
The 5-minute pre-match warm-up started and Kristen looked like a professional. Her movement and strokes were flawless. Jenny, on the other side of the net, looked unorthodox, as she scrambled to return the ball back Kristin’s way.
The referee called time and the match started. Most watching were sure Kristen was going to blow Jenny off the court. But to the spectator’s surprise, Kristin was struggling, down 0-2 within the first 5 minutes of play. The beautiful strokes we had witnessed in the warm-up were gone. By game 3, Kristin reached her maximum frustration tolerance level. She couldn’t keep a backhand in the court as Jenny profiled her opponent and systematically hit every ball to Kristin’s ailing backhand side. Kristen was angry, stomping around, yelling at herself, screaming at her racket, her coach, and her mom. Jenny, on the other hand, was a composed warrior relentlessly picking on Kristin’s weakness. Within 45 minutes, Jenny went on to win 6-2, 6-0. After the match, Jenny’s mom was overheard only uttered three words “Who wants Taco’s?”
As illustrated above, emotional aptitude isn’t typically identifiable until after competition begins. What separates the elite competitors from the emotionally fragile athletes is their ability to thrive under perceived stress. Emotional aptitude is the ability to overcome hardships and to destress situations rather than magnify stressful situations. Athletes struggling with poor emotional aptitude lack confidence, composure, suffer bouts of self-doubt, and possess an overwhelming fear of being judged by others. These performance meltdowns often go unseen in practice but shine in all their glory on game day.
Elite competitors are confident that their superior emotional strength will override any hardships and physical limitations. The emotionally weak athletes are convinced that the unfair hardships and their perceived limitations will override their peak performance and catastrophe will once again occur.
An old school word used to describe emotional aptitude is Grit. In regards to high achievers, researchers have come to the conclusion that successful individuals possess traits deeper than the mastery of athletic ability. Grit is persistent courage, resolve, and strength of character. Grit is the learned ability to have “nerves of steel,” fortitude and determination. Interestingly, some athletes are pre-wired to have these essential components and some are not. For those athletes who are not natural combatants, developing emotional aptitude is critical.
